


Ghosts

by xtremeroswellian



Category: Roswell (TV 1999)
Genre: Alex Whitman is a good friend, Anger, Anxiety, Apologies, BAMF Isabel Evans, Breakups, Bullying, Childhood Sexual Abuse, College Life, Creepy, Death, Depression, Divorce, Dorm Living, Dreamwalking, Explicit Language, F/M, Families of Choice, Flashbacks, Forced Oral Sex, Friendship, Funerals, Ghost Stories, Hauntings, Horrible college food, Horrible unsolicited dating advice, Insomnia, Isabel is the Christmas Nazi, It used to cost money to call people long distance, Keeping secrets never turns out well, Maria's freaked out, Max Evans is a good boyfriend, Michael Guerin is smart, Music as a trigger, Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Protective Alex Whitman, Protective Isabel Evans, Protective Maria DeLuca, Protective Max Evans, Protective Michael Guerin, Self care is so important, Self-Defense Lessons, Sexual Harassment, Skipping Class, Skipping Work, Sleepovers, Stalking, Suicidal Ideation, Tarot Cards, Trauma, Unfinished, Unresolved Trauma, Victim Blaming, horrible parenting, marriage proposals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:53:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 85,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xtremeroswellian/pseuds/xtremeroswellian
Summary: Sequel to "Matters of Trust."Just because the bad thing that happened is in the past, doesn't mean it stops impacting your life.
Relationships: Alex Whitman/Isabel Evans, Amy DeLuca/Jim Valenti, Kyle Valenti/Original Female Character(s), Liz Parker & Kyle Valenti, Liz Parker & Michael Guerin, Liz Parker/Max Evans, Maria DeLuca & Liz Parker & Alex Whitman, Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, first of all I want to note that I started writing this literally 20 years ago and how crazy is that? 
> 
> Secondly, please note that a LOT of serious, triggering subjects are dealt with in this story. When I set out to write it, I wanted to be clear that there's nothing about sexual abuse that should be romanticized. 
> 
> Third, it is, sadly, unfinished. It took a lot out of me to write this one, but I'm posting what I did have completed anyway.

Max Evans waited outside the psychology room for Liz Parker. He watched the flood of people pouring out of the room. As the last student ran out, Max peeked his head inside the classroom.

"Can I help you?" Prof. Draya asked.

"Um...Yeah, I was looking for Liz Parker."

"She wasn't in class today." Prof. Draya studied him for a moment. "Your name is Max, right?"

He nodded.

"I thought you looked familiar. You're a friend of Liz's?"

"Yeah."

"Well, when you see her, tell her I missed having my favorite student in class this morning." Prof. Draya gathered her briefcase and papers and left.

Max frowned and looked down at his watch. It was 9:54. He bit his lip and headed down the hallway to the advanced composition classroom. He spotted Isabel sitting at her usual desk, getting ready for class. There were a few other students already there, as well.

"Isabel!" he whispered.

She looked up in surprise and met his gaze. He motioned her over.

"Max. What's up?" she asked.

"Have you seen Liz?"

"No. Why?"

"She didn't go to psych this morning. I was hoping you'd seen her."

Isabel shook her head, noting the worried expression on her brother's face. "Maybe she's sick."

"Yeah. Maybe," he echoed.

A group of students moved past them and into the room. Max looked at his watch again. "If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her. I'm going to head over to her room and see if she's there."

"Okay. Hey, if she's not in her room, check with Michael or Maria. Neither of them have early classes. Maybe she went over to hang out or something."

Max nodded, knowing she was trying to keep him from panicking. But they both knew Liz wouldn't be with Michael or Maria, not when she had classes. Out of the six of them, Liz was the most academically disciplined. She never missed class unless something was wrong. "Right," he answered finally. He turned around and hurried off down the hallway.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max knocked on Liz's dorm room door, paused and listened. Liz never called, "Come in." He glanced at the erasable marker board on the door. No message had been written on it saying where she went or when she'd be back.

This was very unlike her.

Max glanced up and down the hallway. Then he moved his hand over the lock and turned the door handle. He quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

He looked around the room. The bed was unmade, the blankets had been shoved to the end of the bed in a twisted heap. The closet door was flung open and clothes and hangers were discarded on the floor. Liz's portable phone reciever was on the bed. The window was open a crack, letting in the chilly October air.

Max moved over to the phone and picked up the reciever to put it back on the charger, but when he picked it up, he had a vision.

Liz sat up in bed, and stared at the glowing red digits. 3:26 a.m. The phone was ringing. She reached over and picked it up. "Hello?" She listened for a moment. "Yeah, I'll be right there." She dropped the phone onto the bed, shoved the covers down and jumped out of bed, hurrying to the closet.

Max set the phone back on the charger and swallowed hard. Well, at least she hadn't been kidnapped. He drew in a deep breath and busied himself by picking up clothes, and hanging them back on their hangers and placing them back in the closet.

He ran his fingers over the silver necklace that lay on her nightstand. Alex had gotten the necklace for her for her birthday last year, and she always wore it. He studied the rose pendant that dangled from it. It was small, and had the initials E.M.P. engraved on the back. He moved his hand to pick up a gold-framed picture of her and him on Christmas Eve the year before. He smiled.

Then he glanced over and studied the pictures that hung on the billboard on the concrete wall next to the bunk bed, by her pillow. There were several pictures of her and Maria and Alex, and then a single one of Isabel, and one of Michael, one of Michael, Isabel, and Max at lunch, and then one of the six of them at prom, and another of the six of them at graduation.

Max remembered graduation night. The six of them had gone to the desert together, instead of going to one of the parties they'd been invited to. They'd only wanted it to be the six of them. Their family. They'd had a picnic under the stars, with soft music on the radio, and they'd danced for hours. He smiled at the memory.

Just then, he heard the door open and close again, and he stood up to face Liz. He stared at her and her lower lip trembled. Her eyes were filled with tears that spilled over. She dropped her purse on the ground and he opened his arms as she rushed into them.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He just held her for a long time, stroking her hair gently. "Liz?" he whispered finally as she started to calm down.

She buried her face in his shoulder and held onto him tightly. "Oh, Max."

Max kissed the top of her head. "What is it?" he asked gently, pulling away from her.

"One of our clients from the clinic tried to commit suicide last night," she whispered, her face crumpling again.

He swallowed hard and then brushed her tears away with his thumbs. He kissed her forehead and she wrapped her arms around his waist again and began to sob.

He held her tightly. "It's okay. It's okay," he whispered. "Tell me about it."

She nodded her against him slightly. "She's fourteen. Her uncle..." Liz's voice trailed off.

Max sucked in a breath and held her even tighter.

"No one would believe her, Max. No one believe her and she couldn't handle it."

"Someone does believe her, Liz," he said softly.

Liz looked up at him, her eyes red-rimmed. She touched his face and he pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Max."

"You don't have to worry about it. You have me. Always," he promised, gazing into her beautiful brown eyes.

She nodded. "Could you just hold me for awhile?"

"Yeah." They moved over to the bed, and Max and Liz slipped off their shoes and crawled under the covers. He wrapped his arms around her, and rested his chin on the top of her head as she laid her head on his shoulder. Max pulled the blankets up around them and rubbed her back softly in a soothing circular motion.

He remembered four years ago when he found out what Liz's uncle had done to her and he supressed a shudder.

The very thought of anyone touching Liz, of hurting her that way made him sick. And it had happened. He hadn't been there to stop it from happening. And now it had happened to someone else, someone Liz knew and cared about. He held her protectively and she snuggled up against him.

A wave of fear washed over him. Something was coming, Max could feel it. And he knew it was only a matter of time before the ghosts returned.

* * *

Max gently shook Liz awake. She stirred and then rubbed her eyes sleepily. "What time is it?"

"It's time for dinner. It's after six."

Liz sighed. "Why don't you go on without me? I'm not really hungry."

Max frowned. "You should eat, Liz."

"Really, I'm okay. I just want to take a long, hot shower."

"You're sure?"

Liz pulled herself out of bed and stretched. "Yeah. Can you just tell everyone I said hi?"

"Sure." Max studied her for a moment, his brow furrowed with worry.

She saw the look he had on his face and she touched his cheek gently. "I'm okay, Max. I promise."

"Okay. I'll be back after dinner."

Liz watched as Max left the room and shut the door behind him. She sighed and grabbed her basket of shampoos and soaps and then she pulled a clean towel out of her closet and reached for her bathrobe just as her telephone rang.

She walked back across the room and picked up the reciever. "Hello?" There was no answer. "Hello?" she said again, impatiently. Still no answer. "Stupid jerk," she muttered into the phone before slamming it down on the charger. It was no doubt one of the guys in North, the all guys dorm on campus. They were famous for prank calls and wild parties.

Liz grabbed her dorm room keys and stepped into the hallway with her bath stuff, locking the door behind her. She looked up and down the hallway. She listened carefully. Not a sound was being made. Everyone in her hall must have gone to dinner already. The florescent light flickered above her and she glanced up at it, noticing it was getting very dim. She felt a chill run down her spine.

She hurried down the hallway and pushed open the bathroom door. This was one of the few things she hated about college life--public restrooms. There were five stalls in the front part of the room, and in the back were four showers, with only curtains separating them. She hated the lack of privacy. Of course, right now I have the place all to myself, she thought.

She quickly undressed, hung her bathrobe and towel on the provided hook and stepped into the shower. She turned the water on hot, but was instantly blasted by cold water anyway. She'd forgotten why she usually took early morning showers--it was the only time there was hot water. She groaned and realized that instead of having a long, hot shower as she'd planned, she was now going to have to hurry through a cold one just to avoid getting hypothermia.

Liz reached for her shampoo and quickly lathered up her long dark hair, clenching her jaw tightly to keep her teeth from chattering. Just as she was rinsing her hair, she thought she heard footsteps coming towards her. She froze, her eyes wide. "Hello?" she called. She reached for her shampoo bottle, ready to squirt whoever it was in the eyes with it if she had to. She poked her head out of the curtain.

No one was there.

You're being paranoid again, Liz, she told herself. You've seen Psycho and Scream too many times. Just chill out.

She reached for her bar of soap and quickly scrubbed herself with it and rinsed off. She shut the water off, her anxiety growing. She swallowed hard, grabbed her robe without trying to dry off and pulled it onto her with great difficulty. She tied the sash around it, and quickly gathered her things. She left the shower area cautiously, her hair dripping wet and leaving a trail behind her.

Liz looked around the bathroom, but no one was there. It must have been her imagination. She pulled open the bathroom door and quickly padded down the hallway in her bare, wet feet. She fumbled with her keys until she found the one to her dorm room and then she unlocked her door, shutting it behind her quickly and then locking it.

She breathed a sigh of relief and set her basket of shower items on her desk and hung her towel on the rack under the mirror so it could dry. She plugged in her hair dryer and grabbed her brush as she ran it through her hair to get the tangles out as it dried. Just as she finished, there was a knock on her door.

"Who is it?" she called.

"It's me," the voice answered.

Liz couldn't help smile at the response as she unlocked the door and opened it. "Hey, Alex. What's up?"

"I passed Max on my way from the cafeteria. He said you weren't feeling so great."

"You ate dinner already?" she asked, avoiding the question.

"Yeah, I have to work in the computer lab in a little while," he said, glancing at her clock. All the students at Blueridge University had jobs on campus and were required to work at least ten hours a week in exchange for a reduction of tuition.

"Oh."

Alex didn't let her sidestep the question for long. "So, what's going on? Are you all right?" he asked in concern.

Liz nodded. "Yeah, I got called out on a case in the middle of the night. I'm just tired."

"Oh. Isabel said she came to check on you earlier, something about you not being in class. She said she found you and Max sleeping. That explains why," he said in understanding.

She frowned. "I'm sorry I caused everyone to worry. But I'm okay."

"That's all that matters. And now that I know you're okay, I have to get to work. So, I'll see you tonight sometime when I get done working?" he asked.

"Yeah, you can come over and watch E.R. with me if you want."

Alex smiled. "All right. Count on it." He waved at her one last time and then left. She closed the door behind him and locked it again.

Liz dug around in her dresser drawer and retrieved a pair of sweatpants and an old baggy night shirt. Her comfort clothes. Then she peeled off the robe and got dressed. She picked the robe off the floor and hung it next to her towel. That's when she noticed her answering machine was flashing.

She sighed and crossed the room. She hit play. "You have four new messages." She listened carefully. All four were hang up calls.

Liz peeked through her mini-blinds and out the window. She could see North from her window, and even though it was only Thursday night, she could see the dorm was active with a party. She strained and she could hear the sounds of Metallica blasting from one of the stereos over there. She rolled her eyes in disgust and flopped down on her bed.

She picked up her psychology text book and opened it to the chapter they'd been studying. She leapt off the bed when she heard the blood-curdling scream.

* * *

Liz grabbed the baseball bat that was next to her dorm room door. She always kept it there just in case someone tried to break in, or if there was a fire and she had to break the window to get out.

She swallowed hard and heard the scream again. She gripped the bat tighter, her fist clenched so hard her knuckles were white. She reached for the door handle and pulled it open. She instantly took a step back as she heard the laughter from down the hall.

Liz closed her eyes and took a deep breath, placing the baseball bat back in its spot and leaning out into the hallway.

"Hey, Liz!" Tonya, the girl who lived on the other side of her said, grinning as her boyfriend, Pete, carried her piggy-back style to her room.

Liz exhaled and nodded an acknowledgement.

"Hey, Liz," Pete said, meeting her eyes for a moment and then smiling crookedly.

"You look like you just saw a ghost," Tonya commented, sliding off Pete's back and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I heard screaming."

"Oh. Sorry. We didn't mean to scare you, did we, Tonya?" Pete asked, his eyes never leaving Liz's.

"Nope," Tonya agreed.

"That's okay." Liz stepped back into her room, and closed the door. She heard Tonya say, "freak," before she and Pete went into her room.

Liz closed her eyes and let her head drop, concentrating on breathing.

"Hey," a voice said from behind her.

Liz gasped and spun around. "Michael!"

He blinked and stepped back. "You okay?"

"You scared me!" she accused.

"Sorry. I-uh-brought you dinner. Max had to work on a paper at the computer lab and Isabel and Maria had research to do at the library, so Max asked me to bring you a plate back," Michael explained. He held out a plate of food to her and a can of soda.

She took a deep breath and accepted the plate. "Thanks." She sat down at her desk and took a sip of pepsi. Liz looked down at the food--it was a ham and cheese sandwich, with some potato chips and dip.

Michael sat down on the edge of her bed and watched her carefully. She was just picking at her food and her hand was trembling. "Liz?"

She looked up at him. "Yeah?"

"Are you all right? You're shaking."

Liz looked at her hand. She was shaking. She dropped her sandwich back onto her plate and stood up. "I'm okay."

He watched her pace back and forth for a moment. "Then why are you pacing?"

She stared at him in confusion. "I am?"

Michael stood up. "Max said you got called out on a case last night. Is that what's wrong?" he asked quietly.

Liz swallowed hard and looked away. "I don't know. Maybe." She sighed and then sat down on her bed. She put her head in her hands. "Have you ever felt like something was just...off, somehow?"

He sat down next to her. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Like there was something wrong but you couldn't figure out what it was...that's how I feel right now. I don't know why, I can't explain it." She sighed again.

Michael looked down at the floor. "Have you talked to Max about this?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"How can I explain something I don't understand?" Liz stood up. "It's just this feeling...I can't even identify what the feeling is exactly."

"Have you ever tried painting?" Michael asked suddenly.

She turned to face him. "What?"

"Painting. I think that's why I chose art for my major. I can get all the stuff out that I can't explain, the stuff that no one else really understands. Have you ever tried it?"

"No..." Liz said slowly.

"It's very therapuetic." He looked up at her.

"Wait. You think this has to do with Uncle Charlie?" She shook her head. "No, Michael. That's all over now. I haven't even seen him for four years."

"Yeah, but think about it, Liz. Where do you work?"

Liz paused. She was interning at the off-campus, local sexual assault clinic. "No. It's not that."

Michael met her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure," she said, her words sharper than she'd meant for them to be. She shook her head again. "That's not what this is about, Michael."

"Okay." He stood up and walked to the door. Then he paused and faced her again. "Liz, just because what happened was a long time ago doesn't mean that it hurts less. Believe me, I know." Their eyes met for a moment and then he left the room.

Liz stared after him and then wrapped her arms around herself. Suddenly she was feeling very cold.

* * *

Liz tied her tennis shoes and got a bottle of spring water out of her mini-refridgerator that set on her dresser. Then she grabbed her keys that were on a necklace, put the necklace on, and left her dorm room. She went out the back door of her dorm hallway and walked to the track behind her dorm building.

Liz set her water on the ground by the track, took a deep breath and started to run. She had tied her hair back in a ponytail so her hair wouldn't get in her face as she ran. She made sure to breathe in with each pace, inhaling and then exhaling rhythimically. It was a cold morning, but the sky was cloudless and the sun was starting to rise. And she was so focused on running that the cold didn't really bother her.

She'd been at it for about fifteen minutes when she felt someone coming up behind her. She wasn't surprised. Blueridge University had a lot of early morning joggers when the weather was decent. But she quickly realized that it wasn't just any early morning jogger. She knew that without even turning around.

Before long, he'd fallen in step with her, and kept pace right beside her. Liz didn't even bother to look over at him. "Are you going to keep ignoring me? What's a guy got to do to get some attention?" he asked breathlessly.

Liz didn't bother responding. She increased her speed a bit and he fell behind. A few minutes later, he had caught up with her again. "Do you hate me?"

Liz stopped in her tracks and he did the same. She turned to face her next-door neighbor's boyfriend. "No, Pete, I don't hate you. But I don't appreciate being followed."

Pete stared at her. "I wasn't following you. I like to jog."

Liz narrowed her eyes, a look that sent chills down most people's spines. "Look. I don't know what you want, but I want you to leave me alone."

"What did I ever do to you?" Pete demanded.

Liz ignored the question and started jogging again.

"Hey, I was just trying to be nice!" he called after her. He glared at her as he backed off the track. He backed right up into someone and then he turned to see who it was.

Alex Whitman was looking at him coldly. But then Alex moved past him and started jogging to catch up with Liz.

Pete's eyes narrowed, locking on Liz's figure. She'd pay for being rude to him.

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"Hey, Parker," Alex said as he easily caught up with her.

Liz glanced over at him. "Hey, Alex."

"You're not usually one to jog alone," he commented, glancing sideways at her. "What's up?"

"Just have some stuff on my mind. That's all." She stared straight ahead, letting her feet hit the gravel with the same pace she'd been at for the past two laps.

"Pete bothering you?" he asked, casting a glance over to where the guy was still standing, staring at them.

"He gives me the creeps," she admitted as she stopped where her water bottle was laying. She picked it up, loosened the cap, took it off, and took a long, cold drink.

She offered a drink to Alex, but he shook his head and waved the bottle away. Alex kept his eyes locked on Pete. "Want me to say something to him?"

"No. Let's just get some breakfast."

"Yeah, the cafeteria should be open by now," Alex agreed, glancing at his watch. It was 6:30 a.m. On the way, he kept glancing at Liz. He could tell something was bothering her, but he wasn't sure what. "Hey," he said, stopping as they reached the exterior door of the college cafeteria.

Liz looked up at him in surprise. "Yeah?"

"You know, if you want to talk...I'm here for you, Liz," he said gently.

"I know. I'm just not ready to talk to anyone about it yet. Okay?"

Alex nodded. "Whenever you are..." he let his voice trail off. He didn't need to say anymore. Liz would talk to him when she was ready.

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Max watched Liz throughout breakfast that morning. She'd been unusually quiet when he'd gone back to her room the previous night, after he'd finished his paper at the computer lab. Alex and Maria had come over and watched er with them, but instead of talking about the plot on the commericals like they did every Thursday, Liz had remained silent while Alex and Maria had talked.

And when he'd gotten ready to leave to go back to his room for the night, Liz had hesitated. Like she'd wanted to say something, but couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Are you all right?" he asked her.

"Yeah...I'm just...kind of restless, you know?" She leaned against her doorframe as he stood out in the hallway.

He looked at her in concern. "Well, if you need anything, call me, okay?"

"I will."

Max leaned down to kiss her, but instead of reaching up to meet him halfway as she usually did, Liz stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest and holding on tightly. Max, surprised, wrapped his arms around her and leaned his chin on the top of her head. When she pulled away, Max leaned in and kissed her forehead gently. "Good night, Liz."

"Night, Max," she whispered as she stepped back into her room and closed the door. He waited until he heard the lock turn, and then he leaned against the wall opposite her door for a moment, staring at her door. Then, shaking his head, he left the hallway and headed back to his own dorm.

"Earth to Max," Isabel said, waving a hand in front of his face.

Max blinked and stared back at his sister, who was looking at him in concern. "I'm here."

"Yeah, you are now. Where did you go?" she asked in confusion.

"Sorry. I was...thinking about my history paper," he lied. He wasn't even sure why he lied. He glanced across the table at Liz, who was taking a sip of orange juice. She looked back at him in concern, as well. "I'm okay," he said. Liz nodded carefully.

Alex raised an eyebrow and glanced back and forth between the two of them. Then he stood up and picked up his tray. "Well, I'm off to the wonderful world of computers. Ms. Evans, Ms. Parker...you ladies have a beautiful day. Max, I'll see you before you guys head home for the weekend?"

"Yep."

"All right. Catch you later." Alex walked away.

"Well, I have a rough draft due in approximately two hours," Isabel said, glancing at her watch. "So, I have to get back to my room and get busy. See you before we leave?" she asked Liz.

Liz smiled. "Count on it."

"Okay." Isabel smiled back at her, stood up, and carried her tray away.

Max and Liz looked at one another for a moment. "You better get to calculas," he reminded her. She sighed a barely audible sigh, but Max heard her. He reached across the table as Liz started to stand up, and he caught her wrist. "Liz, are you all right? Really?"

Liz met his eyes and saw they were filled with worry. She reached across the table with her other hand and touched his cheek gently. "I'm okay, Max. Really. I'm just going to miss you this weekend."

He nodded. "I'll miss you, too," he said quietly. He stood up and leaned across the table and their lips met in a soft, loving kiss.

"I have to get to class," Liz whispered.

"Okay," he whispered back, kissing her again.

He heard a chorus of wolf whistles and clapping and pulled away from Liz, rolling his eyes. She grinned and carried her tray to the drop-off window. He watched as she fastened her bookbag onto her back and turned to wave at him as she stepped through the cafeteria door. He waved back. And had an overwhelming urge to run after her as a bad feeling washed over him.

* * *

Max and Isabel had left to go home for the weekend around three. Michael had gone with them, needing a break from college life. They had about a six hour drive from Blueridge to Roswell, so they left early.

Maria had to work at the campus library over the weekend, and Alex was staying to catch up on some homework in his computer programming course. Liz, however, avoided Roswell, New Mexico whenever possible.

She was sitting on her bed that evening, trying to figure out what to write about for her essay in advanced composition, when the telephone rang. She set her syllabus down, reached over, and picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hi." It was a guy's voice, one she didn't recognize.

"Uh...Hi," Liz said, frowning. "Who is this?"

"Wanna come to a party in North?" the guy asked.

"No thanks."

"Oh, why not? You stuck up?" the guy asked, sounding offended.

"I'm studying," she said. She was about to hang up when she heard him say something else.

"You study too much if you ask me."

The line went dead. Liz pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it for a moment. She shook her head and hung up the receiver.

She picked her syllabus up again, searching the list for a paper topic. The phone rang again. Sighing, Liz picked it up. "What?"

There was a pause. Then, "Lizzie? You okay?"

She drew in a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm okay, Dad," she answered. "How are you? How's Mom?"

"Good. We're both doing fine, sweetie. We heard Max and Isabel and Michael were coming home this weekend. We were kind of disappointed to hear you weren't joining them."

Liz's heart ached at the sadness in her father's voice. "Yeah, me too, Dad," she said softly. "I just have a lot of homework to do this weekend."

He sighed. "I know, honey. I just wanted to call and say hi, see how things were going."

"They're going great. I'm just tired."

"Yeah, I remember my college days...Too much partying. But I know that's not what's wrong with you. You stay up all night studying."

She smiled. "I do occasionally get a few hours sleep, Dad," she said in a teasing voice.

"Glad to hear it. When's your Christmas vacation, Lizzie?"

"It starts December 19 and we come back January 9," Liz answered, glancing through her calendar.

"That's seems like such a long time from now," he said with another sigh.

Tears sprang to her eyes. "I know. But I'll be home before you know it."

"I know. Your mother and I just miss you. That's all."

"I miss you, too, Dad," she said quietly.

"Are Alex and Maria there this weekend?"

"Yeah, yeah. They both have to work on campus this weekend," she informed him.

"Okay. Well, as long as you're not there all by yourself."

She could hear the hint of worry in his voice. "No, I'm not. I'm fine, Dad, really. Everything's okay."

"Good. You're mom's not here right now, or I'd let her say hi. I just wanted to call and see if everything was all right."

"Yeah. It's fine."

"Okay. Well, then I guess I'll talk to you again soon, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Dad."

"Bye, Lizzie."

"Dad?" she said softly.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

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Maria DeLuca sighed as she re-shelved the books in the library. She usually didn't mind her job. But she missed her mom. She had really wanted to go home with Michael and Max and Isabel this weekend.

She glanced at her watch for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past half-hour. Right now it was late, and all she really wanted to do was go back to her room and get some sleep.

Sleep. A word that was unfamiliar to most college students, herself included most of the time. If she wasn't up studying for a test or writing a paper, Isabel was. Once in awhile, she'd go sleep in Liz's room, since Liz had a room to herself. But most of the time, Liz was up late like everyone else. How her best friend managed to get all A's and never sleep was beyond her realm of knowledge.

She didn't even know what she was going to major in. Sad, considering she was a sophomore in college. She barely made it grade-wise through her freshmen year. She still had no clue what she wanted to do the rest of her life. For all her friends, it was so simple. Max was studying biology, Isabel had decided on an English major, Michael an art major, and Alex a computer major. Liz, however, had surprised her a little.

Liz had chosen to major in psychology, instead of science, like she'd always planned. She wanted to help other victims of assault, which didn't surprise her, but Maria knew her friend loved biology. She had a feeling Liz had chosen the major because she felt it was her "duty." Not that she could say much. At least Liz had a major. But sometimes lately, Liz seemed really distant, maybe even a bit on the depressed side. Maria wasn't sure what was going on, and she was pretty sure Liz hadn't brought it up to any of their friends.

She was never quite sure why they'd all decided to go to school in Colorado. It was cold there a lot of the time, being in Blueridge, just a few miles outside of Denver. But the air was fresh, and the stars were bright. She had a feeling Michael, Isabel and Max had suggested Blueridge because it was just far enough away from Roswell to get away from the suspicions of Sheriff Valenti, but still within driving distance for a weekend at home. Liz had wanted to get out of Roswell just as bad as any of them, and Alex heard Blueridge had a great computer programming course. Maria, had, of course, just wanted to experience the real world.

Maria liked Blueridge University. It was quiet most of the time, relaxed, and there wasn't a huge crowd of students. In fact, she rarely passed someone on campus she couldn't recall seeing before, and nearly everyone said hi as they walked by. It was for the most part, a friendly college.

The guys in North, however, gave her the creeps.

They were known for prank calls, loud drinking parties, and of course, being an all guys dorm...well, to put it nicely, no one liked walking through that particular hall. She lived in Jewell hall with Isabel, next door to Liz. Alex lived on the guy's side of Jewell. Max and Michael, however, weren't able to get into Jewell, and instead lived across campus in Stoddard Hall. And the nice thing was, it was only a five minute walk across campus to get from Jewell to Stoddard and vice versa, so anytime she wanted to see Michael, she could be there in a short time.

Sometimes she couldn't believe they'd been together for four years. Not just her and Michael...the whole group. They'd been practically inseparable since the whole crisis with Liz's uncle when they were in high school. Once in awhile, Kyle drifted in and out of their little group. The tension between Max and Kyle had faded considerably over the years. And Kyle had been a good friend to Liz. He had stopped her uncle Charlie from hurting in the Crashdown one day. And even though none of them had told Kyle the truth about what had happened to Liz, she knew he suspected.

Kyle was a smart guy, and when it came down to it, he was a good one, too. She wondered how he was doing, and where he was going to school. The last time she'd heard, he'd been attending the University of New Mexico on a football scholarship.

"Hey, DeLuca!" her boss, Miranda shouted.

Maria turned around. "Yeah?"

Miranda pointed to the clock. "You were off ten minutes ago! Go home and get some sleep!"

She smiled and waved. "Gotcha. Thanks." Maria grabbed her backpack and headed out the front door. Since it was after ten, it was completly dark minus a few stars out. The moon wasn't visible, though. She sighed and started the short trek back to Jewell Hall. She thought she heard someone whisper behind her and she turned to look.

No one was there.

She shrugged, and picked up her pace a bit. Usually walking after dark on campus didn't bother her. But usually one of her friends was with her. Usually Michael.

She smiled as she thought about him. She wondered if he'd made it home safe. She hoped so. Just then, she heard the whispering again. "Is someone there?" she called, keeping her voice even and calm.

"M...a...r...i...a..."

Her eyes widened and she turned towards her dorm and took off as fast as she could.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Liz! Liz! Open up!"

Liz blinked and jumped off her bed, hurrying to the door. She unlocked it and swung it open, to find herself face to face with one of her best friends. "Maria! What's wrong?" she asked, worried.

"I think I was being followed," Maria breathed, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. She quickly locked it.

"What? By whom?"

"I don't know." Maria swallowed hard and closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath. "I ran the whole way from the library."

Liz stared at her. "Okay. Just take deep breaths and try to relax." She guided her friend over to the bottom bunk and Maria sat down. Liz grabbed her desk chair and sat directly across from her. "Why do you think you were being followed?"

"You know that creepy feeling you get when someone's watching you?" Maria asked.

Liz shivered, remembering how she'd felt that way just yesterday while she was taking a shower. "Yeah."

"That's what I felt. Then I swear I heard someone whisper my name."

She bit her lip. "Do you want to call Michael?"

Maria shook her head. "I don't want to worry him. There's nothing he can do anyway. It was probably just my imagination or something. I'm okay."

Liz just nodded.

"I am really tired, babe. I think I'm going to go get some sleep."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. See you for brunch?"

"You got it," Maria agreed. She walked slowly towards the door. "Hey, Liz?"

"Yeah?"

"This is going to sound stupid, but would you watch and make sure I make it my room? I know it's right next door, but..."

"It's not stupid," Liz assured her. "Yeah, no problem." She followed Maria to the door, and stood just outside her room as Maria unlocked the door to her room and swung it open, flipping on the light and glancing around inside.

"All clear," Maria assured her. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Liz replied. "Night, Maria."

"Night."

Maria closed the door behind her and Liz stepped back into her room, closing and locking her door immediately. Then she leaned against it for a moment. She shuddered involuntarily. She suddenly wished she hadn't opted for a room to herself this year. Sometimes having a roommate would definitely have its advantages.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex was an early riser. He had been for as long as he could remember. He loved to wake up before everyone else and enjoy the peace and quiet and watch the sun rise. Sometimes Liz would wake up early and join him outside. The others tended to sleep late most of the time. Michael and Maria, for instance, had refused to schedule any morning classes. Isabel's first class wasn't until ten, and Max's started at nine.

And unlike most people, Alex tended to be in a good mood, even if it was only five in the morning. Getting up that early refreshed and relaxed him. And there was no better time to get up and enjoy a sunrise than a Saturday morning. So when he had woken up that morning at 5:15, and looked out the window and saw it was pouring down rain, he should have known it was going to be a bad day.

He had gotten up anyway, taken a shower and done some homework so he could spend the day with two of his best friends.

Most people at the university went home on the weekends. There were a few regulars who stayed--the six of them rarely made the six hour journey back to Roswell, for instance. Then of course, a few of the guys in North, who, most of the time didn't even leave their rooms to go to classes, also didn't leave their rooms on the weekends to go home, wherever home was. Then there were people on campus who got roped into staying because of their on-campus jobs. People like Maria. Other than those few, the campus was pretty much deserted by Friday evening.

Alex wondered if Isabel, Max and Michael had made it home okay. It was strange to not have hung out with them last night, or to think about not hanging out with them the coming evening. The six of them were almost always together. They had been since their sophomore year of high school. Not because they were forced to be, but because they needed one another. After everything that had happened with Sheriff Valenti, and the FBI, and then Liz's uncle...they became a family of sorts. Alex didn't want it any other way.

But even though the thought of being without their three "Czechoslovakian" friends was weird, he was kind of looking forward to having some time with just Liz and Maria.

And when he thought about it, he realized he needed some time with them. Maria had been a bit depressed lately because she couldn't figure out what she wanted to do with her life. And Liz...well, Liz had been kind of distant lately. He sensed that something was wrong, but anytime he asked her about it, she denied it. Maybe he could figure it out this weekend.

Alex stretched his arms above his head and looked up at the clock. It was 11:00. He'd have to head over to Liz and Maria's rooms soon. The cafeteria served brunch from 11:15 to noon, and dinner from 4-5, and if you missed a meal, and couldn't afford to order pizza, you were basically screwed for the day.

He stood up, glad that Todd had gone to basketball practice earlier. Todd Reyes was his roommate. He was a nice guy, but Alex just wasn't comfortable with anyone outside his five friends. He didn't fully trust anyone outside their group.

Alex grabbed his keys, locked his door behind him, and marvelled at the dead silence of the usually noisy hallway. Then he shook his head and left Jewell Hall East Lowers. He walked across the lobby, noting how silent it was, and pushed open the door to Jewell Hall West Lowers. Most of the girls had left for the weekend.

Alex reached Liz's door first. He knocked but got no answer. Must be at Maria's, he thought as he moved next door and knocked on it.

"Just a second," he heard Maria call. A second later, she pulled the door open. "Hey, Alex," she said.

"Hey."

"I'll be ready for brunch in a second." She picked up the hair dryer and a brush, brushing her hair as she dried it.

"Have you seen Liz?"

"What?" Maria shouted over the noise of the blow dryer.

"Liz! Have you seen her?"

Maria shook her head. "She's probably in her room."

"I knocked."

"What?"

Alex sighed as Maria turned the machine off. "I knocked. She didn't answer."

Maria frowned. "Try it again."

Alex stepped back into the hallway and walked next door. He knocked on the door, louder this time. "Liz?" he called.

A minute later, the door opened. And Alex stared. Liz was wearing an old, baggy grey sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. Half her hair was pulled into a ponytail, and the rest of it hung in limp tangles arond her face, which was at least three shades paler than usual. And her eyes looked...dull. "Liz?"

She blinked. "Hey."

"Are you okay?" he asked in concern.

"I didn't sleep well," she mumbled, yawning.

"Hey, are you ready to go to--" Maria stopped mid-sentence when she saw Liz. Her eyes widened. "Liz!"

"She didn't sleep well," Alex said quickly.

"Do I look that bad?" Liz said aloud, frowning.

"You just...look a little tired," he assured her. "We'll let you get dressed."

"Why don't you guys just...go to brunch without me?" she suggested. She motioned to her room. "I need to clean and do laundry, and I have a psych paper to work on..."

He shook his head. "You need to eat, Liz. It won't take that long."

"You know, I'm just--I'm not really hungry. Go on and go."

Alex and Maria exchanged a look. "Liz," Alex said gently, placing his hands on her shoulders. "We're not going without you. So, I'd suggest you get dressed while DeLuca and I are deciding on a new top ten list for my web site. We'll wait in her room."

Liz offered him a brief smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Okay," she agreed.

Alex stepped out of her room and she closed the door. He turned to look at Maria. "What's going on with her?" he whispered.

"I was hoping you knew. She's been really distant lately."

"So I've noticed." Alex chewed on his lower lip. "Has she said anything to Max?"

Maria shrugged. "I don't think so. Maybe she's just depressed because he left for the weekend."

"I don't think that's it. There's something wrong here, I feel it."

She sighed. "Well, what do we do? Any idea?"

"No," Alex said. "But I'll try and figure it out this afternoon."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But Alex didn't find out. Because after brunch, Liz headed directly back to her room to get some work done.

Alex and Maria exchanged a worried look and separated as she had gone to work and he had gone back to his room. He contemplated working ahead on his computer programming homework, but he didn't feel like it.

His eyes were drawn to the phone. After several long moments, he gave in and picked up the receiver and dialed a number. He smiled when the voice said, "Hello?"

"Hi," he said softly.

Isabel smiled at the sound of his voice. "Hi," she said back.

"How's Roswell? Did you guys make it back okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine, Alex. And Roswell's the same as ever. It's good to see Mom and Dad, though. And to be somewhere a bit...well, warmer," she said with a laugh.

"I bet. It's raining here."

She heard something in his voice that made her worry. "Alex? What is it?" she asked quietly.

He sighed. "It's Liz. I'm really worried about her."

Isabel waited for him to continue.

"She's been really distant lately. She's not sleeping well and she's just acting...well, not like herself."

"Have you talked to her?"

"I've tried. She denies anything is wrong." He sighed in frustration. "I want to help her. She's my friend, you know? But I can't help her if she won't talk to me."

"Alex," Isabel said quietly. "We've all been a little worried about Liz lately. You're right. She hasn't been acting like herself, even Max agrees. But I have a feeling if she's going to open up to anyone about...whatever is going on, it's going to be you."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, think about it. Before we all became friends, you are the only person Liz voluntarily told about what happened to her. So she obviously trusts you. Just give her some time," she advised.

He sighed. "Yeah, I guess," he agreed.

"Crap. Alex, I have to go. Mom's calling. She wants Max and Michael and I to go see a movie with her and Dad," she said apologetically.

"That's okay. Thanks, Is."

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I miss you," he said quietly, staring out the window at the rain.

Isabel's heart ached at the sad tone of his voice. "I miss you, too."

"Have fun at the movies and have a safe trip back, okay?"

"We will. Take care of Liz and Maria until we get back," she said softly.

"I will. Tell Max and Michael I said hi."

"All right. 'Bye, Alex."

"'Bye." Alex hung up the phone. He stared out the window for a long moment. Then he stood up and grabbed his keys. It was time to go have a talk with Liz.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"The winter here's cold and bitter  
It's chilled us to the bone  
We haven't seen the sun for weeks  
Too long, too far from home..."_

Liz lay in bed, staring up at the bottom of the top bunk, at the plastic stars that were stuck there. She didn't feel like cleaning or doing laundry or writing a paper. In fact, she didn't feel like doing anything at all. Period.

_"I feel just like I'm sinking  
And I claw for solid ground..."_

She heard the knock on the door and pulled herself out of bed with great effort, and walked towards it.

_"I'm pulled down by the undertow  
I never thought I could feel so low  
Oh, darkness, I feel like letting go..."_

Liz pulled open the door and then sighed when she saw who it was. "What are you doing here, Pete?"

"Well, it's just that, Tonya went home for the weekend, and I'm bored. So I thought I'd come over and hang out with you," Pete said, smiling.

"Thanks, but I'm really not in the mood for company." She started to close the door, but he stopped her by grabbing onto it. A wave of fear swept through her, and it dawned on her that she could be in real trouble. Maria was at work, and she was the only girl in West Lowers. Even if she screamed, no one would hear her.

"Why do you have to be like this?" he demanded, his eyes flashing.

"Be like what?" she asked, edging herself slowly towards the baseball bat she kept in the corner of her room.

"Stuck up. You think you're better than everyone else?"

"No."

"I'm just trying to be nice, and every time I even talk to you, you act like I'm a killer or something!" he accused, glaring at her.

Liz met his eyes with a steady gaze, keeping her fear under control. "You're going out with Tonya, and I doubt that she'd really want you to be talking to me."

"That's not the reason. I'm not the only one you don't talk to. You won't talk to anyone outside of your little group of friends. What's with that?"

"They're my best friends," she said simply.

"Yeah, well, you're a bunch of freaks, if you ask me."

"Nobody asked you," Alex said evenly, walking up behind him. Liz met his eyes over Pete's shoulders, and they communicated without speaking. "Pete, I think she wants you to leave her alone."

Pete turned to face him, glaring at him. "Who the hell do you people think you are?"

"Pete, leave now, or I'll call campus security," Liz warned, picking up her portable phone.

"She means it," Alex informed him.

"Stupid whore," Pete muttered.

Alex was not a violent person. In fact, the only times he'd ever been involved in fights before was when he was defending himself against the bullies back in junior high. He'd never actually instigated a fight before. But the words Pete muttered, and the stricken look on Liz's face were enough to make him snap. He grabbed Pete and slammed him up against the wall. "Don't you ever say that about her again, you stupid bastard!"

Liz grabbed his arm. "Alex!"

"I mean it. If you ever so much as come near her again, I will make you the sorriest son of a bitch that ever lived!" he said angrily. Pete just stared at him in shock.

"Alex, let him go!" Liz pleaded, increasing her grip on his arm.

Alex let go of Pete, who quickly took off down the hallway. Alex watched him, and then he turned to face Liz, who looked just as stunned as Pete had. "You okay?"

She nodded, still staring at him. "I can't believe you just did that."

The rage was still built up within him. "Yeah, well he deserved it. Nobody talks to my friends that way." He put his arm around her shoulders and followed as she lead him into her dorm room.

"Thanks, Alex," she said softly, sitting down on her bed.

_"I'm pulled down by the undertow  
I never thought I could feel so low  
Oh, darkness, I feel like letting go..."_

"Liz, what's going on?" he asked as he listened to the melancholy song.

Her eyes teared up. "I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "I just don't feel right, Alex."

He sat down next to her. "Tell me."

_"If all of the strength  
And all of the courage  
Come and lift me from this place  
I know I could love you much better than this..."_

"I just...I can't explain it. I just--I'm having the nightmares again." She swallowed hard and looked away.

Alex felt the breath catch in his throat. "About your uncle?"

She nodded and then stood up. "This shouldn't be happening. It was a long time ago. I should be over this by now."

"Liz, what happened to you...you never get over it. And you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Nothing that happened was your fault," he told her quietly.

Liz shook her head. "But why now? I mean, I haven't dreamt about this for almost four years, Alex. So why is it happening again now?"

Alex stood up and touched her arm. "I don't know, Liz. But it's okay. Your uncle can't hurt you anymore. I won't let him. Max and Michael and Isabel and Maria--we're all here for you. We won't let him hurt you again."

She looked up at him. "I know."

He put his arms around her. "Whatever it is that's bringing this up in your subconscious...we'll get through it, Liz. You're not alone."

She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I know I'm not. But thanks for reminding me."

He kissed the top of her head. "We'll be okay," he whispered, staring out the window at the rain. He thought he saw a figure standing out there, watching. He frowned and squinted to get a better look. But when he did, the figure was gone. Must be my imagination, he thought.

* * *

Michael glanced across the dinner table at Isabel and Max, who both ate their pizza in silence.

"So, Michael, how do you like your art classes?" Phillip Evans asked.

He looked up. "They're pretty cool. Painting is my main thing."

Diane Evans smiled at him. "I remember that dome that you painted back in high school. It was excellent."

"Thanks." Michael shifted in his seat, slightly uncomfortable. No matter how relaxed he was with Maria, Alex and Liz, anyone outside of his direct "family" made him a bit tense. Just being back in Roswell made him tense.

He'd driven past his old trailer, where he had once lived with Hank, but Hank had moved right after Michael left for college. He didn't really care, but sometimes he wondered what the old bastard was up to.

He looked across the table at Max, who had a worried, distant expression on his face. Michael kicked him under the table and Max looked up, startled. Michael frowned at him, but Max just shook his head slightly.

"How's Alex, hon?" Diane asked Isabel, who smiled.

"He's fine, Mom."

"He called this afternoon, didn't he?" Phillip asked her, glancing up from his slice of pepperoni pizza.

"Yeah, he wanted to make sure we made it here okay."

Diane smiled. "He's a fine young man."

Isabel blushed and focused her attention on picking off the green peppers that were on her pizza.

"Max, honey, how's Liz?"

Max looked up, once again startled out of his distant look. "Oh, um..."

"She's been a little stressed lately," Isabel answered for him.

Diane looked back and forth between her son and daughter. "Is she all right?"

"Yeah, she's okay. It's just--you know, Liz. She's trying to do everything all at once," Max lied.

Michael narrowed his eyes at him, but Max ignored him.

"Yeah, she was like that in high school, too," Isabel said quickly. "You know...work, honor's program, treasurer of the science club, yearbook staff..."

Diane smiled at them. "And how's Maria?" she asked Michael.

"Homesick," he answered honestly. "She really wanted to see her mom this weekend but she had to work at the library."

"I wish you kids weren't so far away," she said wistfully. "I miss having my children around." She reached over and touched Michael's arm. "All of them," she added.

Michael looked up at her and she smiled warmly at him. Then he smiled back.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"God, could this food be any grosser?" Maria moaned, picking up a forkful of limp, runny spaghetti and holding it up for Alex and Liz to see.

Liz made a face. "Whoever said high school food was bad obviously never ate here at Ding."

Ding was the nickname the students had given the rec hall when the college opened nearly ninety years ago, but no one really seemed to know why.

"I'd rather eat hospital food," Alex commented, looking down at the bowl of murky potato soup on his tray in front of him.

"No wonder everyone goes home on the weekends," Maria said, glancing around the nearly empty cafeteria.

"Yeah, to eat real food," Liz replied, picking at the soggy lettuce in her salad that had no salad dressing on it.

"Or to get treated for food poisoning," Alex said, pushing his tray away.

"Well, look who it is. The freaks of Blueridge U.," a voice behind Maria said.

They looked up to see one of Pete's friends, Alan Freedman standing there.

"Where are your other freak friends?" Alan demanded.

Alex rose to his feet. "Leave us alone, Freedman," he warned.

"Yeah, you're just so frightening, Whitman." He towered Alex by a good five inches.

Maria stood up and turned to face him. "Go away."

"What are you going to do about it?" he demanded, getting in her face.

Liz stood up before Alex had a chance to get around the table to him. "Don't touch her," Liz said darkly, her eyes blazing with anger.

Alan turned his attention to Liz. "Ooh. Are you feisty like your friend here?" he asked.

"Back off!" Alex growled.

"No. I want her to show me how feisty she can be," he said, grabbing her and pushing himself up against her. "You're a hot little number."

Liz felt his hardness pressed up against her. Suddenly she felt like she was going to be sick. "Do you remember what to do when a man says he wants you, Lizzie?" Uncle Charlie lowered his hand to her leg and it brushed over the inside of her thigh. Her eyes widened in horror and she struggled to break free of his grasp. "No!" she cried.

Alex yanked Freedman away from her. He spun around and punched Alex in the jaw, and Alex tumbled backwards.

Without warning, Maria grabbed her purse off the table and pulled out a mini-can of pepper spray. "If you want to be blind for the rest of your life, touch one of my friends again," she warned.

"You don't have the guts," Alan said, laughing darkly.

"Try me, fuckrag!" Maria said angrily, her eyes flashing. Alan glared at her, but Maria didn't back down. She held the can out in warning.

After a long moment, he moved away from them and left the cafeteria. Maria knelt down next to Alex, who was holding his jaw, a cut on his lip bleeding. "Alex, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." He looked around. "Where's Liz?"

Maria looked up. Liz was nowhere in sight. "I don't know." She stood up and helped Alex to his feet.

"Well, we'd better find her," Alex said quickly.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz leaned back against the stall of the girl's restroom in Ding, trying to catch her breath after she got sick. Tears and sweat mingled and slid down the side of her head. The room was spinning.

"So what? You've got a boyfriend and now you can't let any other man touch you?" he demanded. "I have news for you, Lizzie. That Max kid only wants your body."

"You're wrong," she said shakily. "Max doesn't see me that way."

He laughed, his eyes flashing. "Of course that's how he sees you. That's how every man sees you. He sees you just like everyone else, for the little whore that you are!"

Liz squeezed her eyes shut and fisted her hands, digging her nails into the palms of her hands. "Go away!" she whispered.

"Liz?" she heard Maria's tentative voice call from the doorway. "Are you in here?"

She took a deep breath and stood up, opened her eyes, and flushed the toiliet. She wiped her face with the back of her long-sleeved shirt. "Yeah." She unlocked the stall door and stepped out, going straight for the sinks. When she glanced down at her hands, she realized, with some horror, that they were both bleeding where she had dug her fingernails into them. She washed her hands quickly, biting back a wince, and grabbed a paper towel.

"Are you all right?" Maria asked in concern.

"Yeah, sorry. I just..." She didn't know how to finish her sentence.

Maria stepped forward and hugged her. "It's okay. You don't have to try and explain it."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Let's go back to Jewell, okay?"

"Yeah." Liz followed her out of the room, and met up with Alex outside. He searched her eyes and without a word, he moved to her side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She looked at him gratefully, and then the three of them walked back to their dorm together.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz lay awake, staring at the stars on the bottom of the top bunk bed. She heard a soft tapping sound and she frowned. It stopped. She sighed and turned over in her bed, staring at the wall of pictures she had tacked up. The tapping started again. Liz sat up and looked around the dark room.

"What is it?" she wondered aloud. She looked at her alarm clock. It was 11:21. She could hear the distant sound of loud music playing from North. She and Maria were in the only ones in their hall, except a senior who lived in the first room of the hall, Alyssa.

The tapping sound continued. Liz couldn't even figure out where the damned noise was coming from. She crawled out of bed and pushed the curtains open. There was no one outside her room. She listened closely, but she still couldn't pinpoint where the sound was being made. She slowly moved towards the door, her feet padding across the thin carpet.

She unlocked the door as quietly as she could, reaching for the baseball bat next to the door. She turned the handle slowly and pulled the door open, only to find a figure waiting there. Liz screamed and jumped back.

Maria screamed and jumped back.

They both gasped for breath and stared at one another. Then, in unison, "Did you hear that tapping sound?"

Their eyes widened. "Can I stay in here with you?" Maria asked quickly, shivering.

"Please," Liz answered.

"Let me grab my pillow and blanket," she said quickly, running next door and throwing the door open.

Liz stood in the dimly-lit hallway, looking up and down the corridor, which was dead silent. A second later, Maria hurried out of her room, locking the door, and carrying her pillows and blankets and her teddy bear her mom gave her back in fourth grade. Liz ushered her inside and quickly closed and locked the door.

"What do you think that sound was?" Maria asked.

"I don't know. Probably just mice or something. No one else is here," Liz said, trying to calm her racing heart.

"Mice. You're right. Probably in the walls, right?" she said nervously.

"Right."

"Okay." Maria tossed her pillows on the top bunk and climbed up. She settled herself under the covers and laid down. Liz swallowed hard and crawled back into bed. She closed her eyes, feeling a bit more relaxed knowing she wasn't alone in the room.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, music started blaring from her CD player. "You come out at night, that's when the energy comes, and the dark side's light, and the vampires roam..."

She sat up so fast she nearly hit her head on the top bunk. Maria did the same. "Liz," she said fearfully.

"Yeah?" Liz asked, staring at the player.

"Please tell me you just turned on the CD player."

"I was hoping you did," she answered, trembling.

Maria leapt off the top bunk and landed on her feet. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" She hugged her teddy bear as she crawled into Liz's bed beside her. "This is so freaky!"

Liz reached over and hit the 'off' button on her CD player.

Just then, they both heard the tapping noise again. Liz looked at Maria, her eyes wide with fear. Maria looked at Liz, her eyes mirroring the same terror. "That's it. I'm calling Alex," Maria said, reaching for Liz's telephone. She quickly dialed the number.

On the fourth ring, someone picked up. "Hello?" the sleepy voice mumbled.

"Todd, I need to talk to Alex!"

"Whitman. Phone. It's one of your girlfriends."

A second later, she heard Alex's voice. "Maria?"

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Because you're the only one who would call me at 11:30 at night," he responded, yawning. "What's going on?"

"We need you to come over here, like, right now! Please," she added.

"Why? What happened?"

Maria looked at Liz, who was watching her, and shaking slightly. "Because! Please, just come over!" she begged.

"I'll be right there." He hung up.

Maria hung up Liz's phone. "He's on the way."

Liz just nodded as she looked around the darkened room. "It's freezing in here." She wrapped her blanket around her tightly. Maria did the same, both of them leaning against the wall. They sat in silence. After what seemed like an eternity, there was a knock on the door.

Maria leapt up from the bed and rushed to it. "Alex?"

"Yeah, it's me." She unlocked the door and pulled it open to let him in. He stepped inside, looking from Maria's scared face to Liz's. "What's going on?"

"We've been hearing weird noises, and Liz's c.d. player started playing on its own."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Right. Okay, when you want to stop pulling the old sixth grade joke, let me know." He headed for the door.

Maria blocked his path. "Alex!"

"She's telling the truth," Liz said quietly from across the room.

He turned to look back at her. He frowned. "Okay, this building's really old. You're probably hearing mice or termites or something, and...maybe you forgot you programmed your CD player."

"Liz's CD player is old. It doesn't have programming on it," Maria informed him, shivering. "And, I don't know of any termites that tap on the walls."

"CD players don't turn themselves on," Alex pointed out to her.

"This one did," she answered darkly.

Alex turned to look at Liz. Her legs were pulled to her chest and her knees were tucked under her chin. She was shaking. "Okay, what do you want me to do?" he asked.

"Stay here with us," Maria said quickly.

"Please," Liz added so softly he could barely hear her.

He looked from Maria to Liz and then sighed slightly. "Okay. I'll stay."

Maria sighed in relief and then crawled back up on the top bunk and under the covers. She pulled them over her head.

Alex stared at her for a moment and then sat down on the edge of Liz's bed. "You okay?" he asked.

She nodded slightly, but didn't move from her defensive position.

Alex scooted back on the bed so his back was leaning against the wall like hers was. When he looked over at her, he saw tears on her face. "Liz?" He moved closer to her. "Hey, it's okay. You're safe," he whispered.

"I'm scared, Alex," she whispered back.

"I know you are. That's why I'm here, remember?" He opened his arms to her and she moved slowly until he was holding her. He could feel her trembling. "It's okay, Liz. The others will be back tomorrow and everything will be okay."

"I hope so," she whispered.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max sat up, gasping for breath. He looked at his bedside clock. It read 11:35.

"Max?" Michael asked, sitting up on his sleeping bag. "What is it?"

"Nightmare," Max answered, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"About?"

"I don't know. It was confusing." He swallowed hard and shook his head. "Michael, I want to leave earlier tomorrow."

Michael peered at his friend through the darkness. "Okay."

"Okay," Max repeated. He laid back against his pillow. But it was a long time before he got back to sleep.

* * *

"I don't understand why you have to leave so early," Diane Evans said with a sigh as she walked her sons and daughter out to the jeep the next morning.

Isabel glanced at Michael, then at Max, whose eyes reflected deep worry. She hugged her mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Would you mind if we came back next weekend?" She knew it wasn't practical, but she was homesick.

Diane smiled. "You're welcome anytime. All three of you." She kissed Max on the cheek, and then Michael, too, much to his surprise. "Do me a favor and call me and let me know you made it safely?"

"Sure, Mom," Isabel promised. She hugged her dad. "Bye, Daddy."

Phillip kissed her forehead and hugged his son. He shook Michael's hand. "Bye."

"Bye," Michael said as he climbed into the back seat. Isabel moved to the passenger's side.Max climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. "Bye."

Diane waved as they drove away. Then she sighed as her husband put his arms around her. "They'll be back," he said reassuringly.

She nodded, staring into the direction they'd driven away to. "I know. I just...something feels wrong, Phillip. I'm not sure what it is, but I think they're in danger."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria woke up, squinting against the soft lamp light shining from Liz's desk. She lifted her head off Alex's shoulder, where she'd fallen asleep the previous night. Alex was still asleep, as was Liz, whose head was on his other shoulder. One of his arms was looped around Liz, and the other around Maria.

Maria blinked and looked at the clock on Liz's bed stand. It was 7:16, and she could tell by what little amount of light was coming through the blinds that it was going to be another dreary day.

Why the hell is it so bright in here? she wondered.

She closed her eyes and then opened them again. Her gaze was drawn back to Liz's desk. The lamp was on. She was certain it hadn't been on before she'd fallen asleep. And since she'd fallen asleep on Alex's shoulder, and so had Liz, neither one of them could have turned it on without waking her up. She sat straight up on the bed, staring at the light. "What the hell?" she said aloud.

She heard Alex groan and she turned to look at him. He was slowly opening his eyes and squinting at her. "What is it?" he mumbled.

"The light's on."

"So." Alex closed his eyes again, resting his head back against the wall so he didn't disturb Liz.

"So, Alex, it wasn't on before we fell asleep last night!"

"Shh! You're going to wake her up," he whispered, glancing down at his friend. He looked at the lamp on Liz's desk.

"What's your rational explanation for this one?" she demanded in a hushed voice.

"We're all still asleep and having a really weird, boring dream," he said, closing his eyes.

Maria glared at him. "Alex, this is serious!"

He sighed. "I don't know, okay? I don't have the answers to everything."

"This is seriously freaky!" Maria stood up and started to pace back and forth in her kitten t-shirt and black sweatpants.

"Okay, look. The others will be back soon. Just keep calm until then."

Maria met his gaze. "You're right. Keep calm. Stay calm. I need some cedar oil!" She rushed to the door, unlocked it, and disappeared.

Alex sighed again, shook his head, and hoped that Isabel, Michael and Max made it back really soon before anyone went insane.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Max, are you okay?" Isabel asked in concern as she looked over at her brother.

"Yeah, why?" he asked absently, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Because if you squeeze the steering wheel any tighter, it's going to break."

Max blinked and looked down at his hands. His knuckles were completely white. "Oh. Sorry." He loosened his grip on the wheel a bit. He stared straight ahead again.

Isabel turned to look at Michael, who raised an eyebrow at her. He shrugged. "What's going on, Maxwell?"

Max glanced in the rearview mirror and their eyes met for a moment. "I'm just...worried. That's all."

"Well, I hate to tell you, but that's already pretty obvious," Isabel informed him. There was a long moment of silence between them. She looked out the window and listened to the howling wind of the approaching storm.

"I'm worried about Liz," Max said finally.

Michael and Isabel exchanged another look. "So is Alex."

Max turned his head to look at her. "What did he say?"

"Just that...she was acting strangely. That's all. Which is something we've all noticed."

He sighed and turned his eyes back to the road. "I just feel like I need to be there now."

Michael leaned forward and nodded. "Then let's get there." The three of them exchanged worried looks and Max sped up the jeep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz stirred and opened her eyes awhile later. Alex glanced down at her. "Hey."

She blinked and looked up at him. "Hi." She lifted her head off his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You couldn't have gotten much sleep last night sitting up like that."

He grinned at her. "Have you forgotten that you and DeLuca once dared me to sleep on your concrete roof without any pillows or blankets?" Liz laughed out loud. Alex smiled wider. He hadn't heard her laugh like that in a long time.

"Yeah, but I didn't mean to use you as a head-rest."

"Well, that's what I'm here for. Guardian of the Three Musketeers. Defender of Czechoslovakians. Pillow."

She laughed again, and gave him a quick hug. "Did I ever tell you that you're one of the best friends anyone could ever have?"

He grinned. "Yeah, but I don't mind hearing it as often as you'd like to say it." He stood up and stretched his arms above his head.

"Where's Maria?" Liz asked suddenly, glancing around. She pointed to the top bunk and gave him a questioning look.

"She went next door to get some cedar oil."

Liz raised an eyebrow. "Dare I ask why?"

Alex glanced over at the lighted lamp, and then back at Liz. "Nope."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria scrounged up all of the quarters she could find and stuffed them into her jeans pocket. She tossed her copy of Jane Eyre by Charloette Bronte onto the top of the pile of clothes in her clothes basket and grabbed her keys. If she didn't do laundry that very day, she would literally run out of things to wear.

The cedar oil had helped to calm her nerves. Alex was right. She was probably just over-reacting. There was no way that anyone could have gotten into Liz's room to turn on a lamp. The window and the door had both been locked. One of them must have turned it one and not remembered. That was the only explanation.

She suppressed a yawn as she picked up the heaping basket and bottle of Tide. She stumbled down the long hallway and towards the stairs, hoping she didn't fall on the concrete. She finally made it down to the poorly lighted laundry room. She located an empty washing machine and sorted her darks and her whites. She dumped the darks into the machine and poured in the Tide.

Then she hoisted herself up until she was sitting on top of the dryer with Jane Eyre, squinting to see the words in the semi-darkness. She had to get this reading done or she would fail the quiz tomorrow. And she had to stay with her laundry, because Jewell Hall had problems with the laundry room at the beginning of the year. People would start their laundry washing or drying, and leave to go somewhere else until it was finished. Unfortunately some asshole would come along and take out the person's clothes and replace them with their own and leave the other person's wet clothes laying in a pile on the dirty floor. Maria refused to leave the laundry room unattended after it had happened to her once.

Maria took in a deep breath, wrinkling her nose at the musty, mold smell and shivering from the chilliness of the basement. She pulled the book closer to her and began to read.

_"But it was not fated that I should sleep that night. A dream had scarcely approached my ear, when it fled affrighted, scared by a marrow-freezing incident enough. This was a demoniac laugh--low, suppressed, and deep--uttered, as it seemed, at the very key-hole of my chamber door..."_

Maria heard the creak on the stairs and jerked her head up, glancing around the small, darkened room. She listened carefully, but didn't hear anything and went back to reading, chewing on her lower lip anxiously.

_"The head of my bed was near the door, and I thought at first the goblin-laughter stood at my bedside--or rather, crouched by my pillow: but I rose, looked round, and could see nothing; while, as I still gazed, the unnatural sound was reiterated: and I knew it came from behind the panels..."_

She heard the creak again, and swallowed hard. "L--Lizzie?" she ventured.

No one answered.

"I'm losing my mind," she said aloud, closing her eyes briefly. "Okay. Focus on the book, Maria."

_"My first impulse was to rise and fasten the bolt; my next again, to cry out, 'Who is there?' Something gurgled and moaned. Ere long, steps retreated up the gallery towards the third story staircase: a door had lately been made to shut in that staircase; I heard it open and close, and all was still..."_

This time it was footsteps she heard. The book. It's the book. You're reading a scary part. No one's here, she told herself. She started to shut the book when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Maria quickly shut her eyes and took a deep breath. And when she opened her eyes, a figure was standing in front of her, reaching for her.

Maria screamed.

* * *

Liz stretched her arms above her head and carried the container of microwavable macaroni and cheese out the door, down the hallway, and out into the lobby of Jewell Hall, where the dorm's microwave was located. The students weren't allowed to have microwaves in there room because it was too much of a fire hazard.

Liz didn't really care for the macaroni and cheese stuff, but she wasn't in the mood to try and choke down any of the food at Ding, either. She plopped the container in the microwave and set the timer for a minute.

She heard a scream in the distance, and she froze. A second later, Maria came bounding up the laundry room stairs. "Maria! What's wrong?" she asked, alarmed.

"Something's down there!" Maria gasped, pointing.

"What? Rats?"

"No...Someone!"

Liz frowned. "Who?"

"I don't know. They disappeared."

"They?"

"He...She...It--I don't know, but I'm not going back down there."

Liz jumped as the microwave beeped. She turned and removed the container.

"Liz! Oh, my God! You're bleeding!" Maria rushed to her side.

Liz looked down at her hands. One of her fingernail cuts on the palm of her right hand had started bleeding. "Damn." She moved to the sink, wincing as the water hit the wound.

"I'm getting Alex."

Before Liz had a chance to protest, Maria disappeared into Jewell Hall East Lowers. She sighed and reached up to grab a paper towel, quickly realizing the paper towel holder was empty. A second later, Alex and Maria were both at her side.

Alex took her hand gently. "Maria, can you hand me the peroxide and a q-tip?" Maria handed them to him and he glanced at Liz. "This will probably sting," he warned her.

Liz nodded and bit down on her lip as Alex brushed the q-tip over her cut. She winced.

"Sorry," he said softly. "Maria, can you hand me the wrap, please?" Maria handed it over dutifully. Alex gently wound the ace bandage around her hand. "Are you okay?" he asked in concern.

Liz met his eyes. "I'm okay, Alex."

"Good. Because if anything happened to you or DeLuca, Max and Michael would kill me." He grinned.

She knew it was a joke, but she touched his arm. "Alex, you're the best guardian for the Three Musketeers," she said quietly.

Maria nodded in agreement. "We were really freaked last night, Alex. Thanks for taking care of us."

Alex looked from Liz to Maria, and then back to Liz. "I'm here for you guys. No matter what." He draped an arm around Liz, and the other around Maria.

"So, then, you'll come down with me to wait for my laundry to get done?" Maria asked, giving him a sideways glance.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Did I say no matter what?"

Liz couldn't suppress a giggle. "Yes, my friend, you did." She looked at Maria, who grinned.

Alex gave a sarcastic sigh. "All right, all right. You coming with us, Parker?"

She shook her head. "I have to clean my room."

"Have fun with that, Lizzie," Maria teased.

Liz rolled her eyes. "Right."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz finished her macaroni and cheese and walked back towards her room. She paused outside her door and turned to face the door directly across from hers.

Room 202.

No one lived there. In fact, half of the rooms on Jewell Hall West Lowers were empty. Past Maria and Isabel's room, all of the rooms were unoccupied. And the rooms directly across from their's, Liz's, and Tonya's were unoccupied, too.

Jewell wasn't the most popular dorm. It was a non-alcoholic dorm, even if you were 21 or over. Mostly the dorm consisted of freshmen, but after one year in Butler Hall last year, no one wanted to live there again. Butler was overrun with mice, and roaches.

All six of them had tried to get into Jewell, but there was only one room left for one person on the guy's side, and since Max and Michael roomed together, Alex had the honor of becoming Todd's roommate.

It was just safer that way. There was no chance that a roommate could walk in while Max or Michael were using their powers, or discussing their heritage.

Isabel had chosen to room with Maria because they had similar sleeping habits. They both tended to sleep late, while Liz tended to stay up late and get up early.

Liz studied the door to Room 202. She frowned as she realized there was no door knob. She touched the wood surface with her un-bandaged hand, and then pulled away quickly. The door was like ice.

Liz shuddered and turned away, digging her keys out of her jeans pocket. She unlocked her dorm room and stepped inside. She saw the red light flashing on her answering machine. She hit 'play.'

"Hi, this is Liz. I'm not in right now, but if you'll leave your name and number and a brief message, I'll get back to you."

Beep.

"You stupid, fucking whore!"

Click. Beep.

"End of messages."

Liz's eyes widened, her mouth hanging open. She flipped the blinds up so she could see out. The clouds were darkening and slowly moving overhead.

Who would leave her such a nasty message? Alan? Pete? She wasn't sure, but she hoped that Max got back before it started storming. She shivered and wrapped her warm blue blanket tightly around her, staring outside.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria shivered and tapped her foot on the floor as she waited for her clothes to finish washing so she could throw them in the dryer.

"So you thought someone was down here?" Alex asked, glancing around the darkened room.

"Alex, someone was standing right in front of me."

"People don't just disappear, Maria," he pointed out.

"You're right. People don't."

He paused. "There's no such things as ghosts."

Maria looked at him with a smirk. "You said the same thing about aliens once."

She had him there. "Well, look, none of us got much sleep last night, and we're all tired--"

"Doesn't account for the tapping noises Liz and I heard last night, or the fact that her Sarah McLachlan cd started playing on its own, or why the lamp was on when we woke up this morning."

"None of which I was a witness to."

"Are you saying you think we lied?"

"Of course not. I'm just saying maybe your imagination is playing tricks on you."

Maria sighed. "Let's just agree to disagree...For now."

"Okay," he agreed.

Maria looked at him. "Does it hurt?"

Alex frowned, and touched his lip. "Not much."

"God help Alan Freedman when Max, Michael and Isabel get back," she said seriously.

"Yeah."

There was a moment of silence. "I'm really worried about Lizzie."

He nodded. "That makes two of us."

"What happened to her hand, Alex?"

"I don't know, Maria."

She sighed as the washing machine stopped. She tossed her jeans in the dryer and hung up her shirts on hangers on the flimsy clothesline. She dumped the basket of white clothes into the wash, and put the quarters in, along with some more Tide.

Alex caught sight of something on the floor. He stooped down to pick it up, and he examined it closely. "Maria?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't have a heart necklace pendant, do you?" He was pretty sure she didn't. He couldn't remember seeing her wear one.

"No. Why?" He held it out for her to see. Maria looked at it. "Looks old. An antique, maybe."

"It's not Liz's either, is it?"

"I don't think so," Maria said, shaking her head slowly. She took it from him and stuck it in her pocket. "But I'll ask her about it later."

"Man, I'm hungry," he said.

Maria nodded in agreement. "But not for Ding food."

"Definitely not for Ding food." He thought for a moment. "I think I have a couple of dollars. Maybe among the three of us we can scrounge together enough to order a pizza from Little Italy's?"

"I just used all my money on laundry," she said with a sigh.

"We could go begging from door to door," he said with a grin.

Maria rolled her eyes. "That only worked when we were ten."

"We were eleven. Sixth grade," he reminded her. "And it did work."

"Yeah, because you said your mother was in the hospital and the three of us were staying home alone and had nothing to eat."

Alex laughed at the memory.

"It was our parents fault. They wouldn't let us go to the arcade."

He laughed again. "Yeah, God forbid we didn't get to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the Arcade game for one day."

"Yeah, but it's kind of ironic that now that we really do need money for food, we're too old to go begging for it and have it work. Must be karma," Maria mused.

"Yeah, or maybe we're just like every other poor college student in America. No wonder there's a lack of college-bound high schoolers."

"Lack of money?"

"No. The food sucks."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even from three doors down, Max could hear the music blaring from Liz's CD player. He stopped outside her room and turned to look at the room across the hall. Room 202. He frowned and then turned back to Liz's room.

He could hear the vacuum cleaner running, and he knew she'd never hear him knock, so he reached for the door handle, and turned it, pushing the door open slightly.

He stood in the door frame, watching her for a moment. She was faced away from him, singing along with Jewel while she vaccumed.

_"Barcelona  
Where the winds all blew  
And the churches don't have windows  
But the graveyards do  
Me and my shadow are wrestling again  
Look out stranger, there's a dark cloud moving in..."_

Liz swept the carpet under her window, concentrating on the music. She'd taken the bandage off her hand so she could grip the sweeper easier.

_"But if you could hear the voice in my heart  
It would tell you, I'm afraid I am alone  
Won't somebody please hold me, release me, show me  
The meaning of mercy, let me loose  
Fly  
Let me fly  
Let me fly..."_

Max stared at her as she sang along so passionately.

_"Super paranoid  
I'm blending, I'm blurring, I'm bleeding  
Into the scenery  
Loving someone else is always so much easier  
But I hold myself hostage in the mirror  
But if you could hear the voice in my heart  
It would tell you, I'm tired of feeling this way..."_

Liz's eyes stung with tears. She was tired of feeling this way, of feeling like she was running from everything that went wrong, but she felt so powerless to change it. She couldn't force herself to feel differently. She was trapped.

_"God, won't you please  
Hold me, release me, show me  
The meaning of mercy  
Let me fly  
Let me fly..."_

Max couldn't take it anymore. He stepped inside her room and shut the door behind him. He walked up behind her and shut off the sweeper. Liz screamed and spun around, her eyes filled with terror. He put his hands on her shoulders. "God, Liz, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

She nodded and swallowed hard, forcing herself to breathe. "I didn't mean to...scream at you. Sorry."

"It's okay. Are you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He didn't buy it for one minute. He wrapped his arms around her. "I know you better than that, Liz."

"I just missed you, Max," she whispered against him, burying her face in his shoulder. She wasn't ready to tell him she was having nightmares about her uncle again. She wasn't ready, and she didn't want to bring up that part of her life again. It made Max feel bad and there wasn't a reason to do it. She could handle it on her own.

Max pulled away and studied her. He reached out and took her hands in his, squeezing them gently. When she winced, he frowned and brought her hands up so he could look at them. He flinched at the sight of the angry red marks. Then he gently brought the palm of her right hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

An image of Liz, Alex, and Maria huddled together asleep flashed through his mind.

The mark disappeared. He brought her other hand to his lips.

An image of Alex cleaning and bandaging the wound flashed into his brain.

That mark disappeared as well.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Max gazed into her eyes, frowning. "What happened this weekend, Liz?"

* * *

Before Liz had a chance to respond to Max's question, her telephone rang. She turned around and picked it up as Max waited. "Hello?"

There was no answer.

"Hello?" she said again. She listened carefully. She could hear breathing on the other end of the line, but whoever it was remained silent. Liz sighed and clicked the phone off, turning to face Max again.

He studied her. "Everything okay?"

"Wrong number," she told him, shaking her head. There was a moment of silence, and then Liz looked at him. "Max, why did you come back early?" she asked curiously. Not that she minded, she just thought he wanted to spend time with his family.

Max hesitated. Then he smiled at her. "I can't stand being away from you." She smiled back. Then she hugged him again. He brought one hand up to rest against the back of her head, holding her close to him and breathing in the scent of her hair. If anything had happened to her while he was gone...Max shuddered at the thought and held her a bit tighter.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, why did you decide to be a computer major?" Maria asked Alex as she dumped the rest of her clothes out of the dryer and into her laundry basket.

Alex shrugged as he leaned forward against the washing machine. "I guess because I'm good at it."

"Yeah, but, I mean, do you like it?" she asked, glancing at him briefly.

He frowned. "I don't know. It's all right. I feel like I pretty much know how to do all the stuff we've done in my classes so far. Why?"

Maria sighed. "Just wondering." She was about to say something else when she felt a presence behind her. She whirled around, a big smile on her face as she saw Michael and Isabel standing there, waiting to be noticed. Michael grinned at her as she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. "You're back early!"

Alex hadn't turned around. He had been dreading this moment since the previous night when the bruise on his jaw had started becoming visible. He didn't want to know what Isabel, Michael, and especially Max's reactions would be when they found out what had happened.

"Alex?" Isabel said, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. This wasn't like him. Usually he was thrilled to see her, and vice versa. She walked up behind him and touched his shoulder. He paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and turned to face her. Isabel's eyes widened. "Oh, my God, Alex! What happened?"

He met her eyes for a second, then looked past her to Maria and Michael, meeting Maria's eyes for a second, too, and noting that she had the same nervous look in her expression. Michael's eyes narrowed as he saw the black and blue mark on his friend's face. He turned his attention back to Isabel, whose face reflected worry and concern. "I'm okay, Iz," he said quickly.

Michael glanced from Alex to Maria. "Okay. What the hell happened while we were gone?"

Maria swallowed nervously. "Um...."

"You guys know Alan Freedman, right?" Alex said finally.

"Yeah," Isabel said slowly.

"He was sort of...harassing us last night, and he grabbed Liz, and when I went to pull him away from her, he turned and punched me in the jaw and then Maria pulled out her can of pepper spray and threatened him with it."

Isabel and Michael stared at him in silence for a long moment. Maria could see the anger growing on Michael's face, and she grabbed his arm. "Michael, promise me you're not going to do anything!" she pleaded.

Isabel counted silently to ten to try and get a lid on her temper. She had mellowed out in high school and had stopped portraying herself to be the bitter popular girl that everyone thought she was. In fact, she rarely lost her temper at all, and had become about as laid back as Alex. But like Alex, when it came to her friends, Isabel was a force to be reckoned with.

"Iz, it's okay," Alex said quickly, recognizing the look in her eyes. "Really."

She reached out and touched his jaw, healing the bruise. "Okay," she agreed. She turned to Michael, who looked as angry as she felt, but was trying to stay calm for Maria's sake. Their eyes met.

"Um, I hate to say this, guys, but I'm not so sure that Liz is planning on telling Max what happened..." Alex's voice trailed off.

Isabel nodded quickly. "If she doesn't tell him, we can't either. If he knew that Alan had touched Liz in anyway--"

"He'd kill him," Michael finished, nodding. He didn't like keeping things from Max, but when it came to his best friend protecting Liz, Michael knew that Max would do anything. And it wasn't going to be necessary, because Michael would take care of Freedman himself. No one threatened his family and got by with it.


	3. Chapter 3

Isabel Evans was furious. She'd done a good job of keeping her mouth shut around the others about what had happened with Alan that weekend, but now they were all at dinner. And now she was going to make sure Alan Freedman knew just how much of a bitch Isabel could be when she had to be.

She had told her friends she was going to stay behind and catch up on homework and do some unpacking. Alex had looked worried. Sometimes he knew her as well as he knew himself. She had a feeling he knew that she was going to be paying Freedman a visit. But knowing her as well as he did, he probably also figured that trying to talk her out of it would be useless. Because one way or another, Isabel always got her way. Especially when it came to protecting those she loved.

Isabel took a deep breath and reached up and knocked on Freedman's door, North Hall room 121. She hated this dorm, but she hated the person who lived on the other side of the door even more. She waited impatiently until the door opened.

Alan gave her the once over, twice. "Well, hello."

She narrowed her eyes and took a step forward, pointing at him. "You're an idiot, Alan," she said, glaring at him with cold, angry eyes. "You know why you're an idiot?" She took another step towards him, and he immediately backed away. "You're an idiot because this weekend you made the stupid mistake of messing with some friends of mine."

A look of recognition crossed over his face. "Why do you hang out with those losers?"

Though he thought it was impossible, her eyes grew colder, darker. "The only loser on this campus is you. And I'm here to warn you that if you ever go near any of them ever again, I am going to make you sorry."

Alan smirked. She might look mean, but she was still a girl, and he was bigger than she was. "Why don't you lose the attitude and maybe we can have some fun?" he suggested. Then he made another mistake. He reached out and touched her arm.

Isabel lost it. She grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, hard, and then shoved him up against the wall so his face was smashed up against it. "I'd rather break your arm," she snarled. "Now I want to hear you say you're going to leave my friends alone."

He mumbled something incoherently. She twisted his arm a bit harder. "I can't hear you!" she said angrily.

"I'll leave them alone! Shit! Let me go!"

Isabel shoved him hard and released his arm. She headed towards the door. She looked over her shoulder, and he was staring at her, and rubbing his arm, his face a mixture of shock and pain.

"Have a nice day!" she called.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max watched them during dinner at Ding that night. Liz was quiet, as she had been the past few weeks, and even Alex and Michael only made occasional comments on how much the food sucked, instead of talking like they usually did. Maria, however, was the one who worried him. Usually she talked non-stop, and now she hadn't said more than two words all evening.

He sighed and leaned back in his seat, studying each of them. Maria was staring at her salad bowl, bringing each bite to her mouth quietly, not even talking about how the lettuce she was eating was starting to turn brown.

Alex kept his eyes on his plate, with an occasional glance at Liz, and to the empty seat where Isabel would have been sitting if she'd come to dinner. A flicker of worry remained ever-present on his face.

Michael looked a cross between angry and worried, and he too, kept glancing at Isabel's empty chair and then at Liz and then Maria, and occasionally at Alex, but avoiding Max's eyes the whole time.

And Liz. Liz didn't look up even once during dinner. She kept her head down, focused on eating the watered-down chicken soup that set before her. It didn't appear as if she was even aware that anyone was around her. She looked lost in her thoughts, a troubled expression on her face.

What the hell was going on? Something seemed to be bothering everyone, but no one was letting him onto the big secret. He remembered a few years ago, when they were back in Roswell. How everyone had known about what happened to Liz except for him until she broke down and told him what her uncle had done to her. But after that, the six of them had gotten so close. They went everywhere together, did everything together, and they never kept secrets from one another.

Max felt like he was back in high school, and the only one without a clue was him. He didn't like it. If something was bothering his friends, if something was wrong, he needed to know so he could help. But right now he just felt frustrated.

"What's going on?" he asked, glancing around the table. No one would look at him. He set his jaw. "Look, none of you are ever this quiet. I know something's wrong, and I want to know what it is."

Maria shot Michael a nervous look across the table, and Alex glanced at Liz again. She didn't look up. "We're all just tired from the weekend," Maria said quickly, avoiding his eyes. She turned her attention right back to her salad.

Max looked at Michael expectantly. "Michael?"

Michael shrugged. "It was a long trip back from Roswell."

Max stood up and grabbed his tray. "Look, I don't know what's going on here, but it seems like I'm the only one being left out. What happened to 'no more secrets?'" he asked, starting to get angry. "You know, I know when something's wrong. How long are you all going to keep on denying it?"

When no one answered him, Max took his tray to the kitchen and stormed out of the cafeteria.

The remaining four finished dinner in complete silence. Finally, Maria stood up, picking up her tray. "I have to get to work."

"I'll walk with you," Michael volunteered, rising to his feet. He glanced down at Alex, who just nodded his head. Michael followed Maria out of the cafeteria.

Alex waited patiently as Liz finished her chicken soup. Then wordlessly, they both got up, turned in their trays and walked outside. Alex glanced up at the darkened sky. It was ominous, with low-hanging greenish-gray clouds that looked like they could open up at any given second and drown them.

For a moment they walked in silence. Then he looked over at her. "Liz."

"Yeah?" She looked straight ahead of her.

"Have you mentioned to anyone else about the nightmares?"

Liz looked over at him, a stricken expression on her face. "No."

"Why not?" he asked quietly.

"Because what's the point?" she asked rhetorically.

"The point is you're having nightmares, and it's effecting what you do." He stopped and faced her. "Liz, I'm saying this because you're my friend, okay? You haven't been yourself for a long time now. We're all worried about you. Everyone knows that something's wrong. It's only a matter of time before--"

Liz cut him off. "Before what, Alex? Before I have a nervous breakdown? Is that what you're worried about?" Before he had a chance to respond, she glared at him. "Don't worry. I won't waste anymore of your time, okay? I can deal with this alone." She turned on heel and walked away from him.

Alex stared after her in shock. Not once had Liz ever yelled at him. Never in their entire friendship. And she'd never walked out on him during a conversation, either. And now, within seconds, she'd done both.

He sighed as it started to rain and he hurried so he could keep an eye on Liz and make sure she made it back to Jewell Hall safely. But as he headed back towards his dorm, he had the distinct feeling that he was being watched.

* * *

Alyssa West sat cross-legged on her bottom bunk, bent over a notebook and her world religions text book. Her long, straight brown hair hung around her face like a curtain as she highlighted sections so she could write her paper.

After several long moments, she sat up and sighed, stretching her arms above her head. It felt like she'd been working on this paper for five hours.

Alyssa looked at the clock on her beside stand. 7:00 p.m. She had been working on this paper for five hours.

Time for a break, she thought. She pulled herself off her bed and grabbed a can of Pepsi out of her mini-fridge. She popped the top and took a long drink.

Alyssa set the can down and headed for her door, stepping out into the hallway, where someone immediately bumped into her.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," the girl apologized.

She looked to see who it was. She recognized the girl, but didn't know what her name was. What she did know was that the girl was crying. "It's okay. Are you?" she asked in concern.

The girl nodded. "I'm okay. Thanks."

Alyssa watched as the girl walked down the hall, unlocked a door a few rooms away, and disappeared inside. She paused in the hallway, her eyebrows furrowed. She didn't know the girl, but she had an overwhelming feeling that before the year was over, she would.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz pushed her face into her pillow to stifle her sobs. She had just yelled at one of the best friends she'd ever had, and for no real reason. And Max was upset with her now, too.

She had screwed up her friends' lives again. She was lying to them, telling everyone she was fine. She wasn't fine.

How had she gotten here?

Things had been hard when she'd first admitted to her friends that Uncle Charlie had abused her, but her friends had been very supportive. They'd protected her and taken care of her and had given her the strength to take care of herself.

But now...

Now she felt like she was falling apart. She knew she wasn't alone, but it felt like she was.

Liz was afraid every time she looked in the mirror because every time she did she appeared a bit more faded. She was terrified that one of these days she was going to look in the mirror and she wouldn't even be there anymore.

Bit by bit, she was losing herself.

And this time she feared that when she got lost, no one would be able to find her. Not her friends, and not even Max.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't know what's going on with her, Michael." Maria took a book off the roll cart and put it on the shelf in its place. "She's been like a zombie all weekend."

He leaned against one of the shelves, his expression unreadable. "Maybe that Alan guy's been harassing her more than we think."

She turned to look at him, her eyes wide. "Do you think that's it?"

"It's a theory."

"And she's afraid that one of us would kill him." Maria nodded. "That makes sense."

Michael took a deep breath. "I have a feeling that Isabel probably gave Alan a warning tonight."

"Yeah, I had that feeling, too." Maria re-shelved a few books that were in the wrong order.

"I think I'm going to re-enforce that warning."

"Michael--"

"Don't worry. I'm just going to mess with his mind a bit."

"You mean--?"

Michael gave her his famous half-grin. "He'll just be afraid to go to sleep for awhile, and it'll make him think twice about coming near any of us again. And maybe we'll get our friend back afterwards."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa tried to force herself to concentrate on writing her world religion's paper, but something kept pushing at the back of her mind, and she didn't know what it was.

Finally, she shoved aside her text book and notes and slid off her bed and onto the floor. She reached up and turned on her Enya C.D.

She pulled herself into sitting position and closed her eyes. She hadn't been able to meditate all week because she'd been so busy doing homework, writing papers, studying and working, she just hadn't had time. But now she knew she'd reached her mental limitations, and if she didn't restore her balance, she was going to be exhausted.

She took a deep breath and began relaxing the muscles in her tense body. Then she focused on the music. She felt herself releasing the pent-up frustrations she'd been holding inside and she imagined them disappearing into a bright burst of white flames.

Alyssa came out of the meditation smiling, but the second she stood up, her knees buckled and she landed on them, hard. She grimaced and closed her eyes again.

Something wasn't right.

She hoisted herself back up onto her bed and frowned. Waves of sadness began washing over her and she quickly laid down, closing her eyes.

She visualized herself being surrounded by walls of solid blackness, and the sadness bouncing off those walls. And a moment later she sat up, feeling mostly normal again.

"What the hell was that?" she wondered aloud.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max was staring at the ceiling in his dorm room, staring at the glowing stars that Liz had tacked up there for him, and wondering what the hell was going with his friends.

What had happened this weekend? Why wouldn't they talk to him?

_"...Waiting here for you  
Wanting to tell you..."_

For the past four years, the six of them had been a family. They never kept secrets from one another, not after they'd confronted Liz's uncle Charlie together. Not after they'd leaned on each other, had gone away to college together, out of Roswell where they were safer.

_"...How I find myself disappearing too  
Just the way you do..."_

After everything they had been through together, a crack had formed among the six of them, and it was starting to show. Slowly they were being pulled apart, separating again, back into their own little worlds. After all this time, Max was starting to lose his family.

" _...Thought if I told you  
You might want to help me to remain with you..."_

And he wasn't sure if he had enough glue left to pull them back together again. Just as the thought occurred to him, movement in the room caught his eye, and he sat up, nearly whacking his head on the ceiling.

A very pale Liz Parker was standing across the room, staring at him wide-eyed.

"Liz?" he whispered. When she didn't say anything, he blinked in confusion. How had she gotten in his room without him knowing it? Her mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out of it. Max felt his entire soul fill with dread, and he slid off the top bunk and jumped down to the floor, but when he landed, he looked to where she was standing and realized she was no longer there.

She had disappeared.

* * *

Michael was in a maze. He ran his hands along the walls, trying to find a way out, and when he couldn't, he kept calm and continued walking down the twisted hallways.

What the hell is this freak dreaming about anyway? he wondered.

He had been in Alan's dream for a good half-hour and hadn't even come across him yet. How was he supposed to scare the guy if he couldn't even find him?

Michael stopped walking and sighed in frustration. "Alan!" he shouted, waiting for a response, but none came.

He was beginning to wonder if he had gone into the wrong dream orb.

Just as he was about to pull himself out of the dream, he saw Alan a few feet away. Michael set his jaw and walked up to him, his eyes filled with hatred. "I have a warning for you, Freedman."

Alan sighed. "What now?"

"Stay away from Liz. I swear to you that if I find out you've done anything to hurt her or any of my other friends in any way, I will make you suffer."

"I haven't done anything to any of your stupid friends, okay? Just leave me alone," Alan grumbled, turning away.

"Don't forget it. You don't want to find out what happens if you hurt someone I care about," Michael said darkly. Then without another word, Michael left his dream.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max knocked on Liz's door about 8:30 that night, but she didn't call for him to come in like she usually did. One of the hallway lights flickered above him, and he glanced up and down the hall, his shadow blending with other various shadows on the floor, stretching all the way to the exit. A chill crept up his spine as he knocked on Liz's door again.

How had she gotten into his room? How had she not only gotten into his room, but ran back to Jewell Hall in record time without him even catching a glimpse of her as he raced out of Stoddard? It just didn't make any sense.

Max bit his lip and thought about going next door to Isabel and Maria's, but something told him Liz wouldn't be there anyway. After a second he waved his hand over the door lock and stepped inside the dark room. "Liz?" he whispered.

He nearly tripped over her bookbag that was lying in the middle of the floor, and then frowned as he stooped to pick up a pile of books that she had apparently just thrown off her bed and left there, as well. He set the books on top of her desk quietly, and tiptoed over to her bed.

Liz lay sleeping, her face turned away from him, one arm hanging over the edge of the bed. She hadn't even bothered getting into her pajamas. She had fallen asleep in the same jeans and sweater she had been wearing all day.

Max leaned over her, his frown deepening as he realized she had undoubtedly been asleep for at least an hour. But how could that be when she was just in his room not ten minutes ago?

He silently untied her shoelaces and slipped her shoes off and placed them under her bed. Then he grabbed the blanket off her top bunk and draped it over her gently, staring down at her. Even in slumber she looked different...not peaceful like usual. He kissed her forehead softly and headed for the door again, remembering to dodge the bookbag. But when he glanced down, the bag was sitting by her desk, out of the way.

He shrugged. He must have moved it when he moved her books.

Max had reached the doorway when he turned to look at her one last time. Everything inside him screamed for him to stay there, not to leave her alone tonight. He swallowed hard and then stepped back into the room, closing the door and locking it. Then Max grabbed the pillow off Liz's top bunk and dropped it onto the floor.

He laid down on the floor beside Liz's bed, facing her. He wasn't sure why he was staying, but Max had learned not to ignore his instincts. And he had a feeling that if he left her here alone tonight, something terrible would happen.

The floor wasn't the most comfortable thing to sleep on, but he didn't want to take the chance on waking her by climbing up to the top bunk. Besides, he couldn't see her if he was up there. The floor would do.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Did you get in?" Maria asked as Michael sat up in her bed a few minutes later.

"Yeah, I got in. Message delivered." He yawned and glanced over at her. "Man, I'm tired."

Maria yawned. "Me too. Wanna stay here tonight?"

"Yeah...I'm too tired to walk across campus right now anyway." He crawled under her covers and she crawled in beside him, laying her head on his chest. Michael kissed her forehead and a few moments later they were both asleep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa yawned for a third time in five minutes. She needed to finish her paper for her world religion's class, but her eyelids were drooping by 8:45. This was unusual. She was a born night owl.

She stretched her arms above her head and jumped when the phone rang. She reached over and grabbed it before her answering machine picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey," a soft voice said.

Alyssa smiled. "Hey yourself."

"What's going on?" her fiance Matthew asked.

She sighed and flopped back down on her bed. "Well, I was trying to write a paper but I was thinking about going to bed."

"Are you sick?"

"No, I don't think so...I don't know why I'm so tired, though..."

"It's only nine there isn't it?" Matt asked in confusion.

"Not even." Alyssa muted the volume button on her tv where Fox Mulder was attempting to tell his partner, Dana Scully, that a vampire was responsible for the death of a man in Texas.

"Well, is everything okay?"

She yawned again. "Yeah." Alyssa paused. "Hey, Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"I had something really strange happen tonight."

"What?"

"I ran into this girl in the hallway...she was crying, and I felt this...connection with her somehow. And a few minutes later, when I tried to meditate, I felt like I was going to be suffocated by this wave of sadness. Has anything like that ever happened to you before?"

"No. Who was the girl?"

"I don't know. She lives in Jewell a few doors down from me, though."

"Hmm..."

Alyssa could picture his face perfectly, and she knew without actually seeing him that he was frowning. "I visualized my shield and managed to block it, but it was really strange."

"I'll talk to some people and find out if they've ever experienced anything like that. Are you going to be all right? You sound exhausted," Matt said worriedly.

"I'm really tired, but I'm okay. I think I'm going to go to bed and get up early and write my paper."

"If you need anything, I'm only a phone call away, all right?"

"I know. Thank you," she said softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she murmured before she hung up her phone. Alyssa stared at the picture she had of him on her night table. She wished he wasn't so far away. Florida seemed like a eternity from Blueridge. And right now she really wished that Matt was here with her, with his arms wrapped around her, keeping her warm.

She stood up and pulled her blinds closed on the window and picked up her books off her bed and moved them to one of her desks. Then she crawled under the blanket and shut her eyes.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz opened her eyes and sat up in bed, frowning. Her room was...different somehow. She looked around the room, trying to figure out what it was.

"Oh, my God," she whispered, as she realized that her bed was on the opposite side of the room as it had been before she went to sleep. Not only that, but it was as if her entire room had been reversed. Her door was on the opposite side of the room, too. Liz's eyes widened. "What the--?" she gasped.

"Hello, Liz," a voice whispered from the shadows of her bunk bed.

Her heart began skipped a beat and then began pounding double its normal rate. "Who are you?"

"You know who I am, Liz. I've been watching you."

She still couldn't see who it was, but she vaguely recognized the voice. "What do you want?"

"I want you." He stepped away from his hiding place, but his face was still drenched in shadows. She saw the knife gleaming in his hands and she froze in terror.

The figure reached for her and she screamed--

Ring, ring!

Liz sat up in bed, gasping for breath as her telephone rang again. Everything was so dark. She reached for her lamp that was on her desk pushed up against the headboard of her bunk bed. She shrieked when she couldn't find the switch.

A second later she felt arms around her waist and she screamed in horror. "Liz! Liz, it's me!" Max whispered in her ear. "It's okay, Liz!"

Ring, ring!

"Max, turn the light on! Please!" she cried frantically.

He leaned over, letting go of her long enough to flick the lamp light on, bathing the room in a warm glow against the darkness.

Liz's hand quickly shot out and grabbed the telephone. "Hello?"

Max watched her in concern.

"Dad?" She looked at her clock. It was 2:15 in the morning. "What's wrong?" She could tell he was having a hard time speaking, and it sounded as though he had been crying. Liz took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart. "Dad?"

"I'm so sorry, Lizzie..."

"What happened?" More alarm edged into her voice. She was dimly aware of a knock on the door, and even less aware when Max moved from her side to go see who it was.

"Liz, I'm sorry, but your uncle Charlie died last night."

"What's going on? We heard a scream," she heard Maria say.

Max motioned for her to be quiet and he turned his attention back to Liz, who appeared to be frozen in shock. He hurried to her side and Michael wrapped his arms around Maria, who stood shivering in the doorway of Liz's room.

"...Funeral is Tuesday morning. We'd like you to be here, if you can take a couple days off."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. I'll come home today." She drifted in and out of awareness as her father said a few more things. "I'll see you later."

Her hand wouldn't let go of the phone so Max reached over and gently pulled it out of her fingers. "Liz? What happened?" he asked.

She stared into space, unblinking.

Maria looked at Michael fearfully and they both went over to her. Maria knelt down in front of her best friend and looked up at her. "Liz? What's going on? What did your dad say?"

"He's dead," Liz answered without emotion. "Uncle Charlie died last night."

* * *

Alex yawned and stared out the plastic covered window in the backseat of the Evans' jeep. It was almost 3 in the afternoon, and right now his legs needed a good stretch.

He glanced over at Isabel, who sat between him and Michael, looking about as uncomfortable as he felt.

Alex glanced past her to Michael, who was holding Maria in his lap. She was asleep, her head resting in the crook of his neck.

They'd been on the road since 8:30 this morning and had only gone through the McDonald's drive-thru for breakfast as they left Blueridge, and they hadn't stopped since.

Alex leaned forward. "Hey, Max," he said, his voice low so he wouldn't wake Maria.

Max looked at him in the rearview mirror. "Yeah?"

"We should stop soon and stretch."

"And get some food," Michael whispered as he stomach growled.

"And use the restroom," Isabel added.

Max nodded his head. "We need to get gas anyway. I'll stop at the next station."

Alex sat back in his seat and rested his head against the plastic, yawning again. Road trips always made him tired. Of course, he was tired anyway. The 5 a.m. phone call from Maria had woken him up when he had only gone to sleep at around 2.

Isabel had fallen asleep around midnight, curled up in his bed and she hadn't woken up even when his roommate Todd had stumbled into the room drunk around 1.

In fact, Isabel had slept through the phone ringing as well. He'd pulled himself out of bed and picked up the receiver by the third ring, mumbling a sleepy, "Hello," into the mouth piece.

"Alex, it's me. We're taking Liz back to Roswell this morning."

"What? Roswell? Why?"

"Her uncle Charlie died in a car accident last night."

Alex had stood in the darkness of his room, unable to respond as her words had echoed in his mind.

"Alex?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm here. Okay...What time are we leaving?"

"You and Isabel can stay, it's all right."

"No, I'm going."

"We're leaving around 8:15."

"How is she?"

"I don't know. She hasn't said much."

Understatement, Alex thought. She hadn't said anything the entire trip. She'd just been staring blankly out the windshield, like a zombie. He wasn't even sure if she was aware of what was going on around her.

He felt the jeep slow to a stop and he realized that Max had pulled into an Amoco station.

Thank God, Alex thought. My legs are killing me.

"I think we can take the top off now. It's not cold or rainy here," Isabel commented.

Michael gently shook Maria awake and she accepted Max's hand as he helped her out of the jeep. Michael and Isabel crawled out next, and as Alex started to follow, he realized Liz was still sitting motionless in the passenger seat.

He sighed as he climbed out of the jeep. Michael and Maria had already took off to go inside and find some food, and Isabel was working on undoing the top of the jeep while Max filled up the tank with gasoline.

Alex stretched his arms and legs and yawned again before he helped Isabel finish taking the topper off. Max put the gas pump handle back into place and went to pay as Isabel walked off to find a restroom.

He glanced at Liz and took a deep breath as he walked over to the side of the jeep. "Liz? You want something to eat or drink? I'm buying."

She shook her head, but didn't look at him.

Alex frowned. She hadn't eaten anything since dinner the night before. He leaned down so his arms were resting on the passenger door. He was beginning to wonder if Liz was seeing anything as she stared blankly off into the distance. Alex waved his hand in front of her face. When she didn't even blink, his frown deepened.

With a sigh, he pushed himself away from the jeep. He walked into the gas station and went over to Michael, who was looking at the selection of junk food.

Michael glanced over at him and then out the window. "How's she doing?"

"I think her vocal chords have stopped functioning. She's just staring ahead of her like an extra from Night of the Living Dead," he muttered, grabbing a bag of cheese curls from the shelf.

"She's in shock." Michael grabbed a box of chocolate doughnuts and followed Alex to the cash register.

Alex gave the cashier the money and stepped aside, waiting for Michael to finish paying, and then they both walked outside. They waited for Max, Isabel and Maria. When they joined them, the five of them headed back to the jeep.

"Max, do you want one of us to drive?" Isabel offered.

"No. Thanks." Max climbed into the driver's side.

Alex glanced at Liz before climbing into the seat behind her again. Isabel slid into the seat beside him and Michael sat next to her, pulling Maria onto his lap again. Within moments, she had fallen back asleep and Isabel's eyes were drifting shut as well.

He looked over at Michael, who was watching Liz in concern. He gave Alex a pointed look as he took a bite of chocolate doughnut covered in Tabasco Sauce, and then nodded his head towards Liz.

Alex took the hint and leaned forward in the jeep and placed his hand on Liz's shoulder. I'm here. We're all here, Liz, he thought. He just wished she could understand that.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The unexpected touch caused her to blink. She knew without looking that it was Alex's hand on her shoulder. After the connection they'd formed four years ago, she'd been able to sense which one of her friends was nearby. She wasn't exactly sure where the knowledge came from, but even after all this time she could still distinguish each of her friends individually without looking.

It was amazing, really. The connection they had made. It was almost like all six of their souls had joined into one.

Sure, she'd always felt close to Maria and Alex, and then Max, but...When the six of them had connected that day so long ago...Words couldn't even begin to describe what she felt.

In an instant, Isabel and Michael had become two of her best friends, and she'd felt even closer to Maria, Alex and Max.

And even after she'd yelled at Alex the night before, he was letting her know that he was there for her.

Tears filled her eyes suddenly and she quickly blinked them away. She had been wrong before. She wasn't alone. She didn't know why she'd ever thought that in the first place.

Liz reached over and laced her fingers through Max's that were curled loosely around the gear shift. He looked at her in surprise, and then squeezed her hand gently and turned his eyes back to the road.

She moved her other hand to touch Alex's hand that still lay on her shoulder. She sent him a silent thanks, but he kept his hand there and Max continued to hold her other one.

She leaned back in the seat and relaxed a bit. They were still about an hour away from Roswell. And she wasn't alone.

Whatever lay ahead, they'd be there--all of them--to face it with her.

And knowing that made Liz feel a lot better.

* * *

Maria woke up and glanced down at Michael, who was sound asleep. Beside him Isabel was also sleeping. Alex was leaning forward, his hand on Liz's shoulder. Liz looked more relaxed than she had in a few weeks.

And, Maria thought, noticing Liz and Max's joined hands, maybe they're back on track, too.

She smiled and noticed Max glancing at her in the rearview mirror. She met his eyes and smiled at him. He grinned back at her.

Maria felt her excitement start to build and she had a difficult time keeping still. She couldn't wait to see her mother again. It had seemed so long since she'd gone home to Roswell during fall break in Mid-October.

She looked out at the familiar desert surroundings along 285 South, and her eyes lit up when she saw the sign that read, "Roswell, 15 Miles."

Maria couldn't wait.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She practically jumped out of the jeep before Max had put it in park position. She hurried around to the passenger side and hugged Liz. "If you need anything tonight, you call me, okay?"

Liz nodded. "I will. Tell your mom I said hi."

Maria smiled and ran up to her driveway, ringing the doorbell several times. She could have used her key, but didn't feel like digging around for it in her purse.

A moment later the door opened, and Amy DeLuca's eyes widened in surprise. "Maria!"

"Mom!" Maria threw her arms around her mother and the two embraced for a long moment.

Michael smiled from his seat, watching the reunion. He waved to them as Max put the jeep in reverse and they pulled out of the driveway.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They dropped off Alex next. He climbed out of the jeep after giving Isabel a kiss. Then he reached down and hugged Liz. "I'll see you later," he said, kissing her forehead.

Liz smiled at him nervously. "Okay."

He picked up on her growing anxiety. "It'll be okay," Alex added, dropping his voice so only she could hear him. He gave her a reassuring grin and his famous double thumbs up before turning to go to his house.

Max glanced at Liz. "You ready?"

She took a deep breath. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Max squeezed her hand and headed for the Crashdown Cafe.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You want us to come with you?" Isabel asked softly, leaning up between the two front seats and glancing at Liz.

Liz smiled briefly and shook her head. "I need to go by myself. But thanks."

Isabel nodded and moved away as Michael leaned forward. "If you need anything--"

"--Call. I will," she promised, meeting his eyes. Then she turned to Max, who was watching her carefully. "Thanks," Liz whispered as she leaned into his open arms and hugged him tightly.

"I love you," Max said quietly.

"I love you, too," she whispered back as she pressed her face into his shoulder. He was warm, safe, alive. He made her feel alive, too. She didn't want to leave the safety of his embrace.

Liz forced herself to pull away from him and climbed out of the jeep. She glanced up at the cafe. It didn't look any different than it had over the summer. She had a feeling however, that once she went inside, everything was going to be different.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz made her way up the back stairs slowly, part of her wanting to go up and see her parents, and the other part wanting to turn around and run all the way to Max and Isabel's house.

She paused on the steps halfway up, gripped onto the rail and closed her eyes. In her mind, she imagined that Max was with her, and for a moment she could almost feel him standing next to her, holding her hand.

It gave her the strength to finish her climb up to her parents' apartment. She twisted the doorknob and pushed open the door. Then she took a deep breath and stepped inside.

She watched as her mother dusted the china cabinet, picking up each dish and wiping it off several times before reaching for a new one, her back to Liz.

Liz's gaze moved to the kitchen table where her father sat, also faced away from her. A cup of coffee set in front of hm and he was holding onto it tightly, his head hanging down.

"Mom? Dad?"

Nancy turned to her and Liz could tell she'd been crying. "Hi honey." Liz walked over to her and her mother gave her a quick, akward hug before turning back to her chore. It stung a little, but Liz reminded herself that she and her mother had never been close.

Liz turned her attention to her father. His eyes were bloodshot, and had dark circles under them. His hair looked a bit more gray than the last time she'd seen him. "Dad?" she said softly, standing beside him.

Jeff Parker managed to smile at her and held his arms out. Liz hugged him, remembering a long time ago when she would crawl onto his lap, believing that he could keep her safe from all the scary things in the world.

"I can't believe he's gone, Lizzie. He was my best friend in the world and now he's gone."

Liz squeezed her eyes shut as pain seared her heart. She had to remind herself that no matter what her uncle had done to her, her dad didn't know about it, and he had been close to Charlie. But it didn't make it hurt any less.

She forced herself to open her eyes. Her dad wasn't crying. He'd never cried in front of her. But right now he was the closest she'd ever seen him to it.

And since she had no idea what to say, Liz remained silent as she sat down at the table next to him and watched her mother keep herself busy with the cleaning.

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Liz stood in the doorway of her old bedroom and took a deep breath. This room had been hers since she was a kid. It had held all of the secrets she'd kept during her lifetime--good and bad.

She flipped the light on, stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Everything looked the same as it did the last time she'd been there. Her bed was made neatly and her stuffed bear Pookie sat on it, smiling.

Her mirror stood by her window, still slightly tilted as two of her scraves and her black velvet hat hung on the top of it.

Her bookshelf still held all of the books on astronomy and biology she had bought back in junior high and high school when she had been certain that she was going to be a scientist after college.

On top of her dresser in a white vase were the roses that Max had given to her on prom night their senior year. She'd had them professionally dried so she could keep them forever. Next to the bouquet was her high school diploma, and a framed picture of her with Max, Isabel, Alex, Maria and Michael in their caps and gowns after graduation.

Hanging in a frame on the wall behind her dresser was the drawing Michael had done of her and Max and given to her for Christmas two years ago.

The only thing different was her.

She had changed, was still changing.

What scared her was she didn't know what was causing the change. It was something dark, something sinister, that much she knew for sure.

But she didn't know if she could fight it.

Even with all of her friends with her, she wasn't sure if she had the strength.

* * *

Michael Guerin stared at his old home in Roswell's trailer park. He wondered what happened to Hank after he'd left for college. Wondered if Hank ever thought about him, if he even cared that Michael was still alive.

He kicked at a rock that was lodged in the dirt until it came lose and skitted across the road, illuminated by the stars that were out tonight in full force, their light radiating in the sky.

Michael thought about Hank a lot. It was hard not to. Hank was the only father Michael had ever known. Phillip Evans was very kind to him, but he hadn't been raised by him, either. And he no longer resented Max and Isabel for having a nice family while he'd been stuck with a raw deal. And a big part of the reason for that was because of what had happened to Liz. Because of her, he'd finally realized that just because someone appears to have a perfect family doesn't mean that they don't have problems.

After all, from all appearances, Liz had a wonderful, loving family. Her parents owned a nice restaraunt and money wasn't a problem for them, her mom and dad got along, and then of course, there was Liz herself. She'd always been friendly and popular at school, and she made straight A's, and had two best friends since the fifth grade. He used to think she had everything, everything that he had wanted. But now he knew differently. He knew now that Liz's life had been hell and all the appearances were just that.

People saw what they wanted to see and ignored the rest. They didn't want to know about what happened behind closed doors. Didn't want to get involved.

Michael stared up at the sky.

That's why he'd realized that going back to wherever he was from wasn't as important as he'd always thought. What if it was no better there? What if his real father didn't care anything about him, the way Hank hadn't? At least here he had four good friends and of course, Maria.

He smiled as he thought about her. He never thought anyone could love him for who he was and not try to change him. But she had. She loved him unconditionally, and didn't care if even after all these years, his powers still weren't as advanced as Max and Isabel's, or that he was getting a C in advanced Calculus, or that he still felt angry with Hank sometimes and needed to spend some time alone.

Maria understood him better than he understood himself sometimes.

That's what a real family was about. Understanding, love and support. And he didn't need to go to another planet in search of those things. He had them right here on Earth.

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Alyssa woke up in a cold sweat, her mind and heart racing. She glanced around her dark dorm room, and quickly flipped on her bedside lamp, blinking rapidly.

She knew she'd had another nightmare, but she couldn't remember what it was about.

She shoved the covers down to the foot of the bed, and stood up. She turned on the overhead light, desperate to get rid of all the darkness in her room.

Alyssa looked around. Everything appeared to be as it had been before she'd fallen asleep, but something felt...wrong. She took a deep breath and opened her dresser drawer, searching. She threw aside tapes and books she'd stuffed inside to get them off the floor. She dug deeper and finally found what she was looking for.

She slipped the tiger's eye bracelet that Matthew had given her onto her wrist, and instantly the bad feeling began to dissipate. She let out a sigh and rubbed her eyes. She looked at the clock on her night stand as she crawled back into bed. 11:21.

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11:21.

Liz stared at the red digits of her alarm clock. She'd hoped that she would be able to sleep here at her parents' house, in her old bed, better than she'd been sleeping at Blueridge. No such luck.

She sighed and threw the covers off, crawling out of bed. She opened her window and slid outside onto her roof.

She used to spend so much time out here, either star-gazing, or writing in her journal, or talking with Max or one of her friends. It was her special place, her place of refuge. From bad dreams, or overwhelming sadness or fear. She would come here and feel at peace again.

Liz sat down on her old lawn chair, instantly comforted by the familiar feeling she got. She looked up at the sky, full of stars. She was so tired, but for some reason she was afraid of falling asleep now.

Her dream from the previous night flashed through her mind and she froze. The man had a knife, was coming towards her...

"I want you."

That voice...had sounded so familiar...

But where had she heard it before?

"Liz?"

She jumped and looked over at the ladder.

"I didn't mean to scare you...I couldn't sleep, and I had a feeling you couldn't either, so..." Max stood a few feet away from her, staring at her in the semi-darkness.

Liz sighed in relief. "It's okay."

He moved towards her and sat down next to her on the lawn chair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Max."

Max nodded, but she knew he didn't believe her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her cradled against his chest. They sat in silence, and she listened to the calming sound of his heartbeat. He brushed his lips against her forehead and then laid his head on hers. Within moments, Liz fell asleep.

Max smiled as he heard her soft breathing, wishing he could hold her like this forever. But when he glanced down at her, his smiled faded. Even in sleep, he could tell something was bothering her.


	4. Chapter 4

Liz was filled with a sense of dread as she woke up Tuesday morning.

She hadn't had bad dreams last night, but she suspected that was because she'd fallen asleep in Max's arms, and she always felt safe with Max.

But it was the same kind of dread she usually had after waking up from a bad dream.

She stuffed down the feeling as she glanced up at Max, who was still sleeping. As much as she hated to do it, she had to wake him up so he could go home and she could get ready for the visitation and funeral today.

"Max," she whispered.

His eyes opened and he glanced down at her. "Hey, good morning."

"Morning," she answered, offering him the best imitation of a smile she could conjure up. "My parents will be expecting me for breakfast shortly."

He yawned, stretched and nodded. "Guess that's my cue to hit the road, huh?"

She kissed his cheek. "Yeah, for now. But thanks for coming over here last night."

"Where else would I be?" Max asked softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear as he gazed into her eyes.

Liz felt an overwhelming wave of guilt wash over her. Max was being so good to her, and she couldn't even be honest with him about how she was feeling.

When had that happened? When had she allowed something to come between the two of them? They'd been so close for so long, and now it felt like there were miles between them and the thought saddened her. She loved Max with all of her heart and soul, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him about the nightmares she'd been having about Uncle Charlie...or the other ones. Not yet.

"I'll see you later," she whispered as she stood up, breaking eye contact with him. She didn't wait for a response as she climbed inside her room through her window. But she felt the hurt she left him with as he stood out on her roof, staring at her retreating figure.

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Maria spotted Michael right away as she and her mother arrived at the funeral home. He was wearing a suit that looked a little small on him, and Maria guessed it was one of Max's.

Amy looked down at her, over to Michael, and smiled slightly. "I'm going to go see how Nancy and Jeff are holding up," Amy said.

"Okay," Maria agreed. She waited as her mother walked across the room, and then she headed for her boyfriend. He immediately pulled her into his arms and gave her a quick hug. "I missed you last night."

"Ditto," he said. He took her hand and glanced around the room. "Liz is the only one here so far." He shifted uncomfortably, loosening his collar.

Maria looked over at Liz, who was standing with her parents, and even from across the room, she could tell her friend was nervous. "Let's go see how she's doing," she suggested.

He nodded and held onto her hand as they moved over to where Liz, Jeff and Nancy Parker were standing with Amy DeLuca. Amy gave Liz a quick hug. "How are you doing, sweetie?"

"I'm okay," Liz replied, but Maria knew she was lying.

Maria moved to her side and slid an arm around her shoulders as the adults wandered off. "We're here for you," she whispered into Liz's ear.

Liz gave her a grateful look and nodded.

"There's Max and Isabel," Michael said as the two approached.

Max looked handsome in a black suit and tie, and Isabel was beautiful in a navy blue dress with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Max immediately moved to Liz's other side and wrapped an arm around her waist.

Isabel glanced at Liz, and then at Michael and Maria. "How's she doing?" she asked Michael in a barely audible voice.

Michael just looked at her and shrugged. Isabel sighed.

"Where's Alex?" Maria asked.

"I'm here," he said as he came up behind them, wearing a suit nearly identical to Max's. He grinned at Max. "I like your suit."

Max grinned. "You have good taste, Whitman."

"In clothes and women," Alex said as he put an arm around Isabel, who smacked him on the arm playfully.

"Lizzie!" a voice said from behind them.

The six of them turned around to see who'd spoken. Liz broke away from Max and Maria and hugged her aunt Louise. "Hi."

"Hi, Lizzie. How are you doing?" Aunt Louise asked, standing back to look at her. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

Maria studied the woman. She had long, curly red hair and dark brown eyes, and was probably in her mid-forties.

"I'm so sorry about Charlie, Lizzie." She brushed a strand of hair out of her niece's face. "You were his favorite, you know."

She felt Michael tense beside her and squeeze her hand a bit tighter. She squeezed it back.

"Well, I'm going to go see my brother." Aunt Louise walked away.

Max moved to put his arm around Liz again, but she shook her head. "I'm going to get some air." Her tone of voice startled them all, and she headed for the door without another word. Max looked like he'd been slapped.

Maria started to go after her, but Michael caught her arm. "Let me go," he said quietly.

She nodded in silent agreement and watched him follow her best friend.

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Liz stepped outside into the warm New Mexico air. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she sat down on the concrete bench. She heard footsteps behind her and without turning around, said, "I'm fine, Michael."

"That's what you keep saying." He sat down next to her, but didn't look at her, only gazed across the horizon.

"I am," she insisted.

"Look, not a whole lot of people here understand what you're going through here. Don't push away the ones who do." He let the words linger for a moment. "We care about you. All of us. And we're worried."

"So am I," Liz answered softly.

"It's okay to feel however you're feeling."

She almost smiled. Even after four years, she knew what a tough time Michael had expressing his own feelings to people, and yet, here he was, trying to get her to. "You're a good friend, Michael. Thank you."

When she didn't say anything else, he stood up and sighed. "Whenever you're ready...we're waiting."

"I know," she whispered. But she was pretty sure Michael didn't hear her as he walked back inside the funeral home.

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Honestly, she didn't know how she was feeling. Part of her was relieved. Relieved that she didn't have to wonder if her uncle would ever try to contact her again, relieved that she wouldn't have to worry about running into him someday, even a bit relieved that he was dead. But part of her was sad, too. Sad for her father, who had lost his best friend, sad for all the other relatives that loved Charlie, and sad for herself because she couldn't ever get back what he had taken from her.

"Liz?"

She rose up off the bench and turned around, her eyes widening in surprise. "Kyle!"

Kyle Valenti smiled at her, his arm around a pretty red head that looked vaguely familiar. "You remember Cassie Owens?"

"Yeah, of course! Cassie, hi!" She was surprised as Cassie hugged her. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Cassie said quietly, a warm smile on her face. "How are you doing?"

"Okay," Liz responded.

Kyle met her eyes and frowned. "Where's Max?"

"Uh...inside, I think," Liz said, looking away. Was it that apparent to everyone how bad she was feeling?

"Well, we were just headed in. Why don't you come with us?" Kyle suggested, his voice worried.

"Yeah, sure." Liz took a deep breath and walked inside with Kyle and Cassie. The second she was inside she spotted Maria and Alex talking quietly in the lobby, worried looks on both of their faces. When Maria looked up and saw Liz walking with Kyle and Cassie, her eyes widened and she and Alex headed over.

"Hey, Alex. Maria," Kyle greeted them.

Maria smiled at him. "Hey, Kyle. How's it going?"

"Good."

"Cassie, I haven't seen you for so long!" Maria said excitedly, hugging her. "So you two are--?"

Kyle and Cassie exchanged a look and smiled. "Yeah."

"How long?"

"Since the beginning of the semester. Cassie started attending U.N.M. and we have an English class together."

"Bonding over Shakespeare, are we?" Alex asked, unable to hold back a grin.

"Something like that," Cassie agreed, returning his smile.

Alex's gaze flickered over to Liz and he met her eyes. "Would you excuse us for a minute?" he said to the others. He draped an arm around Liz's shoulders and lead her away from the group. "Liz, what's going on?"

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Kyle glanced around the funeral home as Cassie and Maria headed off to go the restroom. Why women had to go in pairs to the bathroom was beyond his realm of comprehension.

His gaze finally rested on the person he was looking for and he walked over. "Max. We need to talk."

"Kyle?" Max looked up at him, both surprised and startled. He looked around, but didn't see any of his friends nearby.

"Hey, Max," Kyle responded, reaching his hand out.

Puzzled, Max shook it. "What are you doing here?"

"My dad called me. Told me about Liz's uncle."

"Oh."

Now what was he supposed to say?

As it turned out, he didn't have to worry about it. Because Kyle jumped right ahead with what he had to say.

"Look, Liz isn't looking too good. Now I don't know what's going on, but I found her sitting outside alone while you're in here doing what can only be described as moping. Whatever is going on with the two of you...she needs you now."

Kyle's voice was calm and steady, but Max could have sworn he detected a hint of warning mixed in as well.

He just nodded his head and turned towards the door.

"Max."

"Yeah?"

"Don't let her push you away."

He met Kyle's eyes, and saw the seriousness there. And with new-found determination, he set out to find Liz.

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Alex gazed down at Liz, who looked back at him, her expression as close to blank as he'd ever seen it. "You do a good job of hiding your feelings, Liz. But it doesn't work with me, remember? I know you too well."

She didn't respond.

"Look, you've stuffed your feelings down about this for too long."

"Alex, I'm fine. He's dead. It's over." She turned away from him.

"It's not over, Liz," another voice said quietly.

Alex turned to see Max standing behind them. "I'm just going to go find Isabel." He looked at Liz one last time before he walked off.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz stared at the wall, her shoulders tense, and her arms folded across her chest. "It is over, Max."

He moved so he was standing next to her, and he reached out and turned her around so she had to look at him. "Liz, just tell me how you're feeling. Please," he begged.

She swallowed hard, and looked up into the eyes that she loved so much. The eyes that were overflowing with love for her. With one hand, she reached up and touched his cheek. "I'm sorry I've been distant, Max. It's just...I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this..." her voice trailed off.

"Liz, it doesn't matter what your supposed to feel. What matters is how you do feel." He rested his hands on her shoulders.

She closed her eyes. "I feel...like I'm glad he's gone...but then I feel guilty for feeling glad...and I feel like I'm betraying my parents because I know I'm not going to miss him...and I'm scared that I'm going to hell for feeling this way..."

Max shook his head. "Liz, after what he did to you...if you go to hell for feeling that way, I don't want to see what heaven's like." He touched her face. "But you don't have to push us away because of how you feel...We're all here for you, Liz."

"I know that. I do. It's just...I don't want to drag you guys down with me."

"You're not," he promised. "That's what family is for. Through the good and the bad." He kissed her forehead, and she leaned against him, pressing her face into his shirt as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," he said softly, resting his head on top of hers.

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Isabel shivered and looked around. She hated funeral homes. They gave her the creeps. She didn't know where Max wandered off to, and she had seen Maria and Alex head towards the lobby together earlier, probably exchanging notes on how to deal with the Liz situation. Michael had been gone for awhile, too, but she didn't know where he went.

She sat down on one of the chairs toward the back of the room, as far away from the casket as possible. Another chill ran down her spine.

She could see him from her seat, though she averted her eyes quickly. Staring at dead people was not something she wanted to be doing.

"Isabel?"

She looked up and smiled at her mother as she sat down next to her. "Hi, Mom."

"How's Liz?"

"Not too good," she admitted.

Her mother put an arm around her and leaned her head against Isabel's. "I know these places give you the creeps."

"Understatement," Isabel said softly. Her eyes traveled back to the body that lay still in the casket. She turned her head and pressed her face into her mother's shoulder. "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"What happens when you die?"

She knew it was a childish question, and she didn't know what made her ask it. It had just sort of come out.

"Well, a lot of people believe a lot of different things, Izzy. Every culture has their own beliefs about death and the afterlife."

"So who's right?"

Diane Evans smiled. "I don't think there are any rights or wrongs. I don't think there's anyway of actually knowing."

"What do you believe?" Isabel raised her head and searched her mother's eyes.

"I believe...that if you're a good person, and you don't intentionally harm people in your life, that you'll in end up with a good afterlife."

Her eyes darkened slightly. "And if you're bad?"

"Then...I don't know. What's making you ask all these things?" Diane looked at her daughter in concern.

Isabel just shook her head. "I don't know, Mom. Just being here, I guess." She felt someone standing behind her and a small smile crept onto her lips. "Hi, Alex."

Diane glanced up at the young man standing behind her daughter, startled that Isabel knew who it was without even turning around. It didn't seem to surprise Alex, though.

"Hi." He sat down in the other seat next to her.

Isabel reached over and took his hand, lacing her fingers through his. "Where are Liz and Maria?"

"Liz is with Max, and Maria's with Cassie."

"Cassie?" she repeated.

"Cassie Owens. She was in our graduating class."

"Oh, that Cassie. I remember her. She was always so quiet!" Isabel smiled. "What's she doing here?"

"She's here with Kyle."

Isabel stared at him. "Kyle Valenti?"

"The one and only," Alex answered, nodding in his direction.

Kyle stood across the room, leaning against the wall, talking to Maria and Cassie. She shook her head in amazement.

Would wonders never cease?

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Liz took a deep breath as she saw her parents approaching her and Max. She reluctantly slid out of Max's warm arms, but she reached for his hand. He held hers tightly. "Mom, Dad."

"Let's go say goodbye to Charlie," her mother said softly, holding her father's hand.

Fear gripped her heart.

She didn't want to go back in there, and she especially didn't want to up to that casket.

Max seemed to know exactly how she was feeling because he moved closer to her, almost as if he was trying to physically shield her from her own fears.

Step, step, step.

Liz forced her feet to move forward until they were standing in the doorway of the room where her uncle lay dead.

No, please, don't make me do this, she thought, trying to come up with any excuse she could think of not to go up there.

"Come on, Lizzie," Jeff said softly, taking her other hand and pulling her along behind him.

God, no, please, no.

She was only a few feet away, trailing behind her father, Max right by her side.

A wave of nausea came over her as they got closer, and she swallowed convulsively, afraid she was going to be sick.

She felt her throat constrict, and she could barely breath.

Oh, God, please don't make me go up there. I don't want to.

Her heart felt like it was about to come bursting out of her chest. The room was starting to spin.

"No," she choked out in a whisper. She tried to let go of her father's hand, but he held onto hers more tightly.

"Liz?"

She heard Max's reassuring voice say her name, but it sounded so far away...

"No," she said again, her voice rising a little.

Her father turned around to face her, but when he turned it wasn't Jeff Parker holding onto her hand. It was Charlie Parker, and he was coming closer, glaring at her.

Liz ripped her hand away from him and stumbled backwards, letting out a shrill cry. "NO!" She fell into a pair of strong arms and started to sob.

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Michael held Liz in his arms as she cried, and he looked up at Max, who was standing next to him, stroking her hair.

"Lizzie? It's okay," Jeff Parker whispered, moving to his daughter's side. "We know how much you loved him."

Michael grimaced and felt Liz tense at the words. His own body tensed as well. Within seconds, the others were standing around, forming a protective circle around her.

"Liz, it's okay," Maria was whispering, holding onto Liz's hand.

"Max," Liz choked out, keeping her eyes shut.

"I'm right here," he assured her as he and Michael changed positions so that Max was the one holding her.

Kyle held Cassie's hand tightly, and Michael could see that even the two of them were tense. He met Kyle's eyes briefly, and then glanced at Alex and Isabel and Diane Evans, who were all looking on in worry.

"Lizzie, it'll be easier for you later if you say goodbye," Nancy said, her voice flat.

Michael turned his gaze to her, unable to keep the coldness out of his eyes.

"Please don't make me go up there," Liz was saying softly, her voice choked and tear-filled.

"You don't have to, Liz," Max whispered back, holding her tightly.

"I don't want to..." The words were spoken in a heart breaking whimper.

Isabel covered her mouth with her hand and choked back a sob of her own. Diane wrapped her arms around her.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" Amy DeLuca came up and saw how upset Liz was, and looked at Maria.

"She doesn't want to say goodbye," Jeff told her.

Michael bit his tongue and tried to keep his mouth shut.

Amy looked at Liz sympathetically, but didn't say anything.

"Come on, Lizzie," Nancy Parker urged.

Liz shook her head furiously against Max's chest. If possible, he tightened his arms around her even more tightly, and met Nancy's eyes. "She doesn't want to."

"I know what's best for her, I'm her mother." There was no mistaking the bitter jealousy in her voice.

"Nancy--" Jeff began.

"Just because you're her boyfriend gives you no right to run her life!"

"Max isn't running her life, Nancy, he's trying to respect Liz's wishes," Diane said softly, stroking Isabel's hair.

"He's not her family!"

That was it. Michael stepped forward. "With no disrespect, Mrs. Parker, Liz is 20 years old. She's capable of making her own decisions."

Maria held onto his arm.

"And who the hell do you think you are?" Nancy demanded.

"Okay, let's keep in mind where we are here people," Amy said gently, trying to calm them all down.

Michael took a deep breath and looked away.

"This is Liz's favorite uncle. She should say goodbye to him. It's the respectful thing to do." Nancy held her ground and glared at Max and Michael.

Liz finally managed to pull her face away from Max, but didn't move away from him as she turned to face her mother. "I don't want to go up there, Mom."

"Lizzie--"

"Don't call me that," she whispered. "He called me that, and I didn't like it..."

Nancy's face registered confusion.

Michael glanced over at Alex, who was staring right back him as they both had the same realization at the same moment. Their eyes widened.

"Honey, your uncle Charlie loved you very much," Jeff said quietly.

"No, he didn't!" Her face was tear-strained and she was trembling. "If he did, he wouldn't have--" She cut herself off.

Maria's hand rose to her mouth as she, too, realized what was about to happen.

"He wouldn't have what?" Nancy's voice was now a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"He wouldn't have abused me!" Liz's voice came out a strangled whisper.

* * *

The room was dead silent.

Liz couldn't believe she blurted it out like that, here, in front of everyone, at her uncle's funeral visitation. She felt Max's arms tighten around her and was more grateful than words could ever express for his strength.

Both of her parents were staring at her, her dad looking shocked, her mother looking a mixture of angry, shocked, and confused.

"What?" her dad finally said.

Somehow she found her voice to speak again.

"Uncle Charlie did things to me," she whispered. "When he would come and stay with us while he was in town."

"No," her mother said softly.

Liz felt rather than saw Alex and Maria both move closer to her, so they were standing on either side of her while she remained in Max's arms. She knew Michael and Isabel were standing close by, too.

"When?" her dad asked, his expression going from shock to blank.

She swallowed hard. "It started when I was six."

"No," her mother said again, shaking her head, tears filling her eyes.

"It's true," Kyle said quietly. "A few years ago at the Crashdown when Liz was working, he had her cornered in the back room...he was...touching her when I came in and stopped him."

Liz met his eyes and thanked him silently.

"No!" her mother shook her head vehemently and glared at Kyle.

"Mom--" she whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek.

Nancy Parker turned her glare at her daughter and a second later Liz felt her mother's hand on her cheek as the slap resonated through the air. "You're a liar!"

"Nancy!" Amy DeLuca gasped.

For a second, Liz actually felt her heart break into a billion pieces and crumble inside of her. Her knees went weak and had it not been for Max holding her up, she'd have fallen to the ground. Instead, he turned her around in his arms and pressed her face into his chest.

"She's not lying," Max said quietly, his eyes filled with anger.

Liz trembled and fought desperately to keep from sobbing. She did not want to have a total breakdown in front of everyone twice in one day.

"It's all in her mind! Charlie would never have done anything to hurt Lizzie!"

"You're wrong," Alex said, meeting her eyes. "Liz didn't make it up, Mrs. Parker."

"Stay out of this," her mother said, glaring at him.

"No! Alex won't stay out of this, and neither will I," Maria spoke up, wiping tears off her own cheeks.

"Maria--"

"Why would she lie about this? It doesn't make any sense!" Her voice was full of anger.

Michael reached out and put an arm around Maria.

Liz closed her eyes as her friends defended her to her mother. She wished she could just make herself disappear so she never had to turn around and see her mother look at her with such an expression of hatred in her eyes again.

"Just get out of here! Get her out of my sight!" Nancy said angrily, turning away.

Liz felt the final remnants of her heart fall to the floor and shatter. Max's arms pulled her closer, more protectively. She realized she was moving, that Max was taking her somewhere, but she didn't know where she was going. He was leading and she didn't debate whether or not to follow, she just did it.

She was too numb to do anything else.

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Alex sat tensely on the Evans' living room sofa, in between Isabel and Maria, with Michael sitting on Maria's other side. Across the room on the loveseat, Kyle and Cassie sat talking softly.

"Okay, tea for everyone," Amy DeLuca announced, carrying a tray into the room and setting it on the coffee table in front of them.

Alex glanced up at her, and realized she didn't look much better than the rest of them. He knew Maria's mother had always thought of Liz as another daughter. He accepted a mug of the herbal tea she'd fixed to try and calm everyone's nerves. "Thanks, Mrs. DeLuca," he sais quietly.

"You're welcome." She perched nervously on one of the lounge chairs, staring at the clock.

He stared into the mug, but he never really saw the liquid inside. He was seeing the devastation on Liz's face as her mother slapped her and called her a liar not an hour ago at the funeral home.

Alex shook his head and stood up, the first move any of the four of them had made in the last forty five minutes. He set down the mug and moved to stare out the window.

He felt Maria come up and stand next to him, gazing up at cloudy sky. "Do you think she's okay?" she whispered.

He glanced over at her, and wordlessly he put an arm around her shoulders. "I don't know, Maria," he said honestly.

"I wish I knew what was going on in there," she said, sighing in frustration.

Alex nodded. A second later, they heard footsteps coming down the hallway and they both turned around to see who it was. Max appeared in the entrance to the living room. The usual calm look in his eyes had been replaced by a mixture of sorrow and anger Alex didn't remember ever seeing before.

"Max?" Isabel asked, rising off the couch and to her feet.

"Mom's in there with her," he said, his tone flat. "She wanted to know if you'd go in with them, Mrs. DeLuca."

She stood up. "Yes, of course." Maria's mother hurried out of the room and disappeared down the hallway.

"Max, how is she?" Maria asked, leaving Alex's side and walking across the room to him.

Max just shook his head, leaned against the wall, and stared up at the ceiling.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kyle Valenti hated waiting.

He'd hated it since he was a kid, when he'd spent so much time waiting for his mom to come back after she'd walked out on him and his dad.

Some small part of him was still waiting for that to happen, but the rest of him knew it would never happen. His mom hadn't loved him, that's why she walked out. She wasn't coming back. It was the same with Cassie's mother, which was a big part of the reason that they'd hit it off when she started attending U.N.M.

There was only one other person who knew how much it hurt him that his mother had walked out. The only other person that he had admitted it to.

Liz.

They'd been going out for awhile before their sophomore year, and Liz had come over to his house to watch a movie. It was the sixth anniversary to the day that day, and he'd never cried in front of anyone before, not even his father. So when Liz showed up and he was crying, needless to say, she'd been shocked, but had wrapped her arms around him and told him how sorry she was and that everything would be okay. She'd listened while he told her everything...and much to his surprise, it felt good to have someone to talk to like that. Someone to lean on.

Of course, not long after that, Liz had dumped him for Max and then all that weird shit happened...his dad obsessing over finding out "the truth about Max Evans" and then by some miracle that was unknown to him, the six of them--Liz, Max, his sister, Whitman, Guerin and Maria had all paired off, but somehow managed to seem like one big family.

Kyle remembered walking into the back of the Crashdown that day, the way her uncle was looking at her, had his hands on her. He remembered the terrified look in her eyes, and he hadn't hesitated in calling the bastard on it. When Liz admitted to him later that it was her uncle, he'd been shocked, and horrified. He knew without question that it wasn't the first time her uncle had harassed her...and he suspected that was a big part of the reason the six of them had been bound together, though he always had the feeling there was something else keeping them together, too. Some other reason they kept their group tight-knit and rarely permitted anyone else to join them.

He'd been one of the few that got to experience what it was like to be a part of that group, even though he'd always felt like he was a bit on the outside. He'd sat with them at lunch a few times, had hung out with them at the Crashdown and at the occasional school dance, but he never asked questions or expected them to reveal their secrets. He knew it wouldn't happen anyway.

Of course, for awhile, he'd still been jealous of Max, and of his relationship with Liz, but after he'd watched the two of them together for awhile, that faded away. He had seen the looks that passed between them, how they could communicate without speaking, and he was blown away. There hadn't been a doubt in his mind since then that Liz and Max belonged together.

So he'd wasted time in high school, played football, hung out with Tommy and Paulie, and occasionally with the six of them, and had never really given another thought to dating someone else from West Roswell High. He hadn't had hopes of finding a girl that would look at him the way that Liz looked at Max, and he didn't think he could feel that way about a girl, either.

It wasn't until the beginning of this past semester of college at U.N.M. that he'd started believing differently.

Cassie Owens transferred in from the community college in San Juan to begin attending the University of New Mexico. He remembered the first day he'd seen her there. He hadn't recognized her right away, but knew there was something familiar about her. She had shoulder-length red hair, pale skin and the most amazing, mesmerizing green eyes he'd ever seen.

By some twist of fate, their professor had assigned them to work together on an English project, and it was then that he remembered where he knew her from. She'd graduated in the same class as he had, had been part of his life since the first grade, and he had never even noticed her. Whoever said that sometimes when you look too hard for something you miss what's right in front of you, must have been a genius.

Cassie was everything he'd searched for, dreamed about. She was intelligent, fun to be with albeit a bit quiet, and when she smiled...it was as if the world lit up around her. Like everything was dull and pointless until the corners of her mouth turned up, and then everything seemed to come to life again. And they'd had more in common than he ever could have imagined.

Her mother had walked out on her at a young age, and she hadn't had anyone to lean on, either. Her father was still around, but, like Sheriff Valenti used to be, he was too busy to notice her. And as it turned out, they liked the same music, the save movies and tv shows, and though she never participated in sports, Cassie enjoyed going to his football and basketball games during the seasons. She was the most caring, kind person he'd ever met, and had more patience than anyone he knew.

And when he was sick of waiting, Cassie took his hand and squeezed it, as though she'd sensed what he was feeling.

He smiled at her, a slight smile to let her know he was thankful she had come back to Roswell with him. Kyle knew how much she disliked it here. The place didn't hold a lot of good memories for either of them...and apparently not for the other five people gathered in the Evans' living room.

Kyle watched as Michael sat on the couch, staring at the tv that was turned off. Across the room, Alex was still standing by the window, not moving. A few feet away from him, Max sat on the floor, back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling while Maria paced around the room. Isabel had disappeared into the kitchen a few minutes ago, and hadn't returned yet.

The whole group was losing its normally calm, cool composure.

Not that he blamed them. Kyle wasn't feeling so great either. He'd seen the look in Liz's eyes as her mother called her a liar. It was something he wouldn't forget as long as he lived. He might not feel the same way about Liz as he had back in high school, when he'd thought he was in love with her...but Liz wasn't someone that you could just stop caring about. And he didn't want to. He valued her friendship even though he didn't see her very often. In fact, he didn't have anything against any of these people at all anymore. And he didn't want to see any of them hurt.

He just wished he could do something to make them all feel better. But for now, he'd have to wait with the rest of them, and see how things turned out.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isabel leaned against the kitchen sink, staring out the window above it into the distance. Up until today, she had never lost her composure in front of a group of people other than her five best friends. And even that was a rarity.

She was Isabel Evans, Queen of Composure. Nothing could get to her. It was something she wanted people to believe...most of them, anyway.

And she'd never seen Liz fall apart like she had that morning, either. Sure, she'd seen Liz cry before, and she'd seen her upset, but the look on her face today was going to be something forever emblazoned in her memory. It was like her whole world had collapsed around her.

Isabel thought about Mrs. Parker's reaction to Liz telling her the truth about what Charlie had done to her. She'd gone from shocked, to confused, to denial to complete and total anger--all aimed directly at Liz.

Tears came to her eyes as she thought about it. Liz hadn't done anything wrong. She didn't deserve all the horrid things her mother had said to her. She couldn't imagine what Liz must be feeling right now. Isabel and Diane were close, very close, and always had been. Ever since the day that Diane and Phillip Evans came to adopt her and Max at the orphanage. Diane was home to Isabel.

Would she react the way Liz's mother had if Isabel told her who she really was? Would she think she was lying, or back away from her in utter disgust?

She didn't think she could handle that if it happened.

Isabel had always wanted to tell her mother the truth, but Max and Michael were very against it. Max was afraid of not knowing if their mother would still love them if she knew, and Michael was just afraid she'd turn them over to Sheriff Valenti, or to some government agency.

She had always been fairly sure that her mother would still love her--love all of them, and she felt beyond a doubt that her mother would never turn her over to any kind of authorities.

But after the way that Nancy Parker had reacted today to Liz's secret, she wasn't so sure.

Of course, she reasoned, Liz and her mother were never close to start with.

And the aching need inside of her was growing. She wanted to tell her mom. Wanted to tell her more than anything. One of these days she wasn't going to be able to handle the ache anymore.

* * *

Maria leaned back in her chair at Chez Pierre and waited for her meal. She resisted the urge to fidget in her seat as she glanced across the table at her mother and Sheriff Jim Valenti. Instead, she looked over at Michael, who was seated next to her, looking a bit uncomfortable. He smiled at her despite himself, and she managed a small smile in return.

Then Maria looked over at Kyle and Cassie, who were talking softly to one another, and sitting more than a little close.

"Kids, there's a reason we brought you here tonight," Amy DeLuca said, nervously running her fingers around the rim of her wine glass. Jim reached over and stilled her hand, lacing his fingers through hers and smiling at her in encouragement.

Maria's eyes narrowed and she felt Michael tense slightly at her side. She waited for her mother to continue, although she had a strong feeling she knew what was coming.

"Jim proposed a week ago. I said yes." Amy waited for her daughter's reaction, a nervous, almost pleading expression on her face.

Maria glanced at Kyle to see how he'd taken the news. He was smiling. Seeing Kyle happy about getting a step-mother and a step-sister, she suddenly realized that she didn't really mind it that much, either. Sure, if it had been in high school, this whole marriage thing could have been disastorous. Sheriff Valenti had been determined back then to find out "the truth about Max Evans" and had come pretty close a couple of times. But in their senior year, he seemed to lose interest in Max and had become more interested in Maria's mother.

Frankly, she was surprised that this hadn't happened sooner.

Maria smiled at her mother. "Congratulations." She got out of her seat and hurried around the table, giving her mother a big hug.

Amy DeLuca stood up, surprised that Maria seemed okay with the big announcement. She felt tears sting her eyes as she hugged her daughter. "Thank you," she whispered softly.

Maria turned to the sheriff. "If you ever hurt her in anyway, I hope you know that I'll have to kick your ass."

At the surprised look on his face, Kyle burst out laughing. "Watch it, Dad. She's not kidding. I remember the wrath of Hurricane DeLuca all the way back from Mr. Raddish's class in fifth grade."

Maria smiled back at him, and then turned to Michael, who was still a bit tense, but wearing his famous half-smile. Maybe this will work out, she thought.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm fine, really. I just want to get some sleep so we can head back to school tomorrow," Liz repeated to her friends as she crawled into Maria's bed, yawning.

Alex looked doubtful. She hadn't spoken hardly all day, and then a couple hours ago she'd come out of the Evans' bedroom cheerful, like nothing had happened. When Amy and Maria finished with dinner, they'd stopped by the Evans' to pick Liz up since she was spending the night with the DeLuca's.

Which was where the six of them were now, standing in the middle of Maria's room as Liz tucked herself into bed at 9 o'clock that night.

He glanced at Max, who looked just as doubtful as he imagined he did himself. The doubt was mirrored on Michael's face, as well, while a frown of deep concern was on Isabel's.

Maria held her hands up, as if to stop a big argument from occurring. "You know, I'm tired, too, and we do have to get up early to get back. Why don't you guys all head home and pick us up around 8, okay?"

Alex met Maria's eyes and then glanced past her to Liz, who looked as though she were about to fall asleep sitting up. "Okay," he agreed. He wasn't thrilled about leaving Liz after all that had happened that morning at the funeral home. None of them were thrilled with it. He walked over to the bed, and kissed Liz's forehead. "See you in the morning."

"Okay." She smiled at him.

Alex turned and hugged Maria. "Take care of her," he said quietly.

"I will," she promised.

He took Isabel's arm and waited for the others to say their goodbyes for the evening.

Michael kissed Maria. "See you tomorrow. Bye, Liz."

"Bye."

Max, still looking doubtful, walked over to Liz. He sat down next to her. "If you need anything, call me. I wish I could stay here with you tonight."

"It's okay, Max," Liz assured him quickly. He leaned down and kissed her on the lips, softly and gently.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," Liz echoed.

Max stood up and glanced at Maria, a pleading expression in his eyes. She just nodded. Then he turned and followed the others out the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So how do you feel, you know? I mean, about your mom and Sheriff Valenti." Liz listened for Maria's response as she stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on her best friend's ceiling.

"Well, I actually...don't really mind anymore. She seems really happy. And as long as he doesn't bother the Czechoslovakians, then...I guess I'm okay with it." Maria turned her head towards Liz, though she couldn't see her in the dark. "What about you? I mean, are you really okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. I've never been close to my mother anyway so it doesn't really matter."

"What about your dad though?"

There was a long pause. "I don't care. I have you and Max and Alex and everyone. You're my family."

Maria bit her lip. "Maybe you should talk to him before we leave tomorrow, Liz."

"No. Not now. Maybe some other time."

"If you're sure."

"I am. It's not important right now. I just want to go back to school and forget everything about the past three days. Speaking of which, we should probably get some sleep before they all come back over to pick us up." Liz looked at the clock. "Cause it's after 1 now."

"Right," Maria agreed. "Night, Liz."

"Goodnight, Maria."

* * *

Alyssa sat alone at a table in Ding. Another night of eating cold cereal for dinner. At least tonight the Frosted Flakes weren't stale.

She let her gaze wander around the cafeteria. She smiled at her friend Kris, who was sitting a few tables away with a couple of his other friends, and he smiled back. Her eyes roamed again and then fell upon a group of seven students three tables from hers. There were three guys and four girls.

One of whom was Missy Benedict.

Alyssa forced herself to focus on the girl sitting across from Missy. It was the same dark-haired girl she'd run into in the hall in Jewell a few days ago.

She frowned, unable to look away from the girl. She was smiling and laughing with her friends, but for some reason, Alyssa had the feeling it was a facade.

She tried to shake the thought from her mind. After all, she didn't even know the girl. Hell, she didn't even know the girl's name.

It was probably all in her mind.

But for some reason, Alyssa was almost certain that it wasn't her imagination.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isabel concentrated on eating her yogurt and smiling politely as Missy proceeded to tell them about every drinking stupor she'd had her freshman year at Blue Ridge. She knew her friends felt as uncomfortable as she did, but no one wanted to hurt the older girl's feelings by interrupting or...well, leaving.

Missy had a class with Maria and had joined them at the table without asking for an invitation, which, okay, was a little rude, but...

Isabel sighed inwardly. Okay, actually it was a lot rude. And it was annoying. And if the girl said the word beer one more time, Isabel was going to use her powers and attempt her first vaporization right there in front of the whole school.

She took a long drink of her cherry cola and attempted to calm her frazzled nerves. She had been on edge since they'd gotten back to campus a few days ago. She hadn't been sleeping well, and suspected that none of her friends had, either. She glanced at Max, who was apparently ignoring Missy and watching Liz with concerned eyes. Maria looked tired but was trying to be polite by listening to the girl's incessant chattering. Alex had a far off look in his eyes and Isabel suspected that he probably didn't even realize that there *was* an extra person at their table. Michael looked as annoyed as she felt. And Liz. Liz looked normal. Almost happy normal. Which was really weird considering the events of the last couple of weeks.

Isabel suddenly had the feeling they were being watched. Her gaze darted discreetly around the room, checking quickly for signs of Alan or Pete, but she didn't see them anywhere. She did, however, see a vaguely familiar face a few tables away. A girl with long, straight brown hair and glasses was watching them.

Correction.

Watching Liz.

She tried to remember where she'd seen the girl before and she suddenly realized that the girl lived in Jewell Hall, just a few doors down. What was her name? She wracked her brain, trying to recall if she'd ever known her name to begin with...

Adrian? Allison? Alisha?

Alyssa. That was it. Her name was Alyssa.

Now the question was, why was she staring at Liz?

As if she somehow sensed that Isabel was staring at her, Alyssa looked over and met her gaze and smiled slightly. Isabel smiled back, somewhat uncertainly. Then she casually turned her attention back to the conversation that now revolved around hangovers. She shoved her yogurt carton away from her and pretended to listen. Every now and then, she'd glance over at the girl, who seemed to have a growing fascination with Isabel's group of friends.

Isabel frowned deeply.

She'd have to keep an eye on the girl. Who knew what she was up to?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What can I do for you today, Liz?" Debra Jacobs asked as Liz sat on the exam table in her office.

"I've been getting these really awful headaches," Liz began. "They last for hours and they make me sick to my stomach."

"Does sunlight or bright light seem to worsen the pain?"

"Yeah."

Debra nodded. "Do you know if anyone in your family has a history of migraines?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted.

"Do you have any allergies to medicine?"

"No."

"Okay, I'm going to give you a prescription to lessen the frequency of the headaches and the intensity when you do get them. Okay?"

Liz nodded and Debra smiled. She relaxed slightly and leaned back against the wall. She liked this doctor. Well, actually, the woman was a nurse practitioner, but she was friendly and seemed to know what she was doing all the same.

Debra handed her the prescription. "There you go. You can get this filled at the drug store next door. You take one pill in the morning and one before bedtime. And if you have any problem with it, call me immediately. If I'm not here, have someone take you to the 24 hour health clinic on Water Street, okay?"

Liz nodded and slid off the exam table. "Thank you."

"Sure. Bye, Liz."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria re-shelved some books in the library while Michael sat at a table a few feet away. "I swear. Is it really that difficult to put these in the right order?"

He glanced up from his magazine. "For some people apparently."

She rolled her eyes. "Then those people shouldn't be in college. I mean, it's not hard to figure out that Ra comes before Re. Hello? We learned the alphabet in kindergarten."

Michael suppressed a grin.

She switched aisles, re-organizing another shelf. She pulled one book out and started to file it when she caught sight of the title. "Live the Life You Love," she murmured. She flipped through the pages curiously and decided to check it out.

"I'll be right back," she told Michael.

"Okay." He didn't look up and she was sort of glad.

She went to the front desk and wrote her name on the card inside the book's cover and filed it under the checked out card folder. Maria scanned the book's label and then tucked it inside of her bookbag.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz dropped her purse onto her bed and sighed heavily as she sunk down onto the mattress. She rested her face in her hands for a long moment. Her head was pounding furiously. She massaged her temples gently, then reached over and pulled out the bottle of painkillers that Debra had prescribed for her. She unscrewed the cap and reached for her bottled water on her bedside stand. She quickly downed two of the pills and slid the bottle back into her purse.

Her gaze drifted to her answering machine, which was blinking.

She hit the play button.

"You have 2 messages."

"Liz, this is Dana. It's Tuesday. You missed work today and yesterday. Is everything okay?"

"Liz, this is Dana at the clinic again. We're getting really worried about you. You haven't been to work in over a week. Please call me as soon as you get this message."

Liz stared down at the flashing machine for a long moment.

Then she hit erase.

* * *

Liz stared down at her food tray un-enthusiastically.

"Mmm. Mystery meat," Alex commented as he sat down next to her. "The mystery is, if I eat the meat, will I survive?"

Michael made a face. "I'm goin' with no."

Maria picked up the slice of meat with her fork and held it in the air, the let it drop back to her plate with a sickening plop. "I'm not eating it."

"You guys should eat cereal. It's the only way to go," Missy Benedict said with a laugh as she sat down.

Liz suppressed a groan as the girl chose the seat right across from her. She seemed okay, but all she ever wanted to talk about was alcohol. She felt Isabel tense up next to her and she gave her a questioning look. But Isabel's eyes were elsewhere.

Liz followed her gaze to a girl sitting three tables. She looked vaguely familiar. Her hair was long and brown and her eyes were grayish-blue. "Isabel?"

Isabel blinked. "What?"

"Who is that?"

Before her friend could respond, Missy turned to look. "She's bad news."

"What do you mean?" Isabel asked, frowning.

"I mean just what I said. She's bad news. Avoid her at all costs," Missy warned.

"What's so bad about her?"

Liz studied Isabel for a moment, trying to figure out what she was pressing the issue.

Missy took a deep breath and leaned forward. "She worships Satan," she whispered.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max was already late to dinner as he hurried out of the computer lab. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going and ran into Professor Draya. "Sorry," he said immediately.

She smiled at him. "That's okay. How's Liz?"

He frowned in confusion. "Fine...why?"

Prof. Draya frowned as well. "She hasn't been to class in two weeks. I assumed she was ill."

Max stared at her, unsure of what to say.

"Well, when you see her, please have her get in touch with me."

"Yeah. Sure. No problem," he agreed. He stared after her. Liz hadn't gone to psychology for two weeks? She never missed class.

Frowning, he turned and walked to the cafeteria. He opened the door, stepped inside and glanced around. He spotted his friends at a far table, groaning when he saw that Missy Benedict was sitting with them. Again.

He quickly moved through the dinner line, grimacing at the choices of slop and more slop. When he got his drink, he headed over and sat down in the only free seat--diagonally across from Liz, next to Missy.

"Hey, Max," Michael said.

"Hey," he replied, gazing at Liz, who was staring down at her tray.

"How much money do we pay in tuition to this school?" Alex asked, sitting back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest.

"Enough that I'm gonna be in debt for the rest of my life," Maria muttered.

"So in theory, they should be able to provide us with edible food, am I right?"

"We should have a bar, too. For the students that are of age, of course," Missy interjected.

Max rolled his eyes and watched as Isabel got up from the table, looking irritated. "See you guys later."

"Oh, hey. Some guys in North are throwing a party tonight. Free alcohol. Can you make it?" Missy asked.

Isabel smiled sweetly. "Thanks, but there's a special about dust mites on Discovery tonight." She walked away.

Alex and Michael both snickered and Max hid a grin. The smile faded from his face as he looked at Liz again. Now she was staring at someone behind him.

Max turned to look and saw a vaguely familiar looking girl sitting there at a table, staring back at Liz. "You know her?"

Liz blinked a few times and refocused her eyes on him. "No." She glanced at her food, which she had barely touched. Not that he could blame her. "I think I'm ready to go."

"You headed back to Jewell?" Alex asked, glancing at her.

"Yeah."

"I'll walk with ya."

"Actually," Max interrupted, cutting his eyes to Liz. "I need to talk to you. Alone."

Alex, Michael and Maria all looked at him, but he ignored them and stood up, keeping his gaze locked on Liz. Worry settled on her face and she stood up as well. They carried their trays to the trash cans silently, then left the cafeteria.

"I ran into Prof. Draya a little while ago. She said you haven't been to class for two weeks." Liz kept walking. Max caught her arm. "Liz, what's going on?"

She turned to face him. "I just haven't been feeling well in the mornings. I've been having these really bad headaches and I'm tired all the time."

He studied her, concerned. "Maybe you should go see a doctor."

"You're right. I'll make an appointment Monday," she agreed.

He let go of her arm. "I'll go with you."

"Why? You don't trust me to go on my own?" Liz demanded.

Max stared at her, shocked at her tone. "No, that's not it. I just meant I'd go for support."

Her eyes softened. "I'm sorry, Max. I'm just...I haven't been sleeping well and it's putting me on edge."

"It's okay," he assured her.

"Well, I should probably get back to Jewell. I've got statistics homework to do."

"Oh." He couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.

"But...if you're free later, I could drop by around 9."

Max smiled. "Sounds great. See you then."

"Okay." Liz turned and walked away from him.

He stared after her.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz was almost back to Jewell when she heard someone call her name. She turned and saw Missy hurrying to catch up with her. She sighed, not really in the mood to deal with the older girl anymore that night, but she waited anyway.

Missy smiled at her. "So...you and Max are going out?"

She nodded cautiously.

"Is it serious?"

Liz's eyes narrowed. "Yes."

"So then, just between us girls...is he as intense in bed as he is in conversation?"

She froze. "Excuse me?"

"I've heard that the quiet guys are always the best in the sack." Missy waited expectantly.

"I..."

"Don't tell me you two have never done it!" Missy stared at her. "I thought you two were serious about each other."

"We are. But Max isn't like that. He's not--"

"Oh, please. They're *all* like that. You have to keep 'em satisfied to hold on to them, Liz. Because if you don't, some other deserving girl will come along and make sure he gets satisfied."

"Is that some kind of threat?" Liz stared at her.

Missy smiled and tossed her long blond hair over one shoulder. "I'm just saying...if you don't want what you have, someone else would be more than happy to take over."

"Oh, and I suppose that someone else would be you?"

"One among many."

"You wouldn't have an ice cube's chance in hell with Max." She turned and headed for the entrance.

"How sure of yourself are you, Liz?" Missy called after her.

Liz ignored her and opened the door to her dorm. How dare that girl threaten to try and steal Max from her. She walked down the hallway towards her room.

It's not like she didn't want to make love to Max. They had discussed it a few times, but it seemed like one of them wasn't ready when the other was. Usually her.

Liz unlocked the door to her room and stepped inside. She stared at herself in the mirror. Maybe there was something wrong with her. The thought of sex--even with Max--was scary. She frowned at her reflection.

Was Missy right? She knew Max had desires. Not that he'd ever pressured her in any way. But was she being unfair to him? They'd been together for four years and hadn't made love. She knew that Michael and Maria had long ago given into the temptation. They had both been fine. Nothing weird had happened. She wasn't sure about Alex and Isabel, but she assumed they'd been together in that way, as well.

She knew Max would never cheat on her. She wasn't worried about that. But he was bound to be frustrated from their lack of physical connecting.

Liz continued to stare at herself in the mirror. It really wasn't fair to Max. He'd stayed by her side through thick and thin, never asking for anything in return. And when it came right down to it, what was so scary about it?

It's just sex, she thought. People do it every day. No big deal. It's just another biological process, like eating and drinking. And it's not like I'm a virgin.

She tilted her head to the side. She could handle it. She almost smiled.

Tonight was the night she'd make love to Max for the first time.


	5. Chapter 5

Max heard the soft knock on his door and glanced at the clock. 9:00. Liz was right on time, as usual. He smiled. "Come in," he called.

The door opened and Liz stepped inside, wearing a long black coat that was tied at her waist. "Hi." She smiled at him.

"Hey." He watched her carefully, sensing that something wasn't quite right.

She glanced around. "Where's Michael?"

"I think he's spending the night at Maria's. But I'm not sure."

"So I guess that means we've got the place to ourselves," Liz commented, her eyes locking on his.

"Yep," he agreed, somewhat surprised by the suggestive nature of her remark. Not that they hadn't spent time alone together in his room before--they had, lots of times. Just not recently.

She moved closer to him where he was sitting at his desk chair. For a moment, her eyes were clouded with hesitation. Then she closed them and leaned down to kiss him.

Max's own eyes drifted shut and he put his arms around her waist and tugged her down until she was sitting on his lap. Their kiss deepened.

He was lost, completely and totally oblivious to anything except for Liz's lips and the feel of her body pressed against his. All of the events of the past couple of months left his mind and flew out the window.

God, he'd missed this. Missed her. How had he ever gotten through so many days without touching her, without kissing her?

"Max," she whispered against his lips.

"Hmm?" He kissed her earlobe.

"Max," she said again. She caught his face between her hands and gazed at him. "Make love to me, Max."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There. She'd said the words. Said them without her voice trembling, gave away no clue that she felt like she could throw up at any given second.

Max just stared at her, shocked into silence.

Liz willed herself to remain calm and still, not to get up and run out the door.

"You want to..." his voice trailed off.

"I want you to make love to me, Max," she repeated, her words sounding a million times more strong and confident than she felt.

"Liz...are you sure?" Max whispered, gazing at her in concern.

She almost said no. She could have; she knew Max wouldn't have been angry or upset. He would never pressure her in any way. But she was going to go through with this. She needed to prove to herself that she was normal. And how could she do that if she couldn't make love to the man she was in love with.

Liz slid off his lap and stood up. She untied the sash holding the long coat closed and shrugged it off her shoulders. It dropped to the ground silently, leaving her standing in a red silk button-down blouse and black skirt.

"I'm sure," she lied.

Max swallowed hard and stared at her for a moment. Then he met her gaze again. "I love you."

She smiled despite herself and waited for him to make the first move.

He drew in a slow breath and turned on the radio to a soft rock channel. Then he dimmed the lights with his powers. He held his hand out for her.

Liz moved forward and placed her hand in his. He sat down on the edge of the bed and she did the same.

Max leaned towards her and kissed her again, but this kiss was different than the sweet, soft kiss they'd shared moments ago. This one was hot, full of lust and desire. He nibbled on her lower lip, his hands running through her hair.

As much as she loved Max for wanting to take things slowly and make their first time together perfect, part of her just wanted to get it over with so the increasing anxiety inside her would go away. Her hands fumbled for the bottom of his shirt and she quickly pulled it off over his head.

Max gently lowered her to the bed so she was lying down on her back, her heart pounding wildly. He leaned over her and kissed her again as his hands trailed down her body, undoing the buttons on her blouse one by one until her shirt was gaping open.

He drew away and stared down at her. "You're beautiful," he murmured. He lowered his head and and kissed the side of her neck, suckling lightly, his tongue hot against her skin. One of his hands gently cupped her breast and caressed her gently through the cotton material of her bra, then did the same to the other breast. He kissed her lips softly as his hand traveled lower to the elastic band of her skirt.

Sweat broke out on her forehead and she fought down a wave of panic.

This is Max. This is Max. This is Max, she kept repeating to herself in a desperate attempt to keep control over her spiraling emotions. This is Max, the guy you love, who would never hurt you and this is perfectly normal. People do this all the time.

_"Hey little girl is your daddy home?  
Did he go and leave you all alone?  
I got a bad desire  
Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire..."_

Liz froze, suddenly unable to breathe as Uncle Charlie smiled down at her. _"Did anyone ever tell you how sexy you are, Lizzie?" he whispered._

"No!" she screamed as she shoved him off her.

"Liz? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Max asked anxiously.

She blinked. Once, twice. She swallowed hard and stared back at Max.

"Liz?"

_"Tell me now baby is he good to you  
And can he do to you the things that I do?  
Oh, no, I can take you higher  
Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire..."_

Tears sprang to her eyes and she rolled out of bed, hastily buttoning the buttons on her blouse.

"Liz, what is it? Did I do something wrong? Are you all right?" Max put a hand on her shoulder.

She shuddered and pulled away from his touch. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's not your fault, Max." She grabbed her coat off the floor and pulled it on, unable to turn and face him.

"Liz, please, tell me what's wrong," he pleaded.

"I can't....I can't...I have to go now," she choked out as she hurried to the door. She no sooner made it down the hall than she literally ran right into Michael.

"Whoa, easy," he said, surprised. He steadied her with both hands on her shoulders. "Liz? Are you all right?"

She shook her head wordlessly.

"Liz! Wait!" she heard Max call.

Another surge of panic shot through her and she pushed past Michael and fled the lobby into the dark night.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Maxwell, what's going on?" Michael asked as he caught his friend's arm.

"I can't explain it right now. I have to talk to Liz." He tried to break free of Michael's grip.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," he said, shaking his head. He had felt the fear coming off Liz. No, not fear. Sheer panic plain and simple.

"Michael, let go of me!"

"Let her calm down first, Max--"

Max yanked his arm free and ran after Liz.

Michael sighed and rubbed his forehead. He didn't know exactly what was going on, but he had a really bad feeling about it.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria sat at her computer, typing a paper for her lit. course that was due on Monday when she felt the door slam from the next room. She turned and looked at a wide-eyed Isabel, who had been reading Frankenstein.

There was a loud pounding sound on the same door a moment later. "Liz! Let me in! Please, I have to talk to you!" she heard Max shout.

Maria and Isabel both rose to their feet and headed out the door and into the hallway.

"Max, what's going on?" Isabel asked.

He ignored her. "Liz, please," he said, sounding desperate.

Maria had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

The door opened a moment later, and Liz emerged, her clothes disheveled, her face pale and streaked with tears. "Max, please, just leave me alone for now," she said hoarsely.

"I can't. Liz, you keep pushing me away, you keep telling me you're fine, but you're not. I know you!"

"You don't know me! You don't know me, Max! You can't because I don't even know me anymore. Please just go, okay? I need to be alone." She started to close the door, but Max stopped her.

"No, I won't go away. Tell me what's going on with you so I can help you. Liz, please!"

"I can't."

"Why not? Why are you being like this? Why are you being so shut down about everything?"

"Because that's the way I have to be." She tried to close the door again,.

Max stepped forward and caught her wrist. "That's not good enough. I deserve a better answer than that!"

"I'm sorry. Because that's all I can give you, Max." Liz's tone changed from emotional to a much more frightening one. A tone of defeat. "You're right. You *do* deserve better." She brushed away the tears off her cheeks despite the fact that more instantly to their place. "But I can't be what you need me to be right now. I can't. I'm empty inside. There's nothing left that I can give you. I'm all used up, Max. I'm not the same girl you fell in love with."

Max stared at her. "Are you...are you breaking up with me?"

There was a moment of horrible silence.

Then Liz whispered, "Yes. I'm sorry, Max. This isn't about you."

"Why won't you just let me help you?"

She stepped out into the hallway. "You can't help me." There was that tone again. Total and utter defeat. "No one can help me." Liz turned and walked down hallway towards the exit.

Maria glanced at Isabel, who nodded at her. Then she turned and followed Liz. "Wait up!"

Her best friend turned around, a sad but resolved look on her face. "Maria, please. I need to be alone right now."

A moment of understanding passed between them and Maria's heart broke for her friend. "Okay," she whispered.

"Thank you," Liz said softly. Then she turned and left.

Maria walked back to her other friends. Isabel was trying to ask Max what had happened, but he looked up and met Maria's eyes. "She shouldn't be alone right now."

A flood of sympathy for him washed over her. "She needs some time, Max," she answered quietly.

"Max, I'll walk with you back to your dorm, okay?" Isabel suggested.

"No. I want to wait here and make sure she makes it back okay."

"I'll call and let you know the second she returns, okay?" Maria said gently.

"Promise?"

"I promise." Maria and Isabel exchanged a concerned look and she watched as the siblings left the same way Liz had.

What the hell just happened here? Maria wondered.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael was surprised when Isabel showed up at his doorstep. "What--?" He caught sight of his shaken-up best friend standing behind her and he stepped aside to let them both in. "What happened?"

There was a moment of silence.

Max finally looked up and met Michael's gaze.

"Liz broke up with me."

* * *

"She's still not back yet."

Isabel's frown deepened as she saw the worry intensify on Maria's face. "Where do you think she may have gone?"

"I don't know." Maria ran one hand through her short blond hair. "She looked so..."

"Defeated?" she finished quietly.

"I've never seen her like that, Isabel. I've seen her upset and I've seen her angry but now..." Maria's voice trailed off. Isabel watched as she started to pace the floor again. "I can't even imagine what caused her to break up with Max," she continued. "I mean, he's her entire universe, you know? God. I just...I wish I knew what was going on with her. I don't understand why she won't talk to me!"

"She's shutting everyone out, Maria."

"But why? We're a family! We're supposed to be able to go to each other when we're having problems."

Isabel remained silent. She understood Maria's frustration, but she didn't want to add to it by voicing her own frustrations. She wanted to know what was going on just as badly as Maria. Since the six of them formed a connection back in high school, Liz and Maria had been like her sisters. And she was truly worried that Liz was headed for trouble.

There was a noise from the hall and Maria immediately stepped through their open dorm door and peered out.

"Is it Liz?" Isabel asked hopefully.

"No." Maria turned to face her again, her eyes filled with tears. "God, where *is* she?"

"Maybe she went over to Alex's." Isabel reached over and picked up the portable phone that set on the nightstand between their two beds. She punched in his number.

"Hello," he mumbled sleepily after the fourth ring.

"Alex, it's me."

"Isabel?" He sounded confused.

"Yeah. Is Liz over there with you?"

There was a moment of silence. "No."

"Well, have you seen her recently?"

"Not since dinner. Why?"

Isabel shook her head at Maria, then turned her attention back to her boyfriend. "She and Max had some kind of fight and she broke up with him and took off. That was a couple of hours ago. She hasn't come back yet. We don't know where she went."

"I'll be right there." The line went dead.

"Alex is on his way," she told Maria as she hung up the phone.

"Maybe she went back to Max's," Maria suggested, not sounding like she believed it.

Isabel didn't believe it, either, but it was worth a shot. "I'll call." She picked up the phone again, this time dialing Max's number.

"Liz?" Max said anxiously, the phone not even going through a complete ring before he picked up.

"No, it's...it's me, Max," she answered, feeling guilty for getting his hopes up.

"Is she back yet?"

"No, we were hoping she'd gone back to your place."

"God, Isabel, where is she?" Max sounded desperate.

"I don't know, Max," she said quietly.

"If anything happens to her..."

"Nothing's going to happen to her. We won't let it. Max, let me talk to Michael for a second."

A moment later, she heard Michael say her name. "How's Maria?"

Isabel glanced over at her. Maria was still pacing the floor. "Not so good."

"Max either," he said quietly. "We need to do something."

"I agree. I think--"

"What's going on?"

Isabel turned to look at Alex, who stood in the open doorway, looking tense and wide-awake.

"Isabel?" Michael asked.

"Alex just got here. I'll get back to you." She hung up the phone.

"Alex, Liz is missing," Maria blurted out, dangerously close to crying.

He didn't hesitated in wrapping his arms around Maria. "What happened?" he asked, looking at Isabel.

She stood up and ran a shaky hand through her hair. "We were in here doing homework and we heard Liz's door slam. Then we heard Max trying to get her to let him in, so we went out to see what was going on. Liz opened her door, they argued, and she took off. That was at 9:30."

"So she's been gone for almost four hours?"

Isabel nodded, wishing she had called Alex much sooner.

"What if something's happened to her?" Maria whispered.

Alex shook his head and held her tighter. "Maria, everything's going to be all right." He took a deep breath and met Isabel's gaze. "Okay, here's what we're going to do. Isabel, you and I will head over to Max and Michael's dorm. Then we can split up and look for her. Maria, I need you to stay here in case she calls or comes back, okay?" Maria nodded meekly and he kissed her forehead. "We're going to find her."

Isabel dug a couple of flashlights out of the back of her wardrobe and handed one to Alex.

"Wait!" Maria dumped the contents of her purse out onto her bed and grabbed her cellular phone. She handed it to Alex. "If you find her, call me, or if she comes back, I'll call you guys. Isabel, do you have your phone?"

She nodded and followed Alex down the hallway. "Maria, campus security is on duty patrolling until three. Call them and let them know what's going on. Maybe they've seen her," Isabel said over her shoulder.

"Okay."

She glanced at Alex. "She's gonna be fine, Alex," she said, trying to reassure herself as much as him.

"I hope you're right."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa glanced at her bedside clock. It was 1:45 in the morning and she had finally gotten her paper written. Now she'd have the entire weekend to just relax. Starting right now, she thought. I can actually go to bed early for a change.

She stood up and grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste and headed for the restroom when a cold chill washed over her. She shuddered, then stepped into the dimly lit hallway. As soon as she moved she could hear someone crying.

Alyssa hesitated, not wanting to disturb whoever it was. But as the sound continued, she found herself inexplicably drawn to it. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open and stepped inside.

She was surprised to see the pixie-esque blond girl from down the hall standing in front of the mirror trying to calm herself down as she dabbed at her eyes with a wet paper towel. Alyssa recognized this girl. She was always hanging around the same group of people as the girl with the long dark hair.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

The other girl looked up, startled. Then she looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't be. I just wanted to know if you were okay." She glanced at her sideways. "I'm Alyssa West."

"I'm...Maria DeLuca. And I'm fine. No, I'm not." She choked back another sob. "My best friend is missing."

Alyssa's heart skipped a beat. "Your best friend?"

"Yeah. Liz. She lives in the room next to mine." Maria took a deep, shuddering breath.

"And she's missing?"

Maria nodded, new tears filling her eyes.

Alyssa put an arm around her shoulders. "Why don't you let me fix you a cup of tea?"

Maria grabbed the portable phone off the sink and Alyssa lead her out of the bathroom and across the hall to her room. "Can we leave the door open? In case she comes back?"

"Yeah, of course. No problem," she agreed. She guided Maria into a chair and then set about fixing the promised tea. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"I don't know. She was really upset. She and Max were fighting and...she broke up with him and then she just ran off." Maria put her head in her hands.

Alyssa stirred the tea and turned on the hot plate underneath it, trying to keep her own emotions calm. "Now Liz is...the girl with the long dark brown hair?"

"Yeah."

Her stomach clenched. "Tell me about her."

"I met her in first grade. She's been my best friend since then. Well, until we met Alex...he's our other best friend."

Alyssa could hear, could feel the anxiety in Maria's voice. It was so thick it was almost tangible.

"She's trustworthy and loyal...and all the things a best friend is supposed to be, you know? And usually, she's like the most responsible, most reliable person I know."

"Usually?"

"Lately she's been acting...different. Shut down. She won't talk to me or Alex or any of our friends. God, I'm just...I'm worried about her. This isn't like her." Maria stared down at the phone on her lap.

Alyssa handed her the cup of tea.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." She turned away from Maria and closed her eyes, attempting to conjure up a mental image of Liz, glad to be able to put a name with the face. She imagined her standing in an open field, and then envisioned a glowing white shield wrapping completely around her. "Protect her, keep her safe and bring her back," she whispered under her breath. She began to repeat the mantra.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Liz!" Michael shouted, shining his flashlight around as he carefully made his way down the path to the library. "Liz!"

He didn't get any response, but then, he hadn't really been expecting one. From what little he'd managed to get out of Max, Liz had been very upset when she took off. And from his own personal experience, he knew that their chances of finding her were slim if she didn't want to be found.

Which, under different circumstances, might have been okay. Like if she had taken off during the day and came back before dark.

But it was dark. Very dark. And she was out somewhere by herself at night. Granted, there didn't tend to be a lot of crime in Blueridge, but she was a pretty young female and there was no telling what some guys would do to her if given the opportunity. Guys like Alan.

Michael shuddered involuntarily and hoped they'd find her soon.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex checked to make sure Maria's cell phone was still turned on before he slid it back into his jacket pocket. He gripped the flashlight in his hand and swung it around to the treeline behind the track.

Surely Liz wouldn't have gone into the woods alone after dark. Would she?

He shivered against the cold wind and moved closer to the edge of the trees and shone the light. "Liz!" Alex paused for a moment and listened closely, hoping for a response. But there was nothing. Just eerie silence.

Then he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. A figure was halfway hidden behind some bushes. He swung the light over and the figure ducked out of sight. "Hey! Liz?" He headed towards the same direction.

Alex felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "Well, I'm sufficiently wigged," he muttered. He scanned the forest with his flashlight again, then started to back away slowly, every nerve and muscle in his body on alert. Whoever was in those woods was most definitely not Liz. And he had no real desire to find out who it was.

Curiosity had killed the cat. And he wasn't a cat. But he wasn't a fool, either. Every instinct he had was screaming for him to back away. That's exactly what he was going to do.

He turned and quickly jogged in the opposite direction. He needed to focus on the task at hand: finding Liz. Before she froze to death or someone else found her.

Alex shuddered.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isabel glanced at Max as he continued shouting Liz's name. "Max."

He snapped his head over to look at her. "What?"

"If she doesn't want to be found, she's not going to answer," she said gently.

"What if she's out here somewhere hurt or scared? Isabel, she's all alone," he whispered, his eyes tearing up.

Isabel stopped walking and wrapped her arms around him. He cried on her shoulder. "We _will_ find her, Max. She'll be all right. You'll see."

"I can't lose her, Iz. She's everything to me."

Isabel closed her eyes. "I know she is. You won't lose her. I promise." She just hoped it was a promise she could keep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria finished the last sip of tea Alyssa had made her and set the cup down on the girl's dresser. She stared down at the phone and willed it to ring.

Instead, she heard the main door to Jewell Hall West Lowers swing open. She was on her feet and out in the hallway in two seconds flat. Complete and utter relief washed over her and she ran towards her best friend. "Liz, thank God you're back! I've been worried sick!" She threw her arms around her.

For a moment, Liz was like a statue. Then she moved slowly and hugged Maria back.

Maria pulled away and looked at her. She was only wearing a thin black coat that tied at the waist. "God, Liz, you're freezing!" she exclaimed. "I'll fix you some hot chocolate or--"

"No," Liz whispered, her teeth chattering. "I need to sleep."

Maria stared at her.

"Is everything okay?"

She turned to see Alyssa standing in the doorway of her room, watching with concerned eyes. "Liz, are you all right?" Maria asked worriedly.

She nodded slightly. "Tired."

Maria turned back to Alyssa. "She's okay. Thank you so much for the tea and everything."

"You're welcome. If either of you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

Maria watched as Liz turned to look at Alyssa. The two girls stared at each other for a long moment and she shivered. Then she tugged Liz's arm and pulled her down the hallway to her dorm room. She pushed the door open and ushered Liz inside. Liz sat down on the edge of her bed, looking dazed as she shivered from the cold.

Maria cast a worried glance at her, then dialed Isabel's number.

"Hello?"

"Iz, it's me. Liz just came back. She's here with me now."

"Thank God. Is she okay?" Isabel asked anxiously.

"Yeah, I think so." She looked at her best friend, who had laid down and pulled the blankets over her. "I'm gonna call Alex and let him know."

"We'll track down Michael and come over."

"I don't think that's a good idea. She's already in bed."

There was a pause. "Okay."

"Listen, I'm staying over here with Liz tonight, okay?"

"All right. Then we can all get together at brunch later and regroup."

"Sounds good." Maria hung up the phone and dialed her own cellular number.

Alex answered on the third ring. "Yeah?"

"Liz is back."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know." Maria bit her lip. "She's already asleep. I'm gonna stay over here tonight."

"Should I come over?"

She rubbed her forehead tiredly and debated it for a moment. "I think we'll be okay for the night."

"Well, I'll leave your cell phone on. If you need anything, or if Liz does...call me. Please."

"I will. Thanks, Alex." She hung up the phone and exhaled deeply. She turned to look at Liz again. She was fast asleep, but shivering under the covers. Maria frowned and pulled an extra blanket out of Liz's closet and covered her with it. Then she climbed up to the top bunk and laid down.

But it was a long time before she fell asleep.

* * *

Alex glanced at the photos tacked up on Maria's bulletin board. Several of them were of him, her and Liz together, arms around each other. The Three Musketeers. There were a few pictures of Isabel and him, of Maria and Michael and of Liz and Max. Then there was one--taken just a few months ago--of the six of them together.

He studied the picture. They had taken a trip to Pike's Peak, and had asked some random tourist to snap the shot. Michael was standing behind Maria, arms wrapped around her waist. Max stood next to Michael, his arms wrapped around Liz. Alex stood next to Max, in the same pose with Isabel. Everyone was smiling.

Alex focused on Liz's picture. Her eyes were shining, her cheeks pink from the cold. She was vibrant in the photo.

"Are you ready for this?"

He turned to face Isabel, who was now dressed in a pink sweater and black jeans, her hair in a French braid. "Ready as I'll ever be."

They exchanged a look and he could sense Isabel's tension and nervousness, which didn't help quell his own anxiety one bit. He opened his arms and she stepped into his embrace wordlessly. For a long moment they just held each other. Then Isabel pulled away. "So I'll see you in a few minutes."

Alex nodded. "Yep." They walked into the hall and Isabel locked her door behind them. He watched as she headed out through the exit before he moved over to Liz's door and knocked on it.

Maria opened it a moment later and stepped aside to let him in. His gaze landed on Liz, who was sitting on the edge of her bed, already bundled up in her winter jacket. "Hey, Parker."

Her eyes flickered to his face for a brief second and then returned to the floor. "Hey."

He shot a look at Maria, who simply shook her head. "Okay then. Let's go to brunch, shall we?"

Maria pulled her lavender jacket on and glanced at Liz. "You ready?"

Wordlessly, Liz got to her feet and walked out into the hallway.

He exchanged a glance with Maria, who shrugged and followed Liz. Oh, yeah, he thought. This is gonna be a long weekend.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex watched as Liz seated herself at the end of the table farthest from Max, but across from Michael. Then he took a deep breath and sat down next to her across from Isabel. Maria sat in the empty chair to his right, across from Max.

For the first few minutes, everyone was completely silent. All eyes alternately watched Liz and Max, wondering exactly what had happened the night before. Max, who looked like he hadn't slept in at least a week, stared only at Liz, who stared only at her plate.

Alex made an attempt to break the tension. "So. Anyone else here think these hamburgers probably aren't from a cow?"

Maria wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Gross, Alex."

"My guess is some kind of roadkill," Michael said, adding to the conversation though his voice was devoid of humor.

Alex had to give him credit for trying, though. "What do you think? Raccoon? Opossum? Bear?"

"Bear?" Isabel repeated, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"There are bears in Colorado."

"When have you *ever* seen a bear that's been hit by a car?" Maria demanded.

"They have to cross the road, too, you know." He folded his arms across his chest at the looks his friends were giving him.

"Maybe it's skunk," Michael suggested.

"That's it. I'm getting cereal," Maria announced as she stood up.

Isabel held up her salad bowl. "That's why I rarely eat meat from here."

"I understand."

Alex looked to see Missy pulling a chair up to their table, scooting up to the end by Max and Maria's vacated chair. He saw Max shift uncomfortably and then noticed Isabel's irritated look.

"So, Max. You're a biology major, right?" Missy asked.

"Um...yeah."

"Well, I'm having some trouble with my anatomy class and I was wondering if you could help me."

Alex felt Liz tense up next to him. He glanced over at her. "Liz?" he said quietly.

She set her fork down, abandoning the macaroni and cheese she'd taken maybe two whole bites of. "I'm done eating." She stood up, picked up her tray and left the table abruptly.

Alex glanced across the table at Isabel, who nodded at him. He stood up as Maria returned to the table carrying a bowl of cereal. "Liz!" she called out. She set the bowl down and started after her.

"Maria." He caught her arm. "Let me."

She stared at him for a second, then nodded in agreement.

Alex grabbed his tray, chucked the remaining food in the trash and set the platter back on the return table. Then he hurried after Liz as she left Ding.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa glanced around for an empty table. As she spotted one across the room, she caught sight of Maria DeLuca, who waved at her. She smiled and waved back. Then she moved to the empty table and sat down. She tried to concentrate on eating her macaroni and cheese, but her attention kept returning to Maria's table.

Liz was notably absent from the group, as was the tall, lanky guy that usually sat with them.

Missy Benedict sat at the end of the table by Maria.

Alyssa's eyes narrowed and she wondered what trouble the girl was trying to pull now.

"This seat taken?"

She blinked and looked up at her friend, Kris Jones. She smiled. "Nope. Sit down."

He did as told and smiled back. "So, how've you been? We haven't had a chance to talk for awhile."

"I'm fine."

Kris studied her for a moment. "You're distracted."

Alyssa couldn't help but feel startled.

"Don't look so surprised. You think you're the only one around with psychic abilities?" he asked with a grin.

"Funny."

"Seriously. You look worried. What's up?" he asked, his voice concerned.

"Yeah. There is something," she admitted with a sigh. There was no use in trying to hide it from him, Kris knew her too well. Besides, maybe he could help her figure things out.

"I'm listening."

"There's this girl that lives down the hall from me," Alyssa began, dropping her voice. "I can't explain it, but there's something about her...it's like...like we're connected somehow. I don't know her, I've never talked to her except in passing, but I find myself drawn to her for some reason."

Kris's brow furrowed. "Go on."

"I think she's in trouble, Kris. I can't explain why, it's just a very strong feeling. And then all these weird things have been happening..."

"What kinds of things?"

"I've been having nightmares. Most of the time I can't remember much about them, but I do remember dreaming about the woods behind Jewell." Alyssa took a deep breath and pushed forward. "And there's something about Jewell itself. I've been feeling a...presence."

"You mean like a ghost?"

She nodded.

"Does it feel dangerous?"

She paused. "I don't know. It's not like a constant feeling. But it's definitely not my imagination." Alyssa sighed again. "I just...wish I knew what's going on. And what I'm supposed to do about it."

Kris reached across the table and patted her arm. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"I hope so." Her gaze drifted back to Maria's table again, her eyes locking on Missy.

He turned to see who she was looking at, then turned back to her, grimacing. "Guess she's finally over Matt."

Alyssa's eyes darkened. "Looks like," she agreed, as she watched the other girl lean closer to the guy sitting across from Maria.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex had walked Liz back to her room, and though she hadn't said anything to him, she hadn't closed the door in his face, either, which he was taking as a good sign.

He watched as she began going through her clothes, separating the whites and the darks. He wanted to talk to her, to find out what was going on in her mind, but he didn't know where to start. It wasn't the first time, either. In the past few weeks, he found himself at a loss when it came to talking to his friend.

His gaze drifted to her night table, where a framed photo of Max and her at prom set. Max had on arm around her waist. Liz was smiling in the picture. He was struck by how happy she'd looked. He searched his memory, trying to remember the last time he'd seen her really smile, let alone look happy. He couldn't remember. It had to have been weeks, months. "Liz?"

She turned to face him, her eyes devoid of light.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." She turned back to sorting laundry.

Nothing, right. Which is why you look like death warmed over, he thought. He stared at her. She had distanced herself from all of them and he couldn't help but wonder if it had been a subconscious act or if it had been an intentional effort on her part.

Then Alex realized that it didn't matter. Because he wasn't going to let her push him away. Liz had been his best friend for almost his entire life. She'd always been there when he needed her. And he knew that she needed him now, but didn't want to admit it.

Alex stood up and crossed the room to her, fueled by his newfound determination. "Liz."

She turned to face him again, startled to find him standing so close.

He gazed down at her. "I know you're not happy. I know you haven't been for a long time. And I know that you don't want to talk about whatever's bothering you. That's fine. I'm not going to try and force you to tell me what's wrong. But I want you to know something. I'm here for you, anytime you need anything, day or night. I'm not giving up on you, Liz. You can try and push me away or ignore me or yell at me or whatever, but I'm not going to disappear on you. You can't get rid of me. Got it?"

Liz stared at him with wide eyes. Then she nodded slowly. "Thank you, Alex," she whispered.

He held his arms out and felt relieved when she walked into them. He hugged her back tightly. "Whenever you're ready, Liz."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Unravel me  
A distant cord  
On the outside is forgotten  
A constant need  
To get along  
And the animal awakens  
And all I feel is black and white..."_

Liz shivered and gave up on laundry as she felt the pressure building inside her skull. She didn't care if she got her clothes washed this weekend or not. She left the clothes in piles on her floor and moved to the desk and picked up the bottle of migraine pills. She got a bottle of water from her mini-fridge and swallowed down three of the tablets with a big gulp of water. Then she shut off the overhead light. Now all she wanted to do was to get warm again.

Liz crawled into bed and snuggled down under the covers. She stared outside her dorm window. It was starting to snow. She suddenly remembered how excited she and the others had been when they'd started school there the previous year and had seen snow for the first time. That night it had snowed eight inches and the six of them had a huge snowball fight the next day. The memory brought tears to her eyes.

_"The road is long  
The memory slides  
To the whole of my undoing  
Put aside  
I put away  
I push it back to get through each day  
And all I feel is black and white  
And I'm wound up small and tight  
And I don't know who I am..."_

She felt something inside her snap and she started to cry. She could vividly recall the look on Max's face the night before when she'd broken up with him. So many emotions had been present in that look--shock, hurt, betrayal, fear, sadness, disbelief--and she had been the cause of all of it.

Max deserved so much better than that. He'd done nothing but be there for her, love her, support her. Always, without falter.

And her heart broke because despite that, she knew she'd done the right thing. Max *did* deserve better than that. Better than her.

Because she was nothing but damaged goods.

_"Unravel me  
Untie this chord  
The very center of our union  
Is caving in  
I can't endure  
I am the archive of our failure..."_

* * *

Liz was awakened by a loud knocking on her door. She thought briefly about not answering it in lieu of going back to sleep, but whoever it was seemed very persistent.

She opened her eyes, then immediately closed them again when she was visually assaulted by the streams of light coming in through her window. She pushed the blankets off her, then shivered as she was blasted by a burst of cold air. She opened her eyes enough to see her favorite red sweater lying in a pile on the floor. She reached down, grabbed it, and pulled it over the purple sweater she'd fallen asleep in. She was still cold, but it was an improvement.

Liz shuffled towards the door. Her arms and legs felt like they'd been replaced by lead weights. She felt more tired than she had a couple hours ago when she'd cried herself to sleep. Her Sarah McLachlan Surfacing CD was still playing. She didn't recall hitting the repeat button, but she must have. Sarah's beautiful voice was drown out by the loud knocking. She winced as the sound reverberated inside her skull.

She grasped the door handle with one hand and unlocked the locks with the other. When she pulled the door open, she was surprised to find herself face-to-face with Maria and Michael.

"Liz, thank God! What's going on? You haven't been answering your phone and when you wouldn't come to the door again we were afraid something had happened to you." Maria looked at her anxiously.

She rubbed a hand over her bleary eyes. "I fell asleep," she mumbled.

Maria and Michael exchanged a look.

"What's wrong?" she asked, suddenly realizing that something may have happened to Max or Alex or Isabel. "Did something happen?"

"Why don't you tell us," Michael responded, gazing at her.

She blinked in confusion. "What?"

He turned to face Maria. "Why don't you let me talk to Liz for a few minutes, okay?"

Maria looked hesitant, but then nodded. "I'm going to go say hi to Alyssa down the hall. See you soon." She disappeared out of the doorway and down the hall.

"Can I come in?"

Liz nodded despite the fact that she didn't feel up to company. Her head was pounding like a drumbeat. She closed the door behind him as he stepped inside.

"What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." She moved over to her desk and picked up the bottle of migraine pills the doctor had given her. She pried open the lid and shook two out.

"Bull. What happened with you and Max the other night?"

Liz shut her eyes as spots of color danced in front of her. She swallowed down the pills and steadied herself against the desk chair, gripping the back of it for support. "Michael, I really don't feel like discussing this right now," she said quietly, wincing as the pain threatened to overwhelm her.

"Fine." She opened her eyes and saw Michael staring at her intensely. "We don't have to discuss anything. But I have something to say. And you're going to listen."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria knocked on Alyssa's dorm door and waited silently in the hall. A moment later the door opened and Alyssa peered out at her. "Hi."

"Hi," Alyssa replied, not looking too surprised to see her.

"I...wanted to stop by and say thanks again for helping me out Friday night."

"Oh. No problem. Do you want to come in?"

Maria smiled. "Yeah."

Alyssa moved aside and let her in. She motioned to the bed and the chairs. "Make yourself comfortable. Would you like something to drink?"

Maria sat down on the edge of Alyssa's bed. "No, I'm fine, thanks." She glanced around the room. When she'd been in there two nights ago, she hadn't really taken notice of the furniture or decorations. Now as she looked around she saw several U2 posters tacked onto the walls. The book shelves were lined with books ranging from the Bible to books on Buddhism, Judaism, Native American Shamanism and other religions. There was an entire section on different types of psychic powers, like ESP and telekinesis.

"I'm a world religions major," Alyssa told her, noticing her studying the impressive collection of books.

Maria looked up. "What year are you?"

"This is my senior year."

"Wow."

"Yeah, it's hard to believe this is my last year at Blueridge."

Maria's eyes widened when she saw the deck of tarot cards sitting on the desk. "You read tarot?"

"Yeah."

"That's so cool!"

Alyssa smiled. "I'll read your cards sometime if you'd like."

"That would be great," she answered enthusiastically. Her gaze fell upon a framed photo on the bedside stand. It was of Alyssa and a good-looking guy sitting underneath a giant shade tree holding hands.

"That's my fiance Matt."

"You're engaged? When are you getting married?"

"This coming June, actually. After graduation."

"I haven't seen him around campus."

"No. He, uh, actually lives in Florida. We did meet here, though."

Maria was about to ask her how they met when she caught sight of another photo lying on the stand. It was of Alyssa and several other people, Matt included. But in the picture, Alyssa was standing at one end of the shot and Matt at the other, Missy Benedict's arms wrapped around his waist. Her eyes widened and she looked up at Alyssa.

"That's a really long story," she said quietly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be like nosy or anything."

"Don't worry about it." She waved her hand in dismissal. "How's your friend Liz?"

Maria met her gaze. "I wish I knew."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael focused his gaze on Liz and willed himself not to lose his temper. "You've been acting weird for weeks. We've all noticed it. I know you've been through a rough time. But you're pushing us away when all we want to do is help. How are we supposed to do that if you won't let us?"

"Michael--"

"So you break up with Max like he's the reason for all of your problems."

She shook her head. "I never said--"

"He has always been there for you, Liz. He's always loved and respected you and taken care of you. And this is how you repay him?" Michael's voice rose slightly. He felt all of his anger and frustration rise to the surface. "And then after breaking Max's heart, you pull a disappearing act in the middle of the night! You took off alone after dark and put yourself in danger so you could run from your problems. What the hell were you thinking, Liz? Do you have any idea how scared Max and Maria were? How scared all of us were? Do you even care?"

Liz didn't respond. She just stood in front of her desk, her hands clutching the back of the desk chair. Tears glittered on her eyelids.

"And yesterday. You just got up and left the lunch table without telling anyone goodbye."

She looked up at him in confusion, but he continued before she had the chance to say anything.

"You locked yourself in your room for hours and wouldn't answer the telephone or the door. Isabel used her powers to come in and check on you and she said you were sleeping. You didn't show up to dinner last night. Max is so messed up over this whole thing he wouldn't get out of bed this morning. You have to stop this self-induced isolation and go talk to him."

Liz shook her head slowly, tears shining in her eyes. "I can't."

"This isn't just about you anymore! This affects all of us. Quit being so damned stubborn and go fix your problems with Max!" he said angrily.

"Stop it *right* now."

Michael turned and saw Alex, Maria and Isabel standing in the doorway.

Alex regarded him with a look of warning. "Michael, we need to talk. Outside. Now."

He glared at Alex, then stormed out of Liz's room and followed him down the hall, the girls trailing behind him. They walked out of Jewell Hall.

The minute they were outside, Alex turned and glared at him. "What the hell are you trying to do?"

"I was trying to help!"

"You call that helping?"

"Someone has to try and get through to her!"

"And you thought you could do that by yelling at her?" Alex demanded.

"What do you suggest? Talking to her sure hasn't done any good," he pointed out angrily.

"Neither does backing her into a corner and screaming in her face," Alex responded. "You can't force it out of her, Michael. You can't just shake her and expect she's going to open up about whatever's bothering her."

"What the hell are we supposed to do then?"

"We're supposed to back off and give Liz some time."

"You want to leave her alone to deal with whatever it is? Yeah, that's a great plan," Michael said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"No, of course that's not what I meant. I just meant that we shouldn't push her. When she's ready to talk to us, she will."

"This has been going on for weeks. And I for one, am getting tired of it. I say we all go in there and--"

"Gang up on her?" Alex finished. "Because that's exactly how she'd feel."

"Okay, time out," Isabel spoke up. "We are all worried about Liz and Max, and we obviously have different opinions about how to handle it. But Alex, Michael's right. This has been going on for way too long. We have to do something."

Alex looked away, his jaw tense.

"I agree that something needs to be done, but Alex's right. If we all do in there, she's going to feel like we're ganging up on her," Maria said softly.

"So then what else can we do?" Isabel asked.

"We can be her friends. We can hang out with her and be supportive of her without demanding to know what's wrong just because we want to know," Alex said without looking at anyone in particular. "We can be patient and give her time to work through things on her own."

"She's not going to be able to work through on her own. She's been trying that for weeks," Michael said, shaking his head.

"She needs us, Alex," Maria said.

He nodded in agreement. "Yes, she does. But she hadn't realized that yet. When she does, she'll ask for help. Until that happens, all we can do is let her know we're there for her and that we love her."

"So basically you're saying do nothing and hope for the best," Michael replied sarcastically.

"I'm saying that sometimes when you're falling you can grab onto a ledge and pick yourself up. And that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before your realize you need help getting back up again."

"So you just want to stand by and watch as Liz hits rock bottom?"

"Do you think I *like* this?" Alex demanded. "Do you think I like to see Liz hurting? She's been my best friend for practically as long as I can remember. I'm frustrated that she won't talk about what's going on with her, too. I want to help her just as much as you do, Michael. But she has to want our help before we can do anything for her. If you don't give her the time she needs, if you push her...there's no telling what could happen."

"You're talking about her like she's a damned porcelain doll, Alex. She's not glass. She's not going to break."

"Are you sure about that?" Alex stared at him, then shook his head. "Because I'm not. And I'm not going to be the one that causes it to happen."

Michael stared back and then looked away. He hated that Liz wouldn't open up to anyone about what was wrong. But Alex had a point. If she didn't want to talk about it, they couldn't force her to. He glanced at Maria and Isabel and realized they had both come to the same conclusion. They all three exchanged looks and reluctantly nodded in agreement.

"Fine," he said, meeting Alex's gaze again. "One week. We do this your way for one week. If things haven't changed by then, we'll think of something else."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz sat down on her desk chair and stared at her digital clock. It was one in the afternoon. *Sunday* afternoon. But how could that be? She'd only fallen asleep a little while ago. Or so she'd thought. Had she really slept for over 24 hours? It didn't make any sense. She was still exhausted.

_"...all the memories, pain and anger  
Flood back one by one  
They must be just around the bend  
They always come  
At night as I lay sleeping  
They come to me in herds  
Their lies remain, the dream's the same  
It's only fleeting words..."_

In the back of her mind, the song playing on her CD player registered amongst her other rapidly swirling thoughts. Something was *not* right here.

_"No one calls there in the shadows  
There's no end to the dark  
But there's one out there, no one but me..."_

She recognized the song. It was indeed Sarah McLachlan singing. She was a big fan and had all of the talented singer's albums. But this was a song from Sarah's album Touch.

Liz had fallen asleep listening to Surfacing. She knew she had. And she hadn't changed CD's since she'd woken up.

She stood up and crossed the room slowly. She picked up the Surfacing CD case and opened it. The CD was inside the case. A chill ran down her spine. If she hadn't changed the CD, who the hell had? She was pretty sure Isabel wouldn't have switched them when she'd come in to check on her.

_"The hours pass so slowly  
The life's slipping out of me  
No way's the right way  
Is there a way out for me..."_

Liz shuddered.


	6. Chapter 6

Max was the first one of his friends to arrive at Ding for dinner that night. He hadn't been out of his room all day except to take a shower. Now he was hoping to have a chance to talk to Liz.

They'd been together too long and he loved her far too much to give her up without a fight. There had to be some way to get through to her. There had to be.

"Hi, Max."

He looked up from his spot in line to see Missy smiling at him. He groaned inwardly. "Hi."

"Thanks so much for helping me with anatomy yesterday."

"Sure." He turned to the food service worker and pointed to the mashed potatoes and gravy. The guy dished it out and handed it to him. Max took his tray and sat down at the gang's usual table. Time to concentrate on figuring out what's wrong with Liz, he thought.

He waved at Maria, Alex, Isabel and Michael as they walked into the cafeteria and got in line for food. To his great disappointment, Liz was not with them. Maybe she'll be here soon, he told himself. But he didn't really believe it.

She was avoiding him.

Missy sat down next to him.

Max seriously contemplated asking her if she'd ever heard the word stalker.

His friends joined them at the table a moment later. Isabel had a thoroughly disgusted look on her face as she sat down across from him. It was always so easy to tell when his sister didn't like someone. But Missy didn't seem to notice Isabel's dislike.

"Where's Liz?" Max asked, glancing at Maria and Alex.

"She's...not coming until 5:30," Alex answered, not looking at him.

His heart sank. Yep. Definitely avoiding me, he thought. He suddenly lost his appetite.

"That's too bad," Missy said sympathetically. "Don't you have to work then?"

He saw his friends exchange glances. "Uh...yeah," he answered.

"Are you like stalking him or something?" Isabel asked sharply.

Missy laughed, oblivious to the venom that was laced in his sister's tone. "Of course not. We're just becoming good friends. Right, Max?"

Max shifted uncomfortably. He hated being mean to people, and while she was annoying, she hadn't really done anything to deserve being treated badly. "Uh. Right."

Isabel narrowed her eyes at him.

"So, I was hoping that maybe late you could help me with studying for my anatomy test some more. I can never remember the technical names for all the parts of my body. But at least I know what they all do and they all function properly." She smiled and laid her hand on his arm.

Next to him, Michael choked on a drink of his Pepsi.

Max flushed with embarrassment as Alex, Maria and Isabel stared at the girl.

"Oh, my God," Isabel said suddenly, her eyes wide. "Missy, your ear is bleeding!"

Max looked over, then frowned and looked at Isabel in confusion.

Missy leapt to her feet. "I'll be right back."

"Wait, you might need some help. I'll go with you." Isabel stood up. Maria did the same and they ushered her towards the restroom.

Alex stood up and grabbed Missy's tray and carried it to the garbage can. He dumped the food in the trash then set the tray on the return table.

Max looked at him questioningly as he returned.

"She won't need it. When Maria and Isabel are done 'helping' her," Alex explained, making quotation marks with his fingers. "She won't be coming back."

Max couldn't help feeling relieved.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isabel exchanged a look with Maria as they followed Missy into the girl's bathroom. Missy stood in front of the mirror and examined both of her ears. Then she turned to look at them with a scowl on her face. "I'm not bleeding."

"Not now. But you will be if you don't stay away from Max," Maria snapped, glaring at her.

Missy rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She started for the door.

Isabel blocked her path. "She's not kidding. Max is with Liz."

"That's funny. I heard they broke up. Which means that Max is very available," she replied coolly. She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

Isabel narrowed her eyes.

"It's a temporary situation," Maria informed her. "They're getting back together."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"You don't. Max and Liz--they're soulmates. They're head over heels in love with each other and have been for like, ever. So just back off," Maria warned.

Missy smirked. "We'll see about that."

Isabel had had enough. She moved until she was standing directly in front of the other girl and glared down at her. "Max is my brother. And Liz...she's like a sister to me. So, if you fuck with my family, you fuck with me." She dropped her voice dangerously low. "And believe me. You do *not* want to fuck with *me*."

Missy's eyes widened and she stared at Isabel in shock. Then she moved past her and darted out the door.

Maria looked at her. "Think we scared her?"

"Let's go see." Isabel lead the way, glancing around the cafeteria. "I don't see her."

"Mission accomplished," Maria said as she returned to her seat at the table.

Isabel sat back down as well.

"Dare I ask?" Max questioned.

She smiled sweetly. "You should just know that no one out-bitches Isabel Evans."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz left her dorm room at exactly 5:30. By the time she got to Ding, Max should have already left for work. She had considered totally skipping dinner, but since it had now been about 30 hours since she ate last, she figured she should at least try to find something to eat that might be edible.

She still had a migraine, but the pain killers had finally kicked in and the pounding in her skull had lessened considerably. Enough that she was confident to walk across campus without collapsing, at least. She shivered and pulled the zipper up on her coat. It had only snowed a couple of inches overnight, but the air was chilly.

"Liz?" a voice said uncertainly from behind her.

Liz turned to look. It was that girl that lived down the hall from her. The one that Maria had mentioned a couple of times. But for the life of her, Liz couldn't recall her name. She waited until the other girl had caught up with her before she started walking again.

"Thanks for waiting."

"Sure."

She walked alongside Liz in silence for a few moments. Then she stuck out her mittened hand. "I'm Alyssa West."

Liz shook her hand. "Liz Parker. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Yeah." Alyssa smiled. "Your friend Maria seems really sweet."

"She is. She's great," she answered softly.

"She's also really worried about you." Alyssa glanced at her sideways.

"Yeah. I know," Liz admitted. She stared down at the ground as they continued the trek towards Ding.

"You know, I know what it feels like to have to carry around a huge secret. To be surrounded by all the people you love and who love you back that you want to tell the secret to but you feel like you can't for whatever reason. I know how hard that can be. How lonely and miserable and afraid it can make you."

The breath caught in the back of Liz's throat. "Who said I had a secret?"

"Everyone has secrets, Liz," Alyssa answered softly. "I just want you to know that if you need someone...someone to talk to who's on the outside of things...I'm just right down the hall. And I'm a pretty good listener."

They stopped just outside of the cafeteria and stared at each other.

Liz couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something about this girl. Not something bad, but something different. Unique. She nodded slowly, accepting her words. "Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."

Alyssa smiled at her. "Good." She pulled the door open and held it open for Liz.

She stepped inside Ding and grabbed a tray from the stand. She went through the line and selected a plate of chicken and dumplings and mashed potatoes. Then she exited the kitchen and glanced around for an empty spot. She was surprised to see Alex and Maria wave at her from their normal table. They were usually both gone by now.

Liz took a deep breath, butterflies fluttering around in her stomach as she walked over to them. "Hi."

"Hi," they said in unison.

"What are you guys still doing here?" she asked nervously.

Maria smiled at her. "Waiting for our Third Musketeer."

Liz sat down next to her and across from Alex. "You didn't have to do that."

"We wanted to." Alex smiled at her warmly.

The butterflies settled down a bit. "Where's--?"

"Max had to work, Isabel had a paper to write and Michael had a painting he wanted to work on," Maria informed her. "So, it's just the three of us."

Liz felt guilty for feeling relieved. She knew Michael was upset with her and Isabel was Max's sister, so she probably was, too.

"The chicken and dumplings actually aren't half bad," Alex told her.

"Quick! Liz, give me a pen so I can write that down. That's the first time in two years that Alex didn't insult the cooks or make roadkill jokes about the food," Maria said, feigning shock.

"The mashed potatoes are kind of lumpy, though," he added, ignoring Maria's sarcasm.

"Well, one out of two ain't bad," Maria said with a shrug.

Liz took a small bite of the chicken and dumplings. Alex was right. It was actually kind of...good. She took another couple of bites.

"So, what are my two favorite girls doing tonight?"

"You better not let Isabel hear you saying that," Maria warned.

He grinned. Then he looked at Liz. "Parker, any plans?"

Liz looked up. She didn't have any plans, of course. She'd just figured she'd return to her room and go to bed. But as she remembered the creepy incident with her Sarah McLachlan CD's, she found herself wishing to have somewhere else to spend the evening. "No. Not really."

"Maria?"

"Math homework. Like, a ton of it. What about you?"

"I have to come up with a list of ideas for my final speech."

"Isn't that like four weeks from now?" Maria asked, her nose crinkled in confusion.

"Yeah. But we're supposed to turn in a list of topic ideas by Tuesday. Ms. Leland wants the final speech to be polished. I have no idea what I'm going to do mine on." Alex sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Do you want some help coming up with ideas?" Liz asked tentatively, feeling the butterflies return.

He gave her a wide smile. "That'd be great. Your place after dinner?"

"Um, no. How about the library?"

"Works for me."

"Would you guys mind some company? I've sort of been struggling with this math class. I could use some help, too, if you don't mind." Maria looked at Liz hopefully.

She smiled. "I don't mind." The butterflies disappeared completely.

"Me either."

"Hey, I have an idea. I'll come up with ideas for your speech and you can do my math homework," Maria suggested with a grin.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Don't push it, DeLuca."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What about String Theory?"

"Too confusing," Alex replied.

"Time travel?" Maria suggested as she glanced up from her math assignment.

"Defies all the laws of quantum physics," Liz answered tiredly. She rubbed her arms up and down her sweater sleeves as she shivered.

"Here's one: Why math is stupid and pointless unless you're majoring in it."

Alex grinned. "I'm sure Ms. Leland would love that as a topic."

"Okay, how do I do this?" Maria asked, shoving the book across the table and pointing at problem #68.

Liz leaned forward and winced slightly as a sharp pain exploded in her head. She closed her eyes briefly then pulled the book toward her. She focused on the problem as best she could. "You have to square it in order to get rid of the square root before you can solve it."

"So then it's everything under the square root sign multiplied by itself?"

"No, when you square it, the square root sign cancels out the square. So it's just everything under the sign times everything else under the sign."

Maria shook her head. "Please tell me when I'm ever going to actually use this crap."

Liz and Alex exchanged a glance and they both shrugged.

"I knew it! This is just a whole big conspiracy, isn't it? To weed out the people who can't do this stuff and prevent them from getting a degree, thus stopping them from finding a good job and forcing them to live on the streets in poverty and total misery. God, I hate math," she ranted as she grabbed the book back and went to work again.

Alex grinned. "Okay. What about, 'How to hack into an FBI agent's computer?'"

Liz managed a feeble smile. "I don't think that's a talent you want to broadcast in front of a class of people, Alex. Is it cold in here to anyone else?"

"Are you kidding?" He stared at her.

"Liz, it's like an Easy Bake Oven," Maria responded, giving her a funny look.

"I'm freezing," she murmured.

"Here. Take my jacket."

Liz caught Maria's jacket as she tossed it across the table. "Thanks," she said as she slid it on over her sweaters and zipped it up.

"What about 'The life and death of Shakespeare?'" Alex asked.

"Boooring," Maria replied.

"You should do something about music. Like how to play the bass guitar. You could take your guitar in as a visual aide." Liz closed he eyes as the dancing lights appeared in front of her again.

"That's a good idea," Maria agreed.

Alex nodded. "I could do that. But I'm not sure I could--Liz? You okay?" he asked, noticing that her eyes were closed.

"Sorry. I'm listening. I've just got a headache." Liz opened her eyes and tried to give him a reassuring look.

"Maybe we should head back to Jewell," he suggested uncertainly, concern in his eyes.

"No. I'm okay. Really." She shivered again. "All right. What were you going to say?"

"I like the guitar idea, but I'm not sure I could give a 15 minute speech on it. Maybe she'd let me actually play a song. Like a demonstration. That would kill some time."

"Yeah. You could do 'Stairway to Heaven.' Then you'd only have to talk for like four minutes," Maria said with a grin.

Liz felt another wave of exhaustion hit her and she became less and less aware of her friends' conversation. All she wanted to do was lie down and sleep. She leaned forward and laid her head on the table, too tired to sit up anymore.

A moment later she heard someone calling her name, but the voice was too far off to try and call back to...

"Liz! Liz!" Alex had his arm around her waist.

"Alex," she mumbled, trying to lift her head.

"Easy. Don't sit up too fast," he warned gently.

"What happened?"

"I think you blacked out for a minute."

"Is she okay?" Liz heard Maria ask anxiously.

"I think you should go get Max," Alex told her.

Liz's eyes widened in alarm. "No! No, I'm fine," she said, even though it was a lie and she knew Alex knew it was, too.

He felt her forehead. "Liz, you're burning up."

"Please, just...don't get Max. Please." She pleaded with him with her eyes.

"Liz, either we get Max or we're going to take you to the hospital," Alex said firmly.

Tears burned her eyes and her head pounded viciously. "Hospital," she choked out.

"Maria, go get the jeep," he said instantly.

"My keys are in my room."

Alex pulled his set of keys out of his pocket and handed them to her. Maria took off. Alex stood up and held his hand out to help her up.

Liz slid her hand into his and rose to her feet. She was immediately slammed by a tidal wave of dizziness and she wavered unsteadily.

"Whoa, whoa." Alex moved closer and she leaned against him for support.

"Everything's spinning," she murmured, shutting her eyes again.

"Okay, put your arms around my neck," he instructed.

"What?"

"I'm going to carry you."

"Alex--"

"Don't argue. It'll be quicker this way," he said gently.

Liz was too exhausted to protest and in reality, she wasn't sure she had the energy to walk anyway. She wound her arms around his neck and leaned her head against his shoulder. Alex lifted her up easily and headed for the door.

* * *

Alex sat a couple of feet away from Maria on one of the emergency room sofas, Liz's feet in his lap, her head resting on Maria's lap. Liz was currently asleep but shivering violently.

Maria was stroking her hair gently. She looked over at him. "She's burning up, Alex," she said, her voice tinged with anxiety.

He nodded and looked at his watch. It was just past midnight and they'd been sitting in the waiting room for nearly three hours. There were only few other people waiting. An older couple in the corner was talking quietly and a mother of three was holding a small coughing baby in her arms and her two toddlers--one girl, one boy, ran around her chair in circles.

Alex carefully slid Liz's feet out of his lap and stood up. He walked up to the counter. "Excuse me."

The woman behind the computer looked up. "Can I help you?" she asked in a bored tone.

"My friend over there is really sick. She needs to see a doctor."

"Has she filled out the insurance and medical history papers?"

"Yes, we did that three hours ago," he answered, irritated.

"Have a seat and the doctor will see you shortly."

Alex stared at her, briefly wondering if she was a real person or some kind of robot. She'd told him the same thing three hours ago. He shook his head in disgust and returned to his friends. "This is ridiculous," he muttered to Maria.

"No kidding," she whispered back.

Liz stirred slightly but remained asleep.

"We should've taken her to Max."

He sighed. "Maria, she's sick, not hurt. Max couldn't have healed her anyway. It would have upset her more."

"What do you think happened between them?"

Alex shook his head. It was the first time the two of them had really been together without Michael and Isabel around to discuss it. "I don't know. I can't even imagine what could have happened for her to break up with him."

"You think they'll get back together though, right?"

"Of course they will."

"What makes you so sure?"

"They're Liz and Max," he said simply.

Maria nodded and leaned her head against the wall. She sighed heavily.

He glanced over at her. "Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah. I just...don't know what to do."

"About--?"

"Choosing a major. I'm running out of time."

"Ah." He nodded. "Well, imagine yourself ten years from now. What do you see yourself doing?"

"That's the problem, Alex. I can't picture my life ten years from now."

"Okay. How about this. What would you have fun doing every day for the rest of your life?"

She shook her head again. "I have no idea."

Alex frowned, unsure of how to help her.

"Liz Parker."

They both looked up to see a nurse looking around from the doorway. Alex waved. "That's us."

The nurse nodded at him.

Maria leaned over and shook Liz gently. "Liz, babe. Time to wake up."

Liz moaned in her sleep.

Alex moved and gently pulled her out of Maria's lap. "Come on, Liz," he said softly.

Her eyes opened and she looked at him. "Alex?"

"Right here, Liz." He didn't carry her this time, but she leaned on him heavily for support.

"Where are we going?" she mumbled.

"To see the doctor." He helped her and followed the nurse down the hall, Maria walking beside him.

The nurse ushered them into an exam room and Alex picked her up and carefully placed her on the exam table.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"She has a fever and a headache, and she blacked out earlier."

"How long was she unconscious?"

"Just a couple of minutes," Maria supplied.

"Did she receive any kind of head injury recently?"

Alex and Maria exchanged a glance. "Not that we know of."

"What's her name? Elizabeth?" the nurse asked, glancing through the charts.

"Liz," Maria corrected her.

"Liz," the nurse said, moving in front of her. "Do you remember hitting your head?"

"No."

She moved away and returned a moment later with a thermometer that she stuck under Liz's tongue. While she was taking her temperature, the nurse rolled up Liz's sweater sleeves and wound the blood pressure cuff around her arm.

A moment later she frowned and scribbled down the results in Liz's chart. The thermometer beeped and she removed it from Liz's mouth. "102.7," she told them, then wrote that down, too. "The doctor will be in shortly." She left the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

Liz laid down on the exam table and closed her eyes, still shivering.

Maria sat down in one of the chairs and leaned her elbows on her knees. She stared at the floor.

Alex remained standing. He walked around the small room, remembering the last time he'd been in an e.r. exam room. It had been their sophomore year of high school and Maria had dragged him to the hospital after Max and Liz had been in a car accident. He smiled slightly. It had been over four years ago, but he remembered that day vividly.

The door swung open and the doctor came in. He was tall and looked to be in his mid-40's with brownish-gray hair and green eyes. He looked at Liz, then at Maria, then at Alex. "Everyone out," he commanded.

Maria stood up and headed for the door. Alex moved over to Liz, whose eyes were now open. "We'll be right outside, okay?"

Her eyes pleaded with him. "Don't leave me," she said, her voice barely audible.

Alex glanced at Maria, who was waiting for him at the doorway, and then at the doctor, who was examining Liz's chart. "I'm staying."

The doctor looked disgusted. "I'm Dr. Richards. Please sit up."

Liz closed her eyes and struggled to do just that. She felt Alex's arm wrap around her shoulders to help her into a sitting position. She opened her eyes and looked at him gratefully.

The doctor shone a light in her eyes and she squinted against the brightness. "Have you been drinking? Taking any illegal narcotics?"

"No," she answered, shivering.

"Any chance you could be pregnant?"

"No."

"Are you sexually active?" he asked as he looked inside her ears.

"No," she said softly.

Dr. Richards looked doubtful and he cast a sideways glance at Alex. "When was your last period?"

"Um, a week ago." If she hadn't felt so terrible she might have been embarrassed to say that in front of Alex. But he didn't appear to be bothered by it, so she didn't give it another thought.

"Are you taking any medication?"

"Yeah. Inderal. For migraines."

Alex looked at Liz in surprise. He hadn't known that. Since when did Liz get migraines? And when had she gone to get medication for them?

Dr. Richards looked in her throat, then discarded the tongue depressor. He pulled on a stethescope and listened to her breathing. "Please lie down on your back."

Liz froze. Why did he want her to lie down? What was he going to do to her?

Alex noticed Liz's hesitation and he cleared his throat. "Why?"

Dr. Richards rolled his eyes. "I'm going to make sure her appendix is all right and check for stomach pain." He faced Liz again. "Please lie down."

Liz felt her heart rate accelerate and she looked helplessly at Alex, who moved to her other side and gave her a reassuring look. She slowly and reluctantly laid down as instructed.

The second his hands touched her stomach, panic wrapped its icy tendrils around her spine and she began to tremble uncontrollably.

Dr. Richards either didn't notice or chose to ignore her reaction as he continued with his exam.

Alex, however, took one look at Liz's face and realized that she wasn't shivering from the chills this time. She was afraid. He reached out and took her hand in his and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

Liz felt Alex squeeze her hand and she looked up and met his gaze. A bit of the panic subsided as she concentrated on the reassuringly familiar blue eyes of her lifelong friend.

"All right. I'm going to give you samples of an antibiotic for a sinus infection," Dr. Richards announced, moving away from her.

She sat up again with Alex's help and he sat down next to her, one arm around her. She leaned against him and let her eyes close.

"The antibiotic is called Suprax. You take one pill a day for seven days and that should clear up the infection. I am, however, concerned about your blood pressure. It's abnormally high. 200 over 110."

Alex stared at him. "What causes high blood pressure?"

"A lot of things, actually. Does your family have a history of high blood pressure?"

"I...don't know," Liz admitted, suddenly feeling like she was going to cry.

"Do you have a lot of salt in your diet?"

"No."

"Have you been under a lot of stress lately?"

Liz stared down at the floor as tears pooled in her eyes, unable to speak.

"Yeah, she has been," Alex said. "Do you think that could be what's causing it?"

"It's very possible." Dr. Richards wrote something in her chart. "I think you should have it checked out again in a couple of days by your regular physician. If it's still high, she might want to prescribe you something for it. In the meantime, I want you to get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluids and avoid stressful situations as much as you can."

"What about school and work?" Alex asked.

Liz didn't bother to tell him she hadn't gone to either in quite awhile now.

"I'd say no until the fever's been gone at least 24 hours. Then she can go back if she feels up to it."

"What about the fever? What should we do about that?"

"She can alternate between Tylenol and Advil every four to six hours as needed." Dr. Richards handed her the sample packets of Suprax. "Other questions?"

Alex glanced at Liz and when she didn't say anything, he shook his head. "I think that about does it."

"All right then." The doctor left without another word.

Alex slid off the table and helped her down, allowing her to once again lean against him for support. He lead her out into the hallway where Maria looked at him with worried eyes. "Sinus infection and high blood pressure," he told her.

Maria looked at him worriedly.

"Let's go back to Jewell."

She nodded in agreement and lead the way.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex waited as Maria unlocked the door to Liz's room. When she opened it, he helped her inside and over to her bed. Liz immediately tried to crawl under the covers.

"No, no, no. You can't sleep in all those clothes. It'll hold in the fever," Maria protested.

"I'm cold," Liz answered, her teeth chattering despite the fact there were beads of sweat on her forehead.

"Maria's right, Liz. We have to get your fever down." Alex glanced at Maria. "Will you--uh--help her?"

"Yeah. Go wait in the hall."

He retreated into the hallway without hesitation and pulled the door shut behind him. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes in exhaustion.

"Alex?"

His eyes flew open and he turned to see Isabel peering out her doorway at him. "Hey," he said tiredly, managing a small smile.

She stepped out and moved closer to him. "What's going on?"

He took a deep breath. "We borrowed the jeep. We had to take Liz to the e.r."

Isabel's eyes widened. "What?"

"We were at the library--me, Liz and Maria and she blacked out. She has a fever and her blood pressure's sky high. The doctor said she had a sinus infection."

"Is she okay?"

"She should be. He gave her some medicine and said to avoid stressful situations. Maria's in with her right now."

"Why didn't you call us? Max would have wanted to be there."

"She didn't want him there."

Isabel sighed in frustration. "This whole Liz-Max situation has just really gotten out of hand. They're having problems or whatever, but how are they ever going to work things out if she won't even be in the same room with him?"

"I know you're Max's sister and you feel bad for him, but right now I'm just worried about Liz. Something's going on with her and I don't think it has anything to do with Max. So that's what I'm concerned with now."

"So now Max's feelings don't matter? It's just all about Liz?"

"That's not what I meant."

"What *did* you mean?" Isabel folded her arms across her chest.

Great. Now she was on the defensive. "I meant...hell, I don't know what I meant. It's 1:30 in the morning. I just spent four hours in the hospital emergency room, okay? Forgive me if I'm not 100% coherent."

At that moment, Maria opened the door and stepped out. "I thought I heard voices. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Alex and Isabel both replied.

Alex looked at Maria. "How's she doing?"

"Her fever's still really high but I gave her some Advil. I think one of us should stay with her."

He nodded. "You have a test in literature tomorrow, don't you?"

"Yeah, but it's no big deal."

"No, you should get some sleep. I'll stay."

"You sure?" Maria asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you later in the morning."

"Okay, if anything happens--"

"I'll let you know."

"All right. Goodnight." Maria disappeared into her and Isabel's room.

Alex looked at Isabel, who still looked irritated. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to be rude or short with you before."

She sighed. "I know. We're all stressed out right now."

"So we're okay?" he asked hopefully.

She smiled and leaned over and kissed him softly. "We're okay. Go take care of Liz. If you need anything, we're right next door."

"Thank you," Alex said softly.

"Goodnight."

"'Night." He watched as Isabel disappeared into her room and closed the door. Then he took a deep breath and stepped back into Liz's room.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was sleeping--a restless, dreamless sleep. The slight breeze coming in through her open bedroom window provided little relief from the heat.

Somewhere in her mind, her subconscious registered that something wasn't right. There was a noise--a soft sound nearby, then silence.

_She twisted in the sheets sleepily, trying to get more comfortable. A moment later a hand clamped down over her mouth. Her eyes flew open and she clawed at the hand, trying to push it away._

_"I've been watching you, Lainie," he whispered. The voice was familiar but she couldn't place it..._

_He removed his hand but before she could scream, he'd covered her mouth with duct tape. She tried to see his face but it was too dark. He bound her hands together with more tape as he sat on top of her. Then his own hands moved away for a moment and when they were in view again, she realized he was holding a knife._

_He sliced open her nightgown and stared down at her. "I've been waiting for this for a long, long time, Lainie."_

_Her heart hammered in her chest._

_Please, God, no, she prayed._

_Suddenly she was in a different place, a different time. She stood in the middle of her room, clothes scattered around her floor and on her bed. She was glaring at her mother. "But I don't wanna wear the pink one!"_

_Her mother folded her arms across her chest, clearly fed up with the argument. "Your uncle sent you that dress for Valentine's Day and you are going to wear it to your party."_

_Her lower lip quivered. "But I don't *want* to!"_

_"Elizabeth, you're going to wear the dress and that's final!"_

_"No." Liz sat down on her bed._

_"Put the damned dress on right now!" her mother shouted._

_"I hate you," she mumbled as she pulled it on over her head._

_"I don't like you very much either." Her mother zipped the dress up in the back. "Now get downstairs. Everyone's waiting for you."_

_Liz left her room and headed down stairs. The Crashdown was decorated with balloons and streamers and a sign that read, 'Happy Birthday, Elizabeth!'_

_Little Maria DeLuca ran up, her blond curls flying. Alex Whitman was right behind her. "Liz! Happy birthday!" Maria threw her arms around her._

_"Thanks," she said, feeling a bit happier because her two best friends were there._

_Maria pulled away and looked at her dress. She wrinkled her nose. "Your dress is pink."_

_"I know. I hate it," Liz said, making a face. She looked at Maria's blue jean dress enviously._

_"I know how you feel," Alex complained as he pulled at the neck tie his parents had insisted he wear._

_"Time for presents!" her dad announced. "Come here, Lizzie!"_

_Maria grabbed her hand and stared to pull her towards the table. With her other hand, Liz reached back and grabbed Alex's hand and the three of them gathered around the stack of presents._

_"Open mine first!" Maria begged. She snatched a medium sized package off the table and shoved it into Liz's hands._

_Liz carefully peeled the tape back as her best friend bounced in her seat impatiently. She finally got the gift unwrapped and her eyes lit up. "A microscope! Thank you!" She hugged Maria._

_"You're welcome. Mom helped me pick it out."_

_She looked up at Maria's mother, who was smiling warmly. "Thanks, Mrs. DeLuca!"_

_"You're very welcome."_

_"Okay, mine next!" Alex said eagerly, picking up a large, rectangular box and setting it in front of her._

_Her eyes widened, surprised that he was giving her such a large gift. She opened it and found a telescope inside. She squealed in delight and threw her arms around her other best friend. "I've been wanting this for months!"_

_"I know," he replied with a grin._

_"Lizzie, here's the present your grandma Claudia sent you," her dad said, handing her a package._

_She eagerly tore into it. Inside were two books; one was about dinosaurs and the other was a thick, leather-bound journal. She'd been wanting one of those, too._

_She got all kinds of other cool gifts from her relatives; a lava lamp, a sand painting, and several books. The other gifts were all nice but her favorites were the ones her best friends had given her._

_"Cake time," her mother announced, placing a large chocolate sheet cake on the table. Eleven candles glowed brightly as everyone sang "Happy Birthday."_

_"Blow out the candles and make a wish!" her dad said, smiling at her._

_Liz gazed down at the huge cake decorated with a UFO and three little aliens. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Then she blew out the candles._

_"Way to go, Liz!" Alex said with a grin._

_Maria clapped gleefully. "You got all 11!" she said proudly, beaming._

_"Good job, Lizzie!"_

_She looked up, startled by the hauntingly familiar voice. Her heart sank as she looked up into the smiling face of her uncle Charlie._

_He put down the gift sack he was carrying and walked over to her. "There's my special niece!" Uncle Charlie picked her up and spun her around._

_"Uncle Charlie, please put me down," she begged._

_He set her on her feet and kissed her on the lips. "Happy birthday, Lizzie."_

_"Charlie, we're so glad you could make it," her mother said, smiling broadly._

_He hugged her, then hugged Liz's dad, as well. "Well, it's my girl's day. I wouldn't be anywhere else." He turned to face Liz again. "I have a special surprise for you. Let's go upstairs and you can open it," he said, picking up the gift sack and smiling at her._

_She started to protest, but Maria grabbed her hand. "I wanna come, too!" she said eagerly._

_Uncle Charlie paused and knelt down in front of her. He smiled at her. "Well, you're a very pretty little girl. What's your name?"_

_"Maria DeLuca."_

_"What do you think, Lizzie? Should we let Maria come and play with us?" he asked, gazing at her._

_Liz trembled and shook her head wordlessly._

_He smiled. "Maybe next time, Maria."_

_Maria let go of Liz's hand, pouting._

_Uncle Charlie took her by the hand and lead her upstairs to her room. He sat down on her bed and handed her the gift bag._

_Liz unwrapped one of the two packages. "A Super Nintendo!" she exclaimed, momentarily forgetting to be afraid as she got caught up in her own excitement._

_He smiled at her. "Do you want me to hook it up for you?"_

_"Yeah!"_

_He took the machine out of its box and started hooking it up to her tv. He looked over his shoulder. "There's still another present in there for you."_

_Liz tore open the paper and stared down at the pink, silk thong underpants._

_"Do you like them?" Uncle Charlie asked, towering above her. "They match the dress I sent you. Which I'm pleased to see you're wearing. You look so grown up, Lizzie."_

_She swallowed hard but didn't look up at him._

_He knelt down in front of her. "Try them on for me." Liz's lower lip trembled and she stood up to head to her bathroom. He caught her arm. "You can try them on here in front of me. It's okay. You're my special niece, remember?" When she didn't say anything or move, he smiled. "Do you want some help?"_

_"No," she answered with wide eyes. Feeling sick to her stomach, she slid her cotton underpants off without lifting up her dress._

_Uncle Charlie picked them up off the floor and pressed them up to his nose, inhaling deeply. "You smell so good," he whispered._

_Liz quickly slid on the thong while he was preoccupied._

_He glanced up at her. "Let me see."_

_"Uncle Charlie, I don't--"_

_"Come on now, Lizzie. I'll go ask your friend Maria to try them on for me," he warned. "I'll let her be my special niece."_

_"No," she whispered._

_"Then let me see."_

_Humiliated and terrified that he would do something bad to Maria, too, she lifted up her dress and he stared at her, breathing heavily. He rubbed himself through his denim blue jeans._

_"Come here, Lizzie. There's something else I've been waiting to show you. And you're a big girl now, so I think you can handle it."_

_Rooted to the floor by fear, Liz shook her head in silent refusal._

_"I've come a long way to give you these nice gifts, Lizzie. Don't be rude. Your mother and father would be very angry if you were rude to me. They might even send you away. You'd never get to see them ever or your friends or your grandma Claudia ever again. You wouldn't want that, would you?"_

_Tears filled her eyes._

_"Then come here," he said softly. He reached out and took her hand, smiling. "Lie down on your back on the floor, Lizzie."_

_She didn't want to, but what if they sent her away? She'd never see Maria or Alex or Grandma Claudia again. They needed her and she needed them. She laid down on the floor, already knowing what was about to happen. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and thought about all the fun she and Alex and Maria would have using her new telescope. Maybe they would discover a new planet or a new star and they could build a spaceship and fly there where Uncle Charlie could never find her again._

_Liz heard his zipper unzip and every muscle in her body tensed up. Think about Maria and Alex. Maybe on Monday they would play tag at recess or just climb a tree and--_

_"Open your eyes."_

_She did and trembled as he stood directly above her, naked from the waist down._

_"Go ahead. Touch it," Uncle Charlie urged her, squatting down slightly._

_Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes as she did as he told her to._

_He closed his eyes and moaned. "You know just how I like it. You're the best lover I've ever had."_

_Liz pulled her hand away, wiping the tears off her cheeks. Think about Maria and Alex, she told herself._

_He opened his eyes and squatted down farther. "Open your mouth, Lizzie."_

_Terror sliced through her, interrupting her thoughts of her best friends. "No!"_

_"It's just like a lollipop. Don't worry, you'll love it," he said, touching himself._

_She shook her head._

_Uncle Charlie reached down and squeezed her nose shut, forcing her to open her mouth in order to breathe. The second she did, he thrust his penis down into her mouth._

_She gagged and choked, unable to breathe as he moved in and out of her mouth. The world toppled, colors exploded in front of her eyes, pain ripped into her skull._

_She couldn't breathe. She was going to die._

_Moments later, something spurted into her mouth and down her throat and Uncle Charlie pulled his penis out of her. She gagged and almost threw up until he covered her mouth with his hand, preventing her from doing so._

_"Swallow, Lizzie," he whispered._

_She didn't want to, but she didn't have a choice. Tears streamed down her cheeks._

_Uncle Charlie smiled down at her and then sat down next to her on the floor. "Now let me do something nice for you."_

_"No," she said, shaking her head. But the movement caused the lights to explode in front of her eyes again. The pain increased._

_"Now, it's your birthday. I insist." Uncle Charlie slid his hand under her dress, the pink dress that she hated so much. He cupped her through the thong and closed his eyes briefly. Then he opened them and smiled at her again as he pushed two thick fingers inside her roughly. She cried out and he leaned over and kissed her, his tongue pushing past her lips._

_Then he pulled away and frowned as he noticed her tears. He bent down and licked them away. He moved his free hand up and squeezed her nipples one at a time through the material of the awful pink dress. "Big girls don't cry, Lizzie. You know this would never happen if you weren't such a sexy little girl. But I just can't help myself," he whispered as he pulled his fingers out of her body and licked them. "You're my special niece."_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No, no, please don't!"

Alex sat up in alarm at the terror in his best friend's voice. "Liz?"

"Please don't touch me, please no..."

He slid off the top bunk and dropped down to the floor. He flipped on her bedside lamp. Liz was tossing and turning, obviously trapped in the midst of either a nightmare or a hallucination. She was drenched in sweat, her face completely pale, tears streaking down her cheeks.

Alex touched her forehead gently. She was burning up. He looked at the clock. It wasn't quite 6 a.m. He quickly pealed the covers off her. Then he moved to her nightstand where he had left a bucket of water and a wash cloth. He dipped the cloth in the water and wrung it out. He sat down next to her on the bed and placed the cool cloth on her forehead.

"No, Uncle Charlie, please don't..." she whimpered.

Alex tensed at the name and moved to wake her.

"Maria, Alex, help me, please!"

The breath caught in his throat. "Liz, wake up," he said urgently, shaking her gently.

"No! No!" she cried as her eyes flew open and she lashed out with her arms and legs.

"Liz, it's okay! It's okay, it's just me!"

She stopped moving. "Alex?" she asked in confusion.

"Yeah. It's okay. You were having a nightmare," he told her, feeling a tightness in his chest. God, was this what had been going on with her all this time?

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Alex. Did I hurt you?" she whispered fearfully, fresh tears shining in her eyes.

"No, no, you didn't."

"I'm so sorry," Liz whispered again, trembling.

"Liz, I'm fine. It's okay, I promise," he assured her. He opened his arms to her and she started to cry as she crawled into them.

Maria had helped her change into a cotton t-shirt and a pair of shorts earlier. And now as he held her, he was stunned to realize that she had lost as least ten pounds in the last few weeks. He hadn't noticed it before because she'd been wearing baggy sweaters and sweatshirts.

He cursed himself silently. Why hadn't he realized sooner what had been going on with her? Why hadn't he put two and two together and figured out that this was what was wrong, what had been bothering her all along? The more he thought about it, the more sure of it he became. What kind of a friend was he?

"Sorry about crying all over you," Liz whispered as she pulled away.

Guilt washed over him. He was a lousy, lousy friend and she was the one apologizing. "It's not a problem. Feel free to continue. That's what best friends are for." Yeah, some best friend I am, he thought.

Liz rested her head on his arm. "You should go to your room and get some sleep."

"I'm actually not tired. But I do need to get up and get you some Tylenol. Your fever's back up again." He moved off the bed and grasped the bottle with a shaking hand. He closed his eyes. Get it together, Whitman. You need to be the strong one here. She needs you.

Alex opened his eyes, shook two Tylenol out of the bottle, poured a glass of water and carried them back to Liz. She swallowed them down without a word.

He set the cup down on her nightstand. Then he gently wiped her forehead with the cool wash cloth.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm afraid to go back to sleep."

Alex felt her tremble under his hand as he carefully touched the cloth to her cheek. "What can I do?" Whatever she said, he'd do it. If she told him to throw himself off a ten story building because it would make her feel better, with the crappy way he was now feeling, he probably would have done it.

Of course, Liz didn't suggest anything like that.

"Tell me a story."

He shut his eyes before she could see the tears that formed there at her vulnerable request. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She was the smartest, kindest princess in all the land. Everyone loved her. Especially a prince from a faraway land called Czechoslovakia..."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max sat slumped down in a chair in Ding at breakfast. A half-drank glass of orange juice set in front of him on the table.

A moment later, his sister and Maria joined him. They both looked exhausted.

"You guys look as good as I feel," he muttered.

"We were up half the night," Isabel said.

Maria shot her a look that she ignored.

"Why? What happened?" He looked from Maria to Isabel.

Both remained silent.

"Something happened, didn't it? Something with Liz." He focused his eyes on his sister. "Tell me."

"Isabel," Maria warned.

She sighed. "Maria, this has gone on too long." Isabel looked right at him. "She's sick, Max. Maria and Alex too her to the e.r. last night."

"What?"

"She was running a fever and she blacked out for a second--" Maria began.

Max was on his feet and out the door before she said another word.

"You have a really big mouth sometimes," Maria snapped.

"It's time somebody did something."

"Yeah? Well, Liz isn't supposed to get stressed out, Isabel. wait. I know. All you care about is your brother. Silly me, I forgot."

Isabel glared at her. "I care about Liz, too. We all do. We just want to help, Maria. So grow up." Without another word, Isabel picked up her tray and left.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex rubbed his eyes and headed for the door. The knock came again. He sighed and pulled it open.

Max stared at him. "I need to see her."

He motioned Max outside the room and stepped into the hallway. "I guess you heard."

"What the hell happened?" he demanded.

"She has a sinus infection. Her fever just broke about an hour ago. Her blood pressure was really high. The doctor said it's probably due to stress."

"I'm going in to see her."

Alex nodded in agreement. "Just...take it easy on her, okay? Don't demand answers right now. She was really sick earlier."

Max nodded. "I won't."

He watched as Max stepped into Liz's room and shut the door. Then he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, praying to God that Max would be able to help her.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max gazed down at Liz, whose eyes were closed. He didn't want to wake her, so he'd just wait until she woke up on her own.

As it turned out, he didn't have to wait long. Her eyes fluttered open. "Max?" she said in confusion.

"Yeah, I'm right here."

"What...how did..."

"Shh. It's okay. Alex let me in. I know about what happened, Liz."

She sat up, her eyes wide. "What? You dreamwalked me? You promised you'd never--"

"Liz, no. I didn't dreamwalk you. I meant that Isabel told me you got really sick," he said in concern. "I would never dreamwalk you without your permission. You know that."

She relaxed and leaned back against her pillows. "I'm sorry, Max. I'm just..."

"Stressed out," he finished. "I know."

Liz looked away.

Max reached out and took her hand. "Liz, I love you," he started.

"Max--"

"Please, just let me get this out. I love you. You are my heart, my soul. You mean everything to me, Liz. And nothing, *nothing* could ever change that. As long as I'm breathing I'm going to love you with everything that I am. We will get through this, Liz. I promise we will."

Tears filled her eyes. "I love you, too, Max. You know I do. But right now there are things going on inside of me that I have to deal with. And I just...can't give you anything right now. I don't have anything to give you."

"Liz, the only thing I need is you." He wiped away the tears that fell on her cheeks.

"Max, don't you see? I can't even give you that right now." Her voice was desperate.

He took a deep breath and attempted to reign in his own emotions. "Please don't shut me out. Liz, if what you need is just some time away from us...from our relationship, it's okay." It killed him to say it, but if that's what it took to get through to her, he would deal. "We can be friends. Just friends. For as long as you need."

"We've never been 'just friends,' Max," Liz said quietly. "And I can't ask you to wait for me. I don't know when...or even if I'll ever be able to be the person...to be able to offer you anything. And that's no way to live."

"You didn't ask me to wait. But whether you like it or not, that's what I'll be doing. Because no one could ever take your place, Liz. I could never love anyone else. You're it for me. And I'll wait until all the stars fall from the sky and if you still aren't ready, then I'll wait some more."

She tried to smile, but her lips quivered and she started to cry. Max reached out and pulled her into his arms. "Whatever you need me to do, Liz, I'll do it. Just tell me."

"Just be my friend, Max," she whispered.

His heart broke and he held her tighter. "You got it."


	7. Chapter 7

Isabel stepped into her dorm room and closed the door behind her. She set her bookbag down by her desk and glanced across the room at Maria, who was reading a copy of Vogue magazine. "Hey."

She glanced up. "Hey."

Isabel sat down on her bed with a yawn. "Maria?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about earlier."

Maria sighed and put her magazine aside. "Yeah, me too. This whole situation is making all of us tense and crazy. I didn't mean what I said before. I know you care about Liz."

"And I know you're just trying to help her."

Maria yawned. "Man, I'm beat. I have class in a half hour but I'm seriously tempted to just stay here and take a nap."

"Actually, a nap sounds pretty good to me, too." Isabel looked at her. Her gaze dropped to the silver heart pendant around her friend's neck. "I like your necklace. Where'd you get it?"

Maria looked startled and her hand reached up and curled around the pendant. "Oh...it's not actually mine. I found it when I was doing laundry. I kept meaning to ask if it was Liz's but I forgot." She frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just weird. I don't even remember putting it on."

A chill ran down Isabel's spine. It dissipated quickly as she yawned again. "Well, that's it. I'm exhausted." She slid her shoes off and flopped down on her bed. "I think I'm going to take a nap."

Maria laid down on her own bed. "Well, if you can skip class to sleep, so can I."

But Isabel barely heard her. Already her eyes had drifted shut and she felt herself floating away...

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Max found Michael in the art room working on a painting. He watched from the door as his friend worked, his brow furrowed in complete concentration. After a moment his curiosity got the best of him and stepped inside to see what he was working on. It was a painting of Maria. "Wow. That's incredible, Michael."

Michael looked up, startled. "I didn't even hear you come in." He stood back and examined his own work. "I can't get the eyes right."

"They look right to me."

He shook his head. "No, they're close, but..." He looked at Max. "I'm giving it to her as part of her Christmas present. I want it to be perfect, you know?"

"Yeah."

"You okay? You look..."

"Have you seen any of the others today?"

"No, I've been in here since early this morning. What's up?"

"Maria and Alex took Liz to the e.r. last night."

"What? Why?"

"She blacked out. She was running a fever, had high blood pressure. The doctor said she had a sinus infection." Max sat down on one of the art tables and stared at the floor.

"Is she okay?"

"I think she'll be fine health-wise."

Michael studied him for a moment. "You went to see her."

"Yeah." He looked up and met his friend's gaze. "She's not okay, Michael."

Michael sat down next to him with a sigh. "Yeah. I know, Maxwell."

"She won't tell me what's wrong. And every time I talk to her she pushes me away." He stood up and paced the room. "She asked me to be her friend. I can do that. I don't like that, but I can do it. But I'm not sure she'll really let me be her friend."

Michael remained silent.

"I don't know what to do, Michael."

His friend took a deep breath. "You know what you need? You need to get off this campus for awhile."

"Michael--"

"Seriously, Max. We're all worried about Liz, but if you can't get yourself together, you're not going to be much help to her when she needs you." He stood up and started to clean up is paint mess, waving his hand over the splattered easel and making the drips disappear.

Max watched as he used his powers and dried the painting to avoid smudges. He was glad to see that Michael had gained a bit more control of his powers over the years.

Michael turned to him. "Let's get out of here."

"Where are we going?"

"Out to lunch. To get some real food."

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_"As the walls are closing in  
And the colors fade to black  
And my eyes are falling  
Fast and deep into me..."_

Liz was so engrossed in listening to the lyrics of the song that she jumped when someone knocked on her door. She rolled out of bed tiredly and walked to the door. She unlocked and opened it, expecting to see Maria or Max or Alex. Her eyes widened and for a moment and she couldn't breathe. "Mom. What are you doing here?"

Her mother stood in front of her, holding a medium sized brown box in her hands. "May I come in?"

Liz swallowed hard and stepped aside.

She walked into the room and set the box on Liz's desk. She glanced around the room once before turning to face Liz.

Sensing that her mother had something to say, she closed the door and waited.

"I've been wanting to come and see you for a few days now. There are things we need to talk about and I have some questions for you."

She nodded wordlessly and tucked a strand of stray hair behind her ear. "You can sit down."

Her mother shook her head. "I'd prefer to stand." She took a deep breath and looked straight at Liz. "From the time that you were born, I dedicated my entire life to taking care of you. I didn't even want any children but I gave up everything that mattered to me--all my hopes, all my dreams--just to make sure you were taken care of. I was a good mother to you. You never went hungry or went without clean clothes. You had *everything* a girl could possibly want growing up.

"And all I asked for in return was that you treat me with some respect. The respect that I deserved. Instead, you humiliated me in front of my family and your father's family and half of the town by making up some ridiculous story about abuse at your uncle's funeral! I'm so angry with you, Liz, I can hardly stand it."

Her mother took another deep breath and exhaled slowly, regaining control of her temper. "But that's why I'm here. To give you a chance to apologize and explain yourself. So go ahead."

Liz stared at her with tear-filled eyes. "I didn't make it up."

"I thought you might say that." She picked up the brown box and shoved it into Liz's hands. "Go on. Open it."

With trembling hands, Liz pulled open the flaps of the box and set it on her desk. She stared inside, horrified.

"That's just some of the things your uncle gave to you over the years. He loved you so much, Liz." Her mother reached into the box and pulled out the pink dress. "I remember when he sent you this for Valentine's Day. He sent you gifts all the time, every holiday. How could you make up such horrible lies about him?"

Liz gagged and turned away from the dress. "Please--"

"And that's not all. He gave you this for Christmas one year." She grabbed Liz's arm and spun her around, holding a porcelain doll in her free hand. She set it down and grabbed a pink sweater out of the box. "And this was for your seventh birthday."

"Stop," she whispered.

Her mother pulled a stack of photos out and held them up one by one in front of Liz's face. "Look at these pictures."

She watched through tears as her mother held up various photos of her as she was growing up. She covered her eyes with her hands as she saw one of her sitting on her uncle's lap around nine years old.

"Look at these pictures, Elizabeth!" She jerked Liz's hands down. "You're smiling in all of them! You were a happy child! You had a good childhood!"

Liz shook her head. "Mom, please--"

"And if your uncle did do the things to you that you say he did, you must have enjoyed it or you wouldn't have looked so happy!"

She flinched at the words and she felt her body go completely numb. It was like she was no longer in her body, but outside of it, watching, listening to her mother say these things to her.

Her mother dropped the pictures back into the box and faced her again. "Your father and I are getting divorced. And it's your fault. We never had any problems until you made a big scene at the funeral. Why did you have to open your big mouth? If anything happened between you and Charlie back then, it was so long ago that it doesn't even matter anymore! But no. Instead of keeping quiet, you had to be a selfish brat, as usual! You ruin *everything!* I wish that you weren't my daughter. I wish that I would have went ahead and had the abortion I wanted to get when I found out I was pregnant."

"That makes two of us."

Her mother stared at her for a moment. "I'm leaving now. Try not to ruin anyone else's life the way you've ruined mine." She walked out and slammed the door behind her.

The sound echoed in Liz's mind.

Insanely, Sarah McLachlan was singing a cheerful song about the color of the sky.

She blinked. Once, twice.

Then spotted the razor blade that lay on her desk next to the box, its metal surface shining, reflecting the overhead light.

It was so beautiful...

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex was in the library, though he wasn't sure why. He usually only went there when he had to write a paper and needed to do research, or when he went to visit Maria while she worked.

He was restless, looking for something specific though he didn't know what it was yet. He simply browsed the shelves, glancing over the titles with a vague sense of knowledge that when he did find what he was searching for, he'd know it.

He had already looked at about half the shelves when he came across a thick book titled, The Courage to Heal. Intrigued by the title, Alex pulled the book from its space and looked at the front cover. Under the title was written: "A Guide For Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse."

He held on to it and glanced briefly at some of the other books around it and selected another book called, Lovers and Survivors. The sub-title read, "A Partner's Guide to Living With and Loving a Sexual Abuse Survivor."

His need to be in the library diminished almost instantly. He shook his head and carried the books to the counter. A girl he recognized from one of his computer courses looked up. "Are you wanting to check those out?"

"Yeah," he answered, placing them on the counter in front of her.

She glanced at the titles and gave him a funny look which he ignored. "Student ID please."

Alex pulled his wallet out of his jeans pocket and handed over his ID card. He watched as the girl scanned the books and handed them back to him.

"They're due December 18."

"Thanks." Alex shoved the books into his backpack, zipped up his coat and left the library. He took a deep breath of the cold air and stared walking back to Jewell.

As he approached the dorm, he saw a vaguely familiar car pulling out of the parking lot. He squinted but couldn't see the driver. Where had he seen that car before? He tried tried to remember but couldn't, so he shrugged it off and headed inside. He started for East Lowers, but hadn't quite reached the entrance when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Alex turned to see who it was, but no one was there. He frowned.

"Alex."

He looked around. "Who said that?" He walked around the lobby, peered behind every corner, but he was completely alone. "What the hell is going on?" he muttered.

An image of Liz flashed through his mind and he had the sudden compulsion to go check on her. He shuddered and turned the opposite way and opened the door to West Lowers. He walked down the hall quickly, spooked by the dim lights and the complete silence.

Alex reached Liz's door and knocked, startled by the hollow echo the sound made as it bounced off the walls of the long corridor.

He had a really bad feeling. His heart skipped a beat when he didn't get a response. He knocked again, louder this time. "Liz?"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz sat on the edge of her bed, the razor blade in her right hand. She sat staring at the pale skin of her wrist, idly wondering how starkly the whiteness would contrast with the color of blood.

The knock startled her.

And it hit her suddenly, crashing down around her in an overwhelming tidal wave of emotion.

What the hell was she doing?

The knock came again, a little louder, and followed by a voice. "Liz?"

She tried to call back to him. Her lips formed the words, but her voice wouldn't work.

"Liz? Are you in there?" The urgency in Alex's tone made something inside of her snap.

She was unlocking the door before she even realized she had stood up. She pulled it open and without hesitation, flung her arms around her best friend's waist.

"Liz?" She could hear the worry in his voice as his arms wrapped around her. "What's going on?"

She trembled and pulled away from him. "Something's wrong with me, Alex," she whispered, choking up. "Something's very wrong with me."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex stared at her, frightened by how incredibly pale she was. She was shaking from head to toe. "What is it? Did you black out again?"

She shook her head. "I need to go to the doctor's. Will you go with me?"

"Yeah. Of course."

"I need to call and make an appointment." She stood rooted to the spot.

"I'll call," he offered.

"Okay. The number's in my phone index." She made a vague gesture towards her dresser.

Alex stepped inside and closed the door. Then he found her doctor's name and moved to pick up the phone, taking note of the box next to the telephone receiver, wondering briefly where it had come from. He shrugged and dialed the number.

"This is Debra Jacobs' office. How may I help you?"

"I need to make an appointment for a friend of mine."

"Your friend's name?"

"Liz Parker."

"Okay. Hold on for a moment."

Before he could agree, she had put him on hold and the lyrics from an old Sting son drifted out of the ear piece. "On and on the rain will fall, like tears from a star, like tears from a star, on and on the rain will say how fragile we are, how fragile we are..."

"Okay, we don't have anything available until 9 a.m. tomorrow morning."

Alex covered up the mouthpiece. "They can't get you in until tomorrow morning."

Liz's eyes filled with tears. "Tomorrow morning?"

"Are you sure there's no way the doctor could see her today?" Alex asked, growing more worried about his distressed friend.

"We're booked solid until 9 a.m."

He shrugged helplessly at Liz.

"I'll take it," she said as she took a deep breath.

"Okay. Put us down for 9," he told the receptionist.

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

Alex hung up the phone and turned to Liz again. Before he could say anything, she spoke. "Alex, I need you to do me a huge favor."

A weird sense of deja vu swept over him. "Of course."

"Don't...leave me alone today," she said, her voice low but cracked with emotion.

The hair on the back of his neck stood up. "I won't." He stared at her, trying to determine what was going on in her mind.

"I think I need to lie down. Could you do something else for me?"

"Anything," he said instantly.

"Please put that box in my closet."

Alex glanced down at it, feeling uneasy. "Liz, where did this come from?"

"My mother brought it," she replied, her tone flat.

His eyes widened. Of course. The car he'd seen earlier outside of Jewell was Liz's mom's. The implications of what that meant suddenly dawned on him. "Liz, are you okay? What did she say to you?"

"Please just put the box away."

Alex picked it up, unable to stop wondering what was inside of it. He carried it over to her closet and stuck it on the bottom shelf. He closed the closet door. Then he watched as Liz climbed under the covers and pulled her knees up to her chest.

He walked over and set his bookbag on the floor next to the bed. Then he sat down next to her. "What can I do, Liz?" he asked quietly.

"Just...be here with me," she whispered. "Don't leave me."

"I won't," Alex promised. "I'm right here."

* * *

"Liz Parker."

Liz and Alex both looked up from their seats in the waiting room.

"Do you want me to come back with you?" Alex asked.

She thought about it for a moment. "No. I'll be okay." She stood up and followed the nurse down the hallway and into a room. She sat down on the exam table.

"So what seems to be the problem, Liz?" the nurse asked.

She hesitated. "Actually...I need to talk to Debra about the medicine I'm on."

"Oh. Okay. Well, she'll be in in just a few minutes." The nurse smiled at her and left the room.

Liz tried to relax her tense muscles but couldn't. She had barely gotten any sleep the night before and the lack of rest only added to her anxiety. She shifted on the exam table restlessly.

The door opened and Debra stepped in. "Liz, how are you?"

"Not so good, actually."

The older woman looked at her in concern. "What's wrong?"

The question was so simple, it almost made her laugh. Unfortunately the answer wasn't as easy. She tried to think of a good way to say what she was about to say, but couldn't, so she just blurted it out. "Yesterday I seriously thought about killing myself."

Debra sat down on top of her desk. "Was this the first time you've had suicidal thoughts?"

"No," she confessed.

"Have you been sleeping more or less than usual?"

"Yeah. A lot more."

"Have a decreased or increased appetite?"

She nodded.

"Have you lost interest in things that once made you happy or brought you feelings of pleasure?"

"Yes."

"Withdrawn or are overly dependant on your peers?"

"Yeah," Liz answered softly.

"It sounds to me like you've got a lot of the classic symptoms for clinical depression. I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Liz. I'm going to call a friend of mine that works at the mental health center here in town and set you up an appointment with her, okay?"

She hesitated. "I'm not crazy...am I?"

"No, of course not. Liz, depression is a very serious condition. It's not something that's just going to go away on its own. It doesn't mean you're crazy or need a strait jacket. It just means you need a little help to beat it. I assume that's why you came here."

Liz nodded slowly.

"I'll try to get you in right away," Debra told her, heading for the door.

"Thanks." Something suddenly occurred to her. "Um...my friend is out in the waiting room. I haven't told him why I'm here..."

"Do you want me to send him back?"

Dread filled her entire body, but she nodded. She had to tell Alex. There was no way to get around it now.

Debra left the room.

There was a knock on the door a couple minutes later. "Come in," she called, her throat constricting.

Alex poked his head inside, then walked in and closed the door behind him. "Hey."

"Hey," she answered nervously.

"So...what's going on?"

"I'm not sick, Alex. I mean, I am. I still have a sinus infection and everything, but that's not why I'm here now."

"Okay." He studied her with worried blue eyes.

"Yesterday when you came to see me....when I asked you not to leave me alone...it was because I was afraid I would hurt myself."

"When you say hurt yourself--what do you mean exactly?" he asked carefully.

"I mean...I was pretty close to attempting suicide," she said quietly.

For a moment, Alex couldn't speak. He felt all the air leave his lungs. "Oh, Liz," he whispered. He pulled her into a hug, doing his best to choke back his own devastation at her admission.

Liz's eyes filled with tears as she pressed her face against his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't...shhh. It's not your fault," he said softly as he rested his chin on the top of her head and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Liz?"

She pulled away from his embrace and wiped her eyes.

Debra gave her a reassuring smile. "My friend's name is Anita. She's ready to see you now. Do you know where the mental health center is?"

Liz shook her head.

"It's on the square. Do you have a way to get there."

"Yeah."

"Okay. Listen, if I can do anything for you, please call me immediately. I'll let the receptionist know that she's to patch you through to me no matter what, okay?"

"Thank you."

Debra nodded and left the room again.

Liz slid off the table and took a shaky breath. "You should probably go back to campus. You've got classes and work."

He shook his head. "It's not that big a deal."

"Alex--"

"Liz, you're way more important to me than any classes, okay?"

His words touched her deeply and she nodded. "Thank you," she said softly.

Alex held his hand out to her.

Liz hesitated for a moment, then slid her own hand into his.

"We're going to get through this, Liz. I promise."

Liz wished she was as confident about that as he was. But even though she doubted herself, Alex had promised. And he never broke his promises.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz knocked tentatively on an office door, half tempted to turn and run back to the waiting room where Alex was. But she stood rooted to the spot, waiting for a response.

"Come in," a voice called.

She turned the handle and opened the door.

A short woman with ear-length, dark blond hair and hazel eyes stood up. She wore gray dress pants and a neatly pressed, button down white shirt. She looked to be in her later 30's or early 40's. "I'm Anita Hays. You must be Liz Parker?"

She nodded.

"Please, come in, close the door. Have a seat, make yourself comfortable."

Liz shut the door, glanced at the leather sofa, then at the swivel chair in front of the woman's desk. She sat down in the chair and looked around the office. It wasn't small, but it wasn't terribly big, either. There were several bookshelves that overflowed with books on every psychology topic known to man. Next to the last bookshelf there were two tall file cabinets, and a mini fridge was on top of the far one. A few abstract, framed paintings decorated the otherwise white walls.

"Would you like something to drink? Water or coffee?" Anita offered.

"No, thank you."

She nodded and leaned her arms on her desk. "Have you ever talked to a counselor before, Liz?"

"Once. In high school. But it was for career counseling." And she wasn't a real counselor, Liz added mentally.

"Well, let me tell you a little about how this works, okay? First of all, anything you tell me is strictly between us. The only exceptions to this rule are if you tell me something that illustrates the endangerment of yourself or another person, I am required to take preventitive measures. For instance, if you were to tell me that you were planning to go out and kill someone or yourself, I'm under obligation to stop you from doing so. Other than that, nothing you say ever leaves these walls without your written permission, okay?"

"Yeah."

Anita smiled and leaned back in her chair. "Now, to make you a bit more comfortable, I'll tell you a bit about myself. I graduated with an M.D. in psychiatry from Western Illinois University twelve years ago. I'm married and have two daughters, ages 10 and 13. I was born and raised in a small town in Illinois called Decatur, but I wanted to live in Colorado since I was a young girl. So here I am."

Liz managed a small smile.

"Now why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

Okay, this is the easy part, Liz thought. "I'm from Roswell, New Mexico. I'm attending Blueridge University with five of my good friends from high school. I'm a sophomore psych major."

"Okay. Now Debra mentioned that you were having some problems, that you wanted to kill yourself yesterday. Can we talk about that?"

She swallowed hard, her anxiety rebuilding. "Yeah."

"What made you want to kill yourself?"

"It's...a lot of things. I've been...stressed out lately."

"Because of school?"

"Not so much. I sort of...haven't been going to my classes."

"What's been stressing you out, Liz?"

Liz hesitated. "I...I have some family things going on and I've been having nightmares."

"What kind of nightmares?"

"Just...nightmares. About stuff that happened a really long time ago."

Anita gave her an encouraging smile. "Just because it happened a long time ago doesn't mean it can't affect you now."

Liz shifted uncomfortably.

"Are you close to your family?"

"No," she answered immediately.

"Did something happen yesterday to trigger your desire to end your life?"

"My mom...came to visit me. We fought. It was...bad," Liz said softly. "And when she left, I picked up the razor blade off my desk."

"Did you cut yourself?"

"No. But I really wanted to," she admitted, feeling ashamed.

"What stopped you?"

"My friend Alex knocked on my door. And I didn't go through with it."

"Do you think you would have gone through with it if he hadn't knocked on your door right then?"

"I don't know," she said honestly.

"Then what happened?"

"I asked him to stay with me. He set up an appointment for me to see Debra this morning."

"And did he stay with you?"

"Yes."

Anita nodded. "Was that the first time that you'd ever considered suicide?"

"No. But the other times were just passing thoughts. I never came close to actually trying it."

"When was the first time you thought about it?"

She searched her mind, trying to pinpoint the first time suicide had occurred to her. "I don't know...I can't remember."

"Okay, how about this. Before yesterday, when was the first time recently that you considered it?"

The words were out of her mouth before she even realized it. "After my uncle's funeral." She blinked, startled that she hadn't even thought before she just blurted it out.

"How long ago was that?"

"About three weeks ago." Liz shivered and and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs.

"Were you and your uncle close?"

Only about as close as two people can be, she thought somewhat sarcastically. "No."

Anita studied her for a moment. "Why did you want to kill yourself after his funeral?"

She didn't answer. She focused her attention on the painting behind Anita. It was a weird design, with bright blue and yellow colors mixed in a careless pattern and then black paint dripped across it. For some reason it reminded her of summers long ago when she and Alex and Maria used to go to the local pool on hot afternoons.

Anita glanced at her, then looked to see what she was staring at. "Liz?"

Liz blinked rapidly and re-focused her attention on Anita. "Yeah?"

"Where did you go just now?"

"What do you mean?"

"You blanked out on me."

"I did? I'm sorry...I was just...admiring your painting."

Anita studied her again. "Liz, remember that anything you tell me is just between us. And this is a safe place. No one can hurt you here. I won't let them."

Liz shifted uncomfortably in the chair. "It's hot in here. May I please have a glass of water?"

"Certainly." Anita stood up and moved over to the mini-fridge that was on top of her file cabinet. She pulled out a bottled water and handed it to Liz.

"Thank you." She opened the bottle and took a drink, letting the cool liquid soothe her dry throat and mouth. She wiped a few beads of persperation off her forehead.

"Liz, it helps to talk about it."

_"I'm just showing my niece how much I love her. Nothing wrong with that. Besides, your parents love me. They wouldn't believe you even if you told them. No one would believe you. "_

_"It's all in her mind! Charlie would never have done anything to hurt Lizzie!"_

She swallowed hard and changed positions again, putting one foot on the floor and continuing to hug the other to her chest. She reached up and touched the rose pendant around her neck. "It's really hot in here," she repeated, her gaze drifting to the painting again.

"Did your uncle do something to you?" Anita asked gently.

_"If anything happened between you and Charlie back then, it was so long ago that it doesn't even matter anymore!"_

"It was a long time ago," Liz answered vaguely, filling like she could sink into the pretty blue color. "It doesn't matter anymore. It's over now."

Anita stood up and moved around to block Liz's view of the painting. She sat down right in front of Liz, on top of her desk. "But it's not over. And you won't be able to forget it. But if you confront it, if you deal with it...yeah, you'll still remember and it will still have happened, but your memories and fears won't control you. They won't be so paralyzing."

She leaned her forehead against her knee. "I don't feel well. It's hot in here."

"Liz, if he hurt you in any way...it wasn't your fault."

_"You know this would never happen if you weren't such a sexy little girl. But I just can't help myself...you're my special niece."_

I wonder what Maria and Alex are doing right now, she thought.

Anita realized that Liz had spaced out again, and that if she pushed her any further right then, the girl was liable to have a nervous breakdown. "Okay. You know what? Before I let you leave today, I need you to do two things for me."

Liz looked up, suddenly aware that she was being spoken to again. "What?"

"I need your word that you're going to start attending classes again." Anita stood up and began searching through her file cabinet.

"I will," she agreed, though the very thought of doing so was less than appealing.

"And I need you to fill this out and sign it for me." Anita handed her a piece of paper.

Liz took it and stared at it.

Contract For Life

I __________ (your name), swear on this date of ________, that I will not kill or attempt to kill myself. If I begin to think about doing so, I will contact the following people:

__________ (name) at ________(phone number)

__________ (name) at ________(phone number

__________ (name) at ________(phone number)

__________________ (your signature)

__________________ (witness signature)

"There's a toll free 24 hour suicide intervention line at the bottom." Anita handed her a pen.

Liz filled in her name, the date, and put down Maria, Alex, and Max and their phone numbers. Then she signed it.

"You know, most people hesitate to sign this. But you didn't," she commented as she tore off the yellow copy and kept it.

Liz looked up and met her gaze. "I don't want to die," she said softly.

"I'm very glad to hear you say that."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isabel stared at the screen of her computer, trying to figure out what to write for her opening paragraph on Frankenstein. It was a great book. It had only taken her a few hours to read it. But she was having difficulty deciding what angle to write the paper from.

She frowned and tapped her fingernails on the desk.

Maria had gone next door to talk to Liz a few minutes ago and Isabel had decided that she would try and finish her paper before the weekend. Of course, so far it didn't seem very likely she'd be achieving that goal.

She heard a soft knock at her door and stood up. "Coming." She opened it and smiled when she saw Alex standing there. "Hey. Where've you been all morning?" When he didn't reply, she studied him. "Alex? What's the matter?"

He just gazed at her and the smile slipped from her face as tears filled his eyes.

She was more than a little alarmed. She and Alex had been together for four years and she had never seen him cry before. Never, not once. She felt a wave of fear grip her as she reached out to him and he fell into her arms without a word.

Alex's arms wrapped around her tightly as he laid his forehead on her shoulder and began to cry in earnest.

She wanted to ask him questions, wanted to know what was wrong, but somehow she sensed that that wasn't what he wanted or needed right then.

But she didn't no what else to do.

So she just held him as he cried.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz laid curled up in bed, trying to focus on the copy of Jane Eyre that Maria had given to her and insisted she read. Maria hadn't been gone for more than five minutes when there was another knock at her door. "Come in."

The door swung open and Alex stepped inside. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Are you...ready to go to dinner?"

"Actually, I don't really feel like going back outside today. I was planning on staying here and heating up macaroni and cheese."

"Oh. Well, I'll stay here with you," he said immediately, not wanting to leave her alone.

Liz glanced away, feeling guilty for unloading all of her problems on Alex. As if he didn't have his own problems to worry about. Now he felt like he couldn't leave her alone for more than two minutes at a time. "Alex, I know you're worried about me. But I'm okay. Really. I'm not going to do anything. I was just going to read while I ate."

Alex nodded. "But I don't really feel like going to Ding."

She swung her legs off the bed. "I appreciate that you want to protect me, but you need to go eat. I don't have enough macaroni and cheese for both of us." She stood up. "But could you watch my room for a second? I have to go the restroom."

"Sure." Alex waited until she was out of the room before he snatched up all the pill bottles on her desk and stuffed them into his coat pockets. Then he grabbed the scissors out of her desk drawer and tucked them into his jeans pocket. He scanned the room, searching for anything else that could be potentially harmful.

Liz returned a moment later. "So tell everyone I said hi, okay?"

Alex hesitated for a minute, then nodded. "I'll see you later." He walked out and closed the door behind him. He remained outside her room for several long moments, unsure of what to do. His stomach growled at him. He hadn't eaten since...he wasn't sure when, actually.

Okay. I'll go to dinner, eat and be back here in twenty minutes, he thought. He hurried all the way to Ding.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz was on her way back from the lobby where she'd heated up her macaroni and cheese when she ran into Alyssa, who was carrying a microwavable bowl.

"I see I'm not the only one who decided to avoid goulash night at Ding," Alyssa said with a grin.

Liz smiled back. "I knew I didn't want to go for a good reason."

"So what are you having?"

"Macaroni and cheese."

Alyssa held up her bowl. "Chicken noodle soup. Are you eating alone?"

"Yeah."

"Me too. Why don't you come over to my room in about three minutes, then? That way neither of us has to dine alone."

"Yeah. Sure."

"Okay. I'll just go heat this up and I'll meet you back here."

"Great." Liz walked back to her room, unlocked the door and stepped inside. She grabbed a couple of colas out of her mini-fridge, then stepped into the hallway again, shutting and locking the door behind her.

A light coming from under the door of room 202 caught her attention. She blinked in surprise. Room 202 was one of the unoccupied rooms. So why...how was there a light on inside?

Before she could wonder about it too much, she heard her telephone ringing. With a sigh, she unlocked her door again and walked inside without bothering to turn on a light. She picked up the telephone receiver and pressed it against her ear. "Hello?"

"Hello, Lainie."

"Oh, um, I'm sorry. You have the wrong number." She hung the phone up and left the room, locking the door again. She paused and glanced at the door to 202. The light was gone now.

"Liz? Are you okay?"

She turned to see Alyssa standing at the end of the hall. "Yeah...I just thought I saw something. It was probably just my imagination." She shook her head and walked down the corridor to the other girl's room.

Alyssa held the door open for her.

"Thanks."

"Sure. Make yourself at home," Alyssa said as she dropped her keys on the dresser and sat down at her desk.

Liz handed her a pepsi and sat down on the floor.

"Thank you," Alyssa said, smiling at her.

She took a bite of macaroni and cheese and glanced around the room, feeling a very odd sense of peace and security wash over her. She leaned back against Alyssa's closet doors. "Thanks for inviting me over."

"You're welcome. How've you been?"

Liz opened her mouth and found herself wanting to tell everything to this girl. Which was strange, because she barely knew her. She fought the impulse. "Fine."

Alyssa studied her for a moment. She didn't have to be psychic to know that Liz had just lied. But she understood it. They barely knew one another. She didn't expect the girl to spill her life story during their first real talk. "So I haven't seen Maria for a couple of days. What's she been up to?"

"Oh. She's trying to decide on a major, actually."

"That can be a pretty tough decision," she commented, thinking about her own problems with that same issue. "Speaking of majors, what's yours?"

"Psychology. What about you?"

"World religions." Alyssa motioned to her bookshelf. "I've been fascinated by other religions for as long as I can remember. Way back when I was a kid."

Liz smiled a bit wistfully. "Yeah...I used to be like that with biology."

"So why'd you choose psych for your major?" Alyssa asked curiously.

She paused. "I felt like I should do something to try and help people."

That was a peculiar response, Alyssa thought. "What do you think you'll do with it? Do you know yet?"

"Yeah. I'm planning on getting a job as a counselor at an assault clinic."

Alyssa noticed the strain in Liz's voice as she said the word 'assault.' She nodded. "That's a difficult job. I'm not sure I'd be able to handle the stress."

Liz remained silent.

She decided it was time to change the topic. "So what do you think of Blueridge?"

"It's a nice town. Not too big, not too small."

Alyssa smiled. "Yeah. And when the weather's nice, it's perfect for night time walks."

Liz's eyes lit up. "My friends and I used to do that back in Roswell during the summer. Me, Maria and Alex. There was really nothing else to do, so we'd sneak out of our houses at like 11 at night and meet at our old grade school playground. Maria would always be late because her mom is like the lightest sleeper ever. We had so much fun."

"Alex...Maria mentioned him, too."

Liz smiled. "Yeah. We're best friends. Back in grade school people called us the Three Musketeers."

Alyssa smiled back.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex knocked on Liz's door, startled when it opened a bit. He blinked in surprise. "Liz?"

His heart skipped a beat when she didn't answer. He pushed the door open the rest of the way, terrified he was about to find his best friend lying dead in the middle of the floor. To his surprise, Liz wasn't there. While he was thankful that she wasn't lying dead in the floor, that didn't quelm his fears too much. He still didn't know where she was.

Okay. She's probably just in the bathroom, he rationalized. He waited for five minutes and when there was still no sign of her, then he started to feel a bit panicky. She had mentioned eating macaroni and cheese. Maybe she was at the microwave in the lobby.

Alex pulled her door shut behind him and ran down the hall, through the door and into the lobby. He checked the area by the microwave--no one was there. But he heard the community television around the corner, so he walked around to see if she was there.

Tonya and Pete, who were sitting curled up together on the lobby sofa both looked up at him. Well, Tonya looked. Pete glared.

Alex ignored him. "Have you seen Liz?" he asked Tonya.

She shook her head. "We just got here."

"If you see her, please tell her I'm looking for her."

"Sure."

Alex headed back for Jewell Hall West Lowers. He didn't know what to do. Maybe he should try and find the others so they could--

He paused mid-step when he heard the sound of familiar laughter. It was coming from room 195. he backed up and listened again. Sure enough, he heard voices inside and recognized Liz's as of them. He knocked on the door.

"Come in," someone called.

Alex turned the door handle and stepped inside the room.

Liz, who was sitting on the floor, glanced up at him in surprise. "Hey, Alex."

Relief washed over him. She was okay. Thank God. "Hey."

She motioned to the girl with long light brown hair sitting at the desk. "Alex, this is my friend Alyssa West. Alyssa, this is Alex. You've now met all three of the Musketeers."

Alyssa smiled at him. "Nice to meet you, Alex."

"Yeah, same here." His gaze drifted back to Liz.

She must have sensed that he wanted to talk to her, because she stood up. "Alyssa, thanks for inviting me over."

"No problem. Come back anytime."

"Thanks." Liz waved and followed Alex out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. She looked up at him. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is just a few hours ago you told me you nearly killed yourself and then when I come back from dinner I find your door unlocked and partially open and you're nowhere in sight. Liz, you scared the crap out of me!"

Liz looked confused. "What do you mean my door was unlocked? I locked my door before I went over to Alyssa's."

"Liz, when I knocked, it came open."

She moved past him, down the hall to room 201. Sure enough, when she turned the handle, the door opened. "No, I locked it...I remember locking it." Liz stepped inside her room and glanced around, looking dazed. "I think I locked it."

Alex stared at her, his worry increasing. "Well, you probably just forgot. You haven't been getting enough sleep lately..." His voice trailed off.

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right." She yawned. "In fact, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm just going to go to bed."

Alex glanced at the clock on her night stand. It was 6:30. No way was he about to leave her alone again. "Well, do you mind if I stay here tonight? Todd was having a party in the room and I really have no desire to get busted for being there when there's drinking going on," he lied.

"Yeah, sure. There's extra blankets in the closet if you need them."

"Thanks." He watched as she yawned again and crawled under the covers fully dressed.

"Night, Alex."

"Night," he echoed.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex lay awake on the top bunk, staring at the ceiling. It was nearly two in the morning and he still hadn't fallen asleep yet.

_"I was pretty close to attempting suicide."_

The words echoed in his mind over and over again.

He rubbed his forehead and turned over on his side. He hadn't had a decent night's sleep in days. And he was pretty sure he wouldn't be sleeping the remainder of that night.

The whole thing with Liz was eating him away from the inside out. Yeah, she seemed a bit better for the time being, but what about tomorrow or the day after that? He wasn't naive enough to believe that she was somehow perfectly fine after one counseling session.

She had left her door unlocked...it was so unlike her. Liz was usually so careful about things like that.

What if something happened while he was in class or at work? He couldn't be with her every moment of the day. If something upset her and she lost control of her emotions and hurt herself...or worse...Alex shuddered.

He suddenly knew what he had to do. He just hoped that Liz would be able to forgive him for it.

* * *

"So what do you think Alex called a meeting about?" Michael asked, glancing sideways at Max as they walked from Stoddard to Jewell.

Max didn't look at him, just increased his pace. "I don't know. But he sounded pretty serious when he called."

Michael sped up and fell into step with Max again. "Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough."

They finished the short trek to Jewell in silence.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria bit her lip nervously, wishing Max and Michael would hurry up and get there so Alex would tell her what was going on.

The fact that he had knocked on their door at 7 in the morning and had woke Isabel and her voluntarily had not been a good sign. Because neither she nor Isabel were morning people and Alex knew it.

But he had shown up, told them he needed to use their phone to call Max and Michael over, and had then gone totally silent as he leaned on the window and stared outside--that was bad sign number two.

And the very fact that Liz was not there and Alex had made no mention of inviting her to this little gathering--bad sign number three.

She looked at Isabel, who had changed out of her pajamas and into a long sleeved green sweater and a pair of blue jeans, and knew she was as concerned as Maria herself was.

Isabel sat on the edge of her bed, casting worried glances at Alex. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew it had something to do with Liz. She could just feel it in her bones. Which meant that whatever had brought him to her yesterday, crying in her arms, had probably also been about Liz. And if it made Alex cry, whatever it was had to be bad. Really bad.

A sick feeling began to form in her stomach.

There was a knock at the door and Isabel watched as Maria ran to answer it.

Maria swung the door opened, relieved to see Michael and Max had finally arrived.

Michael pulled her into a hug and kissed her briefly before stepping inside and closing the door behind them. He glanced from Maria, to Isabel to Alex, who was standing faced away from them at the window. He suddenly realized that Liz was not there and it occurred to him that she must be the subject of their meeting.

"Alex? What's going on?" Max asked, tension and anxiety gripping every part of him.

Alex turned to face them and Max was startled to see how weary he looked. His eyes were red and his clothes were rumpled and he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment than standing there with all of them.

Alex took took a deep breath and looked first at Maria, then at Max. "I have some things to tell you, and they're not going to be easy to hear, so you should probably all sit down."

Michael frowned but sat down next to Maria on her bed. Max leaned against Isabel's desk, too wired to sit.

"The night that we took Liz to the e.r.," Alex began, focusing his attention on Maria. "Remember how I stayed with her to take care of her?"

Maria nodded, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I woke up around 4 in the morning to hear her crying out in her sleep." Alex paused, struggling to contain his anger. "She was having a nightmare. About her uncle."

Max stared at him, suddenly feeling a rush of anger. "Why the hell didn't you say something before now?" he demanded.

"I didn't think it was my place," he said quietly. "And telling without Liz's permission felt a little too much like betrayal."

"So she gave you permission to tell us now?" Michael asked, trying to diffuse a confrontation.

Alex looked away. "No. She didn't. But something happened that you guys need to know about."

"What?" Isabel asked softly.

"Monday afternoon...Liz's mom was here--"

"What?" Maria interrupted, her eyes wide. "She was here on campus?"

"Yeah. Anyway, I don't know what happened between the two of them, but I got back to Jewell as Mrs. Parker was leaving." He swallowed hard, unsure of how to continue. "I went to check on Liz and she...was distraught. She asked me to go to the doctor's with her and when she couldn't get in to see her doctor that afternoon, she asked me not to leave her there alone."

Isabel cast a worried glance at Max.

"So I went with her to the doctor's yesterday." He fixed his gaze on the floor, trying to gather his thoughts and the courage to tell them the rest.

Max felt his heart skip a beat. "Is she sick?"

Alex looked up at him, startled.

"That's it, isn't it? The doctors found something wrong with her!" Max crossed the floor and grabbed Alex by his shirt collar. "Tell me what's wrong with her! Tell me!"

"Max, no! Stop it!" Isabel cried, leaping to her feet and grabbing his arm.

Michael stood up and pulled Max away from Alex. Max tried to shove him away.

"Stop it right now!" Maria warned, her tone deadly seriuos. "Max, sit down and let Alex finish. Alex, please tell us what the hell is going on with Liz before someone gets hurt."

Max reluctantly sat down next to Isabel on her bed and Maria and Michael remained standing, ready to run interference again if neccessary.

"Liz isn't sick. At least not physically."

Maria turned to meet Alex's gaze. "What do you mean?"

"The doctor diagnosed her with clinical depression."

"That's not really a surprise," Michael said quietly.

"There's more."

All eyes swung to look at Alex and Maria felt her blood run cold.

"Liz told me that she had been pretty close to attempting suicide," he finished, his eyes downcast.

All of the color drained from Max's face.

"Oh, my God," Isabel whispered.

Tears sprung to Maria's eyes and she crossed the distance between her and her other best friend and hugged him. Then she turned and wrapped her arms around Michael's waist, burying her face in his chest. "God, poor Liz," she whispered.

Isabel put her hand on Max's arm. "Max?"

He didn't respond, he just stared blankly ahead.

Maria pulled herself out of Michael's arms and went over to him. She knelt down in front of him, her eyes still shiny with tears. "She's going to be okay, Max. We're going to make sure of it. We'll get her through this."

Max's eyes filled with tears as he met her gaze. "I should have known....I should have know what was going on with her..."

She shook her head. "It's not your fault, Max."

"There were signs...we all knew she'd been upset lately...how could I have not known?" he whispered brokenly.

"We're not telepathic, Max. This isn't the Psychic Friends Network."

"Blaming ourselves for not knowing what was wrong isn't going to help Liz one bit," Isabel spoke up in a gentle but firm tone. She turned and looked at Alex. "That goes for you, too."

Michael nodded. "Isabel's right. We need to figure out what to do."

Maria pulled Max into a hug and he cried on her shoulder. She rubbed his back gently, trying to soothe his pain.

After a few minutes, she pulled back and sat down next to him, wiping her own tears away, turning her sadness into fierce determination. "All right. What do we do?"

"She shouldn't be left alone for any extended period of time," Michael stated.

"If we all start hanging around her all the time, she's going to know something's up. She's not stupid," Isabel pointed out quietly.

"We have to be up front with her," Alex spoke up.

"If we tell her we know, she'll know you're the one who told," Isabel said, her gaze locking with his.

He nodded. "I know. But I can't lie to her."

"Alex is right," Max agreed, standing up, fueled by his own determination. "No more secrets."

"Who's going to be the one to tell Liz?" Michael asked.

"I'll do it," Max said.

"No. I'll tell her," Alex said quietly. "It's my responsibility."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Michael disagreed.

"It has to be me. I owe her that much." Alex met Maria's eyes and she understood his need to be the one to tell Liz.

She nodded. "Alex is right. He should be the one to tell her."

Max gazed at Alex. "All right. We'll wait here."

Alex nodded and headed for the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz hadn't been awake long when she heard the knock on her door. She swung her legs off the bed and yawned as she stood up. She opened the door, not in the least surprised to see Alex.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

She nodded and moved aside. Then she closed the door behind him. "What time did you leave this morning?"

"Oh...uh, early."

Liz watched as Alex sat down on her bed, noticing how nervous he appeared. "Is everything okay?"

He looked up at her. "I have to tell you something."

Liz walked over and sat down next to him, concerned. "What?"

"I told the others."

She frowned, her mind still not completely clear from sleep. "Told the others what?"

"Everything. About your nightmares, about your mom being here and what you told me yesterday at the doctor's."

Liz froze. "You...what?"

"I had to, Liz. You can't do this alone. They just want to help. I did it for your own good."

"My own good," she repeated dully.

"If anything happened to you because I didn't tell them what was going on, I'd never be able to forgive myself."

"I trusted you," she whispered as tears flooded her eyes. She stood up and walked across the room, stunned by disbelief. Alex had betrayed her. She had trusted him with her deepest, darkest secrets and he'd told all of her other friends.

"Liz--" Alex stood up and approached her, his eyes pleading.

"I trusted you...how could you do this to me?" she asked as the tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I'm just trying to help you, Liz. That's all."

"Help me? This is supposed to help me?" She turned away, unable to look at him, torn by her anguish.

He touched her shoulder. "Liz--"

Liz jerked away from him, her pain being over-ridden by fury. "Don't touch me! Just get out."

Alex stared at her. "Liz..."

"Get out! Now!" She whirled around and glared at him.

He took a step back. "Please just listen to me," he pleaded.

"Why should I? I trusted you! You made me believe that I could count on you, that I could trust you and then you turned around and stabbed me in the back! How could you do this to me?"

"I was just trying to be a good friend," Alex said quietly.

"Well, here's a newsflash for you, Alex. You and I....we're not friends anymore."

He shook his head. "You don't mean that."

Liz wiped the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Yes, I do. I will never trust you again. Ever. Now get out."

Alex gazed at her. "I know you're angry with me. But I'm still going to be here for you...I'm still going to be your friend even if you don't want to be mine."

She turned away.

He closed his eyes briefly and left the room.

Liz sank down on the floor and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her head on her knees as she began to sob.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Peace is what they tell me  
Love am I unholy  
Lies are what they tell me  
Despise you that control me..."_

Maria jumped when she heard the loud music suddenly start blaring from Liz's room. She looked at Michael, then over at Max, and stood up. Max did the same. They both headed out into the hallway.

They paused outside Liz's door. "I'll go," Max shouted over the music.

She shook her head. "I really think you should let me talk to her, Max."

"I need to talk to her, Maria."

She sighed and waved her hand at the door.

Max turned the door handle, not surprised to find it was locked. He waved his hand over it and opened the door.

Maria stared at Liz, who was faced away from her, yanking and pulling on her heavy oak bunk bed, apparently moving furniture.

Max glanced back at her and then closed the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"...Torn, I'm filthy  
Born in my own misery  
Stole all that you gave me  
Control you claim you save me  
The peace is dead in my soul..."_

Max watched her for a moment without announcing his presence. Then he walked over to her CD player and shut it off.

Liz whirled around to face him. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"Liz, we need to talk," he said quietly.

"I don't really feel like talking right now," she replied. She turned her attention back to moving her bunk bed.

Max moved over to the opposite side. "Let me help you."

"I don't need your help, Max."

"This thing weighs a ton. You're going to hurt yourself."

Liz stopped what she was doing and glared at him. "Look, I know why you're here, okay? I know that Alex told you everything. And I know you didn't come in here to help me rearrange my room. So why don't you just say whatever it is you're wanting to say and then get out of my way so I can finish what I was doing."

He stared at her, stunned by her anger. "Liz...we're worried about you. All of us."

"Great. Don't be. I'm fine."

"You're not fine. Don't you see what's happening? You're slowly self-destructing, Liz. And I'm not going to let that happen."

"Fine, fine. Whatever. Will you please go now?"

"No," Max said, shaking his head. "No, I won't go."

Liz narrowed her eyes. "Fine. Then I will." She turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Max sighed and ran after her. He flung the door open and headed down the hall to where Liz was standing outside of one of the rooms a few doors down. A second later, the door opened, and Liz stepped inside the room she'd been standing outside of, and closed the door behind her.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. Then he sat down there on the ground, determined to wait and talk to her when she came back out.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa opened the door to find Liz Parker standing on her doorstep. "Liz?"

"Can I please come in?" she asked, a hint of desperation to her voice.

"Sure, of course." She held the door opened and Liz stepped inside. Alyssa closed the door behind her. "What's wrong?"

Liz burst into tears. "Everything."

Startled, Alyssa quickly wrapped her arms around the girl.

She started to cry uncontrollably. "I trusted him...I trusted them...how could they...how could they do this to me?"

Alyssa lead her to the bed and gently urged her to sit down. "What happened?"

"Everyone...everyone turns against me...everyone..."

She frowned deeply, waiting for Liz to continue, but she didn't. So Alyssa just held her as she cried.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: 03-11-12  
From: Maria DeLuca  
To: Kyle Valenti  
Subject: (no subject)

Kyle,

Glad to hear you and Cassie are doing well. Congratulations on the winning touchdown. No, I still haven't chosen a major yet. I have no idea what to do about it.

(I've been thinking about Liz and wondering how she is. I've emailed her a couple times but haven't gotten any response. Is she okay?)

Well, actually, not so much, no. Things here aren't going so great right now. Her mom showed up on campus a couple days ago, and Liz hasn't told anyone why she was here. I'm really worried about her. I don't know what to do or how to help her. It's like she's completely closed herself off to everyone.

Did you know that my mom and your dad have been trying to set a date for the wedding? Last I heard they were talking about sometime in July.

Anyway, sorry to make this so short. Hope things are going much better for you and Cassie than they are for us.

Maria, your future step-sister

____

Kyle frowned as he re-read the letter he'd just received from Maria.

"What's wrong?" Cassie asked as she glanced up at him from her literature book.

He turned to look at her. "I just got an email from Maria."

"Is everything okay?"

"I don't think so."

"Did something happen?" She put her book down and studied him in concern.

"I'm not sure...apparently Liz's mom went to visit her a couple days ago."

Her eyes widened slightly as she remembered the things that Liz's mother had said to Liz at her uncle's funeral. "Is Liz all right?"

Kyle turned back and re-read the paragraph Maria had written about Liz. "Doesn't really sound like it."

Cassie stood up and walked over to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "What do you want to do?"

Kyle looked up at her and their eyes met. "Do you have any plans for the weekend?"


	8. Chapter 8

Liz woke up Thursday morning with a feeling of pure and utter dread. She tried briefly to determine the cause of it, and then chalked it up to all of the previous day's events.

She crawled out of bed, opened her closet door and pulled out a navy blue sweater and a pair of jeans. Then she quietly unlocked her door and slipped out of her room, down the hall, and into the girl's bathroom where she changed clothes in one of the stalls.

She crept silently back into her room, sat down at her desk chair and pulled on a pair of socks and shoes as she glanced at Maria and Michael who were asleep on her top bunk.

Her mind drifted back to her conversation with Maria the previous day.

_"So how are you?" Maria asked quietly as she perched on the edge of Liz's bed._

_"I'm fine, Maria." She had just gotten back from Alyssa's and her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. Max had tried to talk to her out in the hallway again, but she had walked right past him and back to her room, surprised to find Maria there._

_"Yeah, you keep saying that."_

_"Look, I really don't feel like doing this again right now."_

_Maria gazed at her with troubled blue eyes. "Liz, we've been best friends since kindergarten. And these past few weeks....you've been so distant. And I'm really, really worried about you. I miss you and I just...I just want you to talk to me. It hurts when you won't talk to me."_

_Liz's eyes filled with tears. She had never wanted to hurt Maria. Why couldn't she just understand...why couldn't they all just understand that she *couldn't* talk about it? She drew in a shaky breath and faced her. "I'm sorry...that I've been distant, Maria. I want to talk to you, too. Just not about me."_

_Maria looked away, tears in her eyes._

_She sat down on the bed next to her. "Can we talk about something else, instead?" she asked softly._

_Maria turned back to Liz. "We can talk about anything you want, Liz. I'm always here for you."_

_Liz hugged her tightly. "Thank you," she whispered._

She blinked rapidly, clearing her mind of the memory. Her eyes focused on the digital clock on her nightstand. 6:42.

Liz stood up and pulled on her winter coat. Then she left her room again, shutting the door behind her as quietly as possible. She hesitated in the hallway for a moment, then pulled the marker off her dry-erase board that hung on the outside of her door. She wrote:

Maria,

Don't worry. I went to breakfast at Ding.

Love, Liz

Then she put the marker back and left Jewell.

It was still dark out, though not quite night time dark. A few rays of light were starting to slowly brighten up the morning sky, but Liz could tell that with the low hanging clouds, the sun probably wouldn't make too much of an appearance that day.

She was about halfway to Ding when goosebumps crawled up her arms. She stopped abruptly--not too far from the athletic center--with the acute feeling that someone was watching her. She looked around but didn't see anyone.

The feeling didn't go away and it quickly brought back the dread feeling she had woken up with. She started towards Ding again, this time with a quickened pace.

When she finally reached the cafeteria, she sighed with relief and looked around. No one had followed her. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, watching her breath crystallize in the cold air. It had probably just been her imagination. And coupled with some of the dreams she'd had the last night, it was no wonder.

Liz looked around outside one last time and then turned and headed into Ding.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa was surprised when she had woke up at 6:30 that morning. She was hardly ever up that early. But when she woke up, she was hungry and she knew that she wouldn't be able to just turn over and go back to sleep.

She had gotten up and remembered that she'd run out of Cheerios the day before. She frowned at the clock, knowing that the grocery store in town didn't open until 9. Which meant she had the options of either going hungry for about two and a half hours or going to Ding.

Her growling stomach made up her mind for her.

"Okay, Ding it is. But if you get food poisoning, don't blame me," she grumbled.

She brushed her hair, changed into a baggy sweatshirt and jeans, and put her glasses on. Then she headed out, locking the door behind her.

Alyssa's mind wandered back to the dream she'd had.

She had been in the forest, alone, walking around. The woods had been completely silent--no birds or crickets chirping. The twigs and leaves didn't even make a sound as she walked on them barefoot.

And then she had spotted something shiny on the ground. She stooped down to see what it was, but before she could tell, she had woken up.

It had been the third time that she'd had the same dream that week.

Alyssa wasn't sure what it meant, but she was sure that it was important somehow.

She shook her head and opened the door to Ding. She got in the surprisingly long line.

She had been there for about three minutes before she realized who she was standing behind. "Liz."

Liz jumped, startled, before turning around to look at her. She put one hand over her heart. "Alyssa...you scared me."

"Sorry," she said quickly. Liz's face was pale, her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. Her eyes were still red-rimmed from crying the previous day. "How are you?"

"Oh...um...yeah. Fine. Sorry, I'm just...jumpy today."

"Are you all right?" she asked quietly, searching her eyes.

Liz sighed and dropped her gaze. "I just...had some bad dreams last night. No big deal. I'm sorry about yesterday. You know, breaking down on you and everything."

Alyssa shook her head. "Don't apologize. Seriously, sometimes the best thing you can do is just cry and let it all out."

"Yeah, I guess."

Alyssa was about to ask Liz what her dream had been about when she heard a familiar voice behind her. "Well, good morning, Alyssa."

She didn't bother to turn around.

"Hey, Liz. How's Max? I haven't seen him around lately," Missy said cheerfully.

"He's fine," Liz answered tensely.

"Yeah, that he is. Especially without his shirt on."

A stricken look crossed her new friend's face.

Alyssa turned and narrowed her eyes at Missy. She simply stared at her without saying anything, without even blinking.

Missy backed away, then turned and went into the dining part of the cafeteria.

Alyssa couldn't stop the small smirk that formed on her face as she faced forward again.

"So...you know Missy?" Liz asked, picking up a tray and moving up in the line.

"Yeah, unfortunately I do."

She glanced at Alyssa curiously.

"It's a long story. Just...don't trust her," Alyssa warned.

"That's not a problem."

"Hey, Liz. Hey, Alyssa."

Alyssa smiled at Maria as the girl got in line behind her, followed by three people she recognized but didn't know, plus Alex, who was at the back of the line. She waved at him. "Hey, Alex."

"Hey," he answered, looking somewhat unhappy.

She wondered what was wrong with him.

"Oh, you haven't met our other friends," Maria said. She tugged on the arm of the guy standing right behind her. "Alyssa, this is my boyfriend Michael Guerin." He nodded at her. "That's Max Evans." Max waved. "And that's Max's sister Isabel." Isabel smiled cautiously.

Alyssa smiled at each of them. "Nice to meet all of you." She turned to look at Liz, who was standing stiffly, facing the other direction. Before she could say anything, the line started to move.

Liz quickly got a plateful of eggs and a glass of orange juice as Alyssa told the kid working the counter she wanted biscuits and gravy. She followed Liz into the main dining area, Maria right behind her.

Alyssa spotted Kris waving at her and she nodded in his direction.

"Do you want to sit with us?" Maria asked her.

"Well, actually, I need to talk to my friend Kris. But thanks for the offer."

"Sure." Maria glanced at Liz and then sat down at a table.

Liz hesitated and then started to follow her.

"Hey, Liz?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you stop by my room around 4 or so?" Alyssa suggested.

Liz looked surprised. "Yeah, sure."

She smiled. "Great. I'll see you later then."

"Okay."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz watched as Alyssa walked across the dining hall and sat down across from her friend. Then she sat down next to Maria at the table she had chosen and sighed. A moment later, Michael sat down across from Maria, and Max sat down across from Liz. Isabel sat on the other side of Maria. Alex glanced at her and their eyes met for a second.

She tensed and looked away as he sat down next to Michael and across from Isabel.

Liz looked across the room to where Alyssa was sitting again. She wished she had asked to sit with her instead. She could feel Max and Michael's eyes one her and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat and focused on her food.

The eggs didn't taste very good, but she was hungry so she ate some of them anyway. She took a long drink of orange juice.

"So, Alex, have you decided on a topic for your final speech yet?" Maria asked, trying to diffuse the tension.

"No, I don't know what to do it on. I keep thinking about something to do with Shakespeare, though."

"You should do it on Julius Caesar," Liz said, not looking up.

"You think so?"

She met his eyes and saw the hopeful expression on his face. She couldn't stop the next words from tumbling out of her mouth. "Yeah, with a focus on Brutus. You seem to have a lot in common with him."

The flash of hurt on Alex's face sent a wave of guilt crashing down around her. She rose to her feet, picked her tray up and dumped the remainder of the eggs in the trash, blinking back tears. Then she left Ding without another word.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria sighed and set her fork down. She glanced around at her friends.

Michael stood up. "I'm done. I'll go."

She nodded and watched as he returned his tray and followed Liz out of the cafeteria at a safe distance.

Isabel glanced across the table at Alex, who had stopped eating. "Why don't I talk to her for you?" she offered as she reached across the table and took his hand. Her voice was soft. She felt awful about the whole thing. She hated seeing Alex and Liz so miserable.

"No. It's okay," he answered.

"But you didn't do anything wrong," she said. "You were right to tell us what was going on with Liz."

Alex nodded. "I know. And I think that deep down Liz knows I didn't do it to try and hurt her. But she's got a lot of pent-up anger that needs to be let out and...I'd rather she direct it at me than at herself." He took a deep breath. "And right now...she's testing me."

"What do you mean?" Maria asked with a frown.

"I mean...she's trying to see how far she can push me before I give up on her. And I'm not the only one she's doing it to," he said quietly, giving Max a meaningful look.

"I don't get it. Why would Liz want you guys to give up on her?" Isabel asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"She doesn't. Not really. But she's afraid to trust us *not* to walk out on her. It makes perfect sense if you think about it. Look at how her parents reacted to the truth." He sat back in his chair and stared at the tabletop.

"But we've known the truth for four years and we've never rejected her," Maria pointed out.

"Yeah, but Maria, they're her parents," Isabel said softly, catching on. "If the woman who gave birth to her, who raised her, can just...dismiss her as easily as she did...Liz probably thinks it's only a matter of time before we all do the same thing."

"So she's testing to see if we'll really stand by her. She probably doesn't even realize she's doing it," Alex finished quietly.

"God, this sucks!" Maria said angrily, shoving her tray away. "You know, Nancy Parker was never one of my favorite people in the world but now I just wish she was here so I could beat the crap out of her!"

Max glanced at her. "I'd love to see that." He took a deep breath. "Maybe what we need is a night for the six of us to just...relax. Make Liz feel comfortable and safe with us again. Why don't we order pizza tonight and just hang out for awhile?"

Maria nodded in agreement.

"We have those teacher's aide meetings tonight," Isabel reminded him.

"Not until 8. I think a couple of hours would be enough. We don't want to overwhelm her, either."

"Sounds good." Maria glanced at Alex and then back at Max.

"So...who's going to bring the idea up to Liz?" Alex asked.

They all looked at one another.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Professor Draya?" Liz knocked on her half-open office door, chewing on her lower lip nervously.

Prof. Draya turned around and looked at her in surprise. "Liz. Please, come in."

Liz stepped into the office. "Is this a good time? I can come back if you're busy."

"No, this is fine. Close the door, come in, have a seat." She gestured towards the gray straight backed chair in front of her desk.

Liz sat down and stared at her hands for a moment, trying to find the words. Finally, she looked up. "I'm sorry I haven't been to class lately."

Draya sat back in her seat and studied her carefully. "Is everything all right?"

"Actually, no, it's not. I was diagnosed two days ago with clinical depression. And I just...haven't felt like doing anything except sleeping." She looked down.

"Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, Liz. It affects millions of people a year. My sister had quite a struggle with it a few years back."

Liz glanced up. "So...you're not mad at me?"

Draya smiled. "It's not your fault. But I'm glad you felt like you could be honest with me."

"I know I've missed a lot of assignments..."

"And two tests. But I'll allow you to make it all up, even if it means giving you an incomplete until you're caught up."

Liz stared at her. "Really?"

Draya nodded. "On one condition."

"Okay."

"That you start coming to class again on a regular basis, starting tomorrow morning."

Liz felt a nervous knot form in her stomach, but she nodded in agreement. "I will. Thank you." She stood up and left the office feeling relieved.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The kid was four years old. And when his parents brought him to visit his brother, he accidentally fell out of the guy's fourth floor window."

"What dorm was that?"

"Stoddard."

Maria frowned and glanced over at Craig and Trish, two of the other library workers, who were standing at the desk checking books back in.

"Oh, and have you heard about what happened outside of Hudson?" Craig asked, flirting mercilessly with the younger girl.

"Hudson's not even a dorm."

"No, but it's haunted, too."

Maria put down the book she had been reading and listened.

"You know that big oak tree in front? Supposedly old man Hudson had a son who loved to climb that tree. He was trying to build a treehouse up there and was making a rope ladder to use. Well, one night his son didn't come home for dinner, so he and his wife went out looking for him. When they got to the tree, they found him dead, hanged by the rope."

"That's sick, Craig. Where do you come up with all this crap, anyway?"

He shrugged. "I read it in a book."

"What book?" Maria blurted out.

Craig and Trish both looked at her.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she said, embarrassed.

Craig grinned and shrugged it off. "No problem. It's called, 'The Ghosts of Blueridge U.'"

"Is it here at the library?"

He nodded and looked through the huge stack of books he'd just checked in and pulled out a thin paperback. He handed it to her.

"Thanks," she murmured, staring at the cover. She took a deep breath, opened the book, and began to read.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey."

Isabel held her door open as Michael walked in. "So?"

"Nothing too exciting. She walked over to Hudson, talked to a bunch of professors, then went to the student rec center to get her mail. Then she went to the library for a couple of hours and she's currently next door in her room."

Max rested his head against the wall. "We're ordering pizza tonight. We need to try and get her to trust us again, show her that she can't push us away."

Michael nodded, then paused. "Wait, we have those teacher's aide meetings tonight."

"Not until 8."

"Have you ran this by Liz yet?"

"Not yet. But that's what I'm about to do." He stood up. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck," Michael and Isabel said in unison.

Max left the room.

Michael looked at Isabel.

"Maybe one of us should try dreamwalking her," she suggested quietly.

"No. It already feels weird following her around all the time and spying on her. She wasn't happy about Maria and me spending the night in her room last night. If we dreamwalked her and she realized it--and believe me, she would--she'd never forgive us."

Isabel sighed and flopped down on her bed. "I just wish I knew what to do, you know?"

"I know." Michael sat down on Maria's bed. "Speaking of dreamwalking..."

She propped herself up on one elbow and looked over at him. "What?"

"Remember a few weeks ago when you, Max and I went to Roswell for the weekend and that Alan guy harassed them?"

She nodded.

"I dreamwalked him."

Isabel grinned. "Yeah, I...showed up at his room and threatened him," she confessed.

"Something weird happened when I was in his head."

"What?"

Michael hesitated. "I had a hard time finding him in the dream. There were all these narrow, twisted hallways...it was like I was in a maze. Have you ever had that happen before?"

She shook her head, looking bewildered. "No. That is weird."

"Yeah. I have a bad feeling about it."

"What kind of bad feeling?"

Michael shook his head and took a deep breath. "Like something else bad is about to happen."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz was reading her psychology textbook when her telephone rang. She continued reading as she reached over and picked up the phone. "Hello?" she said absently.

There was a moment of silence.

"Hello?" she repeated.

"Hello." The voice was low and barely audible.

"Can you speak up? I can't hear you." She listened closely.

"You look really sexy in that blue sweater. I'll bet you look even sexier with it off."

Liz was so startled that she dropped the phone. She scrambled off the bed and to her feet. She looked out her window. It had started to snow again. But there was no one out there. No one was watching her. She pulled the blinds down anyway. Then she picked up the phone again and hit the 'Off' button.

The knock on her door nearly gave her a heart attack. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "Who is it?"

"It's Max."

Liz sighed with relief and unlocked the door and pulled it open. "Hey."

"Hey. Can I come in?" he asked, gazing at her.

She shifted uncomfortably. "Sure."

Max walked into the room. "So I was thinking that the six of us could get together tonight and order pizza and...you know. Just hang out for awhile."

Liz felt her defenses rise instantly. "Why?"

"Because we haven't done anything as a group in ages. And...I miss it. We used to have fun together. Remember when we went to Pike's Peak?"

She smiled sadly, her eyes downcast. That seemed like such a long time ago. "Yeah."

"I was hoping we could all just relax and have fun for a change. I feel like we're all growing apart," Max said softly.

Something else that's my fault, she thought.

"So what do you think? Pizza and stimulating conversation about cartoons and which teachers we can't stand?" he asked hopefully.

Liz looked up and met his gaze. She couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. That sounds nice."

Max smiled back, relieved. "Great. So...pizza at Maria and Isabel's at 5:30?"

"Yeah. That's fine." She glanced at the clock. "Oh, I have to go. I told Alyssa I'd stop by her room...about ten minutes ago."

"Oh. All right. But I'll see you in awhile?"

"Okay." She nodded.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You mentioned this morning that you had bad dreams last night. Do you want to talk about it?" Alyssa asked as she glanced at Liz, who was sitting on the floor. Liz had stopped by awhile ago and they'd been talking for nearly an hour when Alyssa finally brought up the question that had been on her mind since that morning.

Liz took a deep breath. "You know that story "The Cask of Amontillado" by Edgar Allen Poe?"

"Is that the one where the guy gets buried alive in the wall?"

"Yeah."

Alyssa nodded.

"That's...what I dreamt about."

"That you were being buried alive inside a wall?"

Liz nodded and stared at the floor.

Alyssa frowned and studied her. "Liz?"

"Yeah?"

"Is there something you feel like...you're being silenced about?" she asked carefully, watching her closely.

Liz hesitated, opened her mouth to say something, then shook her head.

"No."

* * *

Liz stood outside Maria and Isabel's door, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. She reached up to knock, then hesitated.

As if somehow her best friend knew she was standing in the hallsya, Maria pulled the door open. "Liz! Hey, come on in." She dropped her voice. "Beware the Christmas Nazi."

Liz looked at her in confusion. It was still about two weeks until Thanksgiving. She stepped inside the room.

Isabel looked over from where she was standing on her desk, stringing up a strand of red and green Christmas lights. "Hey, Liz," she said with a smile.

"Hi, Isabel."

"Hey, Maria, why don't you put on some mood music?" she suggested.

"Sure."

"Liz, can you give me a hand with these lights? They keep getting tangled."

Liz walked over and took the majority of the strand from her as Isabel fastened a section of the wire to the ceiling.

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock  
Jingle bell swing and jingle bell ring..."

"Okay, you guys do realize there are still two weeks until Thanksgiving, right?" Max asked as he stepped in through the open door.

Liz turned and their eyes met. They both smiled.

"Well, I have to decorate early or we won't have time to enjoy it. We have a week of Thanksgiving break and then a couple weeks after that we have a month off for Christmas," Isabel said defensively.

A thought suddenly dawned on Liz. Where was she going to go for the holidays? She couldn't exactly go home now. She could probably stay on campus during Thanksgiving, but the college didn't allow students to stay over the long winter break.

"Is it just me or does the Christmas Nazi get worse every year?" Michael asked Max quietly as he stepped inside.

Max grinned.

"Man, I'm starving," Maria complained, pressing one hand to her stomach.

"Well, then, let's order pizza," Alex said as he walked in. He held up two small pieces of paper. "And we're in luck. I just checked my mail and found coupons for Little Italy's."

"Great," Maria said with enthusiasm. "And since you're the one with the coupons, you can order the pizzas."

He rolled his eyes. "How did I know that was coming?" Alex walked over to the phone. "Okay. I know Maria just wants cheese and sausage, and Liz, you still like your pizza with just cheese and pepperoni, right?"

Liz looked up, startled that he was speaking to her after the way she'd treated him the last couple of days. "Um...yeah."

Their eyes met for a moment.

Liz looked away.

"Isabel--everything but green peppers--and Max, Michael and I--everything, right?"

Isabel smiled down at him from her place on the desk. "How many times have you done this before?"

He grinned. "Way too many." He picked up the phone.

"Liz, can you hand me the tape, please?" Isabel asked.

"Yeah, sure." Liz reached down on the desk and picked up the tape dispenser. She handed it to Isabel.

"Thanks." Isabel hung another section of the strand of lights. Then she frowned, realizing she'd run out of room to maneuver on her desk. She glanced at her desk chair, contemplating whether or not she'd be able to reach from that height.

"Pizzas are ordered," Alex announced a moment later. "And if they're not here in 30 minutes...well, they won't be free." He shrugged. "Oh, well. I can wait. It's better than Ding."

"So's roadkill," Michael said dryly.

Maria smacked him on the arm. "Not one more word about roadkill tonight, buddy. I'm hungry and I'd like to stay that way, thank you." She shot a glare in Alex's direction. "That goes for you, too."

He gave her an innocent--who, me?--look.

"Hey."

Liz was surprised to see Max suddenly standing behind her. "Hey."

"How was your talk with Alyssa?"

"Fine. Thanks for asking."

They watched silently as Isabel climbed down off the desk and pushed her chair against the wall. She stood on it, smiling when she realized she could indeed still reach to hang up lights. A new song came on the CD. "Oh! Maria, turn it up! This is one of my favorites."

"They're all her favorites," Max whispered to Liz, who suppressed a smile.

Maria turned up the volume and grinned at Liz as she sang along. "Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too...come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you..."

"Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo," Isabel chimed in, only slightly off-key.

Liz couldn't help but smile.

"The people that live in this hall are going to think you're all nuts," Michael informed them as he sat down on Maria's bed.

"You make it sound like they don't already," Max said in a teasing voice.

"Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you," Maria and Isabel continued to sing, ignoring the guys' comments.

Maria grabbed Liz's hand. "Come on," she said.

Liz shook her head. "No way."

"Please? Pretty please?"

She gave her friend a look.

"I'll be your best friend," Maria said, batting her eyelashes.

Liz laughed. "You already are."

"Sing with us."

"Maria."

"Come on," she urged.

"Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up, let's go..." Maria looked at her with pleading eyes.

Liz finally gave in. "Let's look at the show..."

"We're riding in a wonderland of snow...giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up, it's grand...just holding your hand. We're gliding along with a song of a wintry fairyland," all three girls sang.

Michael rolled his eyes, but he was smiling anyway.

Alex leaned against the wall with a smile.

And watching Liz relax and have a bit of fun for the first time in weeks, Max also smiled the first real smile he'd had in weeks.

No one saw the figure standing outside in the snow watching them through the window.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's that?" Liz asked Maria curiously as her friend pulled a book out of her bag.

Maria held it up. "'The Ghosts of Blueridge U.'"

"Maria's convinced that Jewell is haunted," Alex said as he reached for his fourth slice of pizza.

Everyone turned to look at her.

"Okay. Yeah, I do. Weird things happen here all the time. Like that night you guys went back to Roswell for the weekend, Liz and I kept hearing these tapping noises on the walls. And then Liz's CD player turned on by itself."

The mention of that night sent a shiver down Liz's spine.

"Are you serious?" Isabel stared at Maria.

"Yes. Ask Liz."

Liz nodded. "She's telling the truth."

"It was probably just bad wiring," Michael said sensibly.

"Bad wiring might explain that but would it explain how my CDs got switched while I was asleep?" Liz asked, not looking at him.

"What are you talking about?" Max asked, gazing at her.

She met his eyes and told them how she'd fallen asleep listening to Surfacing and had awakened to Touch.

"Okay, now I'm freaked," Marai said as goosebumps crawled up her arms.

"Does the book say anything about Jewell being haunted?" Isabel asked her, taking a drink of cherry cola.

"No," Maria replied with a sigh.

"Maybe you should talk to Alyssa," Liz suggested. "She reads books on that kind of stuff."

Her eyes lit up. "That's a great idea."

"So this Alyssa," Isabel said casually, glancing at Liz and Maria. "What's she like?"

"Oh, she's really nice," Liz said immediately.

"She a senior. A world religion's major. And she's getting married this summer," Maria supplied.

"Her fiance Matt lives in Florida, but they met here when they were freshman."

"Her fiance lives in Florida? That's a long way away," Isabel commented with a frown.

"Yeah."

"Well, I hate to end this, but Isabel, Michael and I have those teacher's aide meetings in ten minutes so we should head over to Stoddard," Max said reluctantly, looking at Liz as he stood up.

Liz rose to her feet as well, and walked over to him. "Thank you...for tonight, Max," she said sincerely.

"You're welcome," he answered, gazing into her eyes. "I would do anything for you, Liz."

The words made her heart ache because she knew he meant them. She found herself unable to respond.

"I'll see you later. Good night," he said quietly.

"'Night, Max," she echoed softly.

Michael kissed Maria and followed Max out the door. Isabel waved at everyone and followed Michael.

"All right, the Christmas Nazi is gone," Maria said as she hit the 'off' button on her CD player. "So now we can listen to something else."

"Yeah, like you weren't enjoying it as much as she was," Alex said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, I like Christmas as much as the next person, but it's like...five weeks away. And besides that, she's only your girlfriend. You're not the one who has to share a room with her," Maria pointed out. She flipped the radio onto a local light rock channel.

Liz sat down on the edge of Maria's bed.

"You know, it's too bad that it's so cold outside or we could go for a walk. Just the Three Musketeers like we used to," Maria said with a touch of sadness in her voice as she sat down on the bed next to Liz. "I miss that."

Liz looked down at the floor.

"Me too," Alex agreed from his spot on Isabel's bed.

"I wish there was a swingset around here. Remember our swinging contests?"

"Yeah. You were always late," he said with a grin.

"No, you guys were always early," she replied, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Ah, the good old days."

"Yeah...hey, Liz? Remember when you broke your ankle in gym freshman year?"

"Like I could forget," she replied.

"It was totally Pam Troy's fault."

"Yeah, she tripped me so I would miss that shot in basketball."

"And everyone was staring at you. Alex had to carry you out of the gym." Maria shook her head. "And I remember when Liz called me while I was home sick and said that you'd had a ruptured appendix and were in emergency surgery."

Liz remembered that day vividly. He had been pale and shaky all day and then as they were walking down the hallway at school, he had just collapsed right in front of her. "I was terrified you were going to die," she admitted, glancing at him briefly.

Alex gazed at her.

"Yeah, you know...the three of us have really been through a lot together," Maria commented, looking pointedly at Alex and then at Liz. "I guess that's why people have always called us the Three Musketeers. Cause we've always stuck together no matter what."

Liz realized the statement was directed at her.

The telephone rang. "Hello," Maria answered.

Liz glanced at Alex again. She had been really horrible to him before. A wave of guilt hit her as she remembered all the times he'd been there for her. Like freshman year when he'd carried her out of the gym because she'd been in too much pain to walk. Or like every time he'd stood up for her, held her when she was afraid--like that night a few weekends ago when Max, Michael and Isabel had gone home and she and Maria had called him over because they were freaking out, or the times he'd taken care of her when she was sick.

Just as she was trying to get the courage to say something to him, the telephone rang again.

Maria sighed. "Some loser keeps dialing the wrong number." She clicked the on button again. A moment later she said, "Oh, yeah, that's original," and hung up the phone.

"Maria?" Alex questioned, his eyebrows furrowed.

"He said, 'Do you want to die tonight?'" She rolled her eyes. "Like everyone on the planet doesn't know where *that* came from."

Liz felt a chill run down her spine as the phone rang again.

Alex reached over and took the phone from Maria's hands. He hit the 'on' button. "I don't know who this is and I don't care. Stop calling this number or we're going to call the police and press charges for harassment." He hung up the phone.

It rang again almost instantly.

Maria stood up. "This blows. Let's get out of here," she said.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Let's go to Stoddard and wait for the Czechoslovakians to get done at their meetings." She had already pulled on her winter jacket.

Alex looked at Liz questioningly.

She rose to her feet, nodding her agreement. For some reason she felt the sudden urge to go to Stoddard herself. "Yeah. Let's get out of here." Liz cast a final glance at the ringing telephone and followed her friends out the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz wandered away from Alex and Maria as they waited in the lobby of Stoddard for their other friends. She walked down the hall to where the Campus Security office was located. She knocked on the door and peeked her head in.

Paul Jacobs, head of the department, looked up. "Can I help you?"

"I hope so." She stepped inside. "My friend got some threatening phone calls tonight. I was wondering if we could do anything about it."

"What kind of threatening calls?"

"The guy was quoting Scream...I'm sure it was just some loser with too much time on his hands--"

"No, I'm glad you came in. Your friend isn't the first person to get those calls. Three other girls have had them this semester." There was a touch of worry to his voice.

"But it's probably nothing to be too concerned with, right?" Liz pressed, starting to feel even more anxious.

Paul studied her for a moment. "I can't mention any names--it goes against the confidentiality rule--but the caller showed up outside one of the girls' window wearing the Scream costume and threatening her on a cell phone. She hung up and called us, but by the time we got there, the guy had already taken off."

She stared at him, the color draining from her face.

"Do you need to sit down?" Paul asked in concern, rising to his feet.

Liz shook her head. "So...what do we do?"

"Why don't you have your friend come in and file a report? Then we'll take it to the business office and have them trace the call in case it wasn't made from a cell phone."

"The number isn't able to be traced if it's from a cellular telephone?"

"Oh, it is. But the cell phone the calls have been traced back to are from a phone that was reported stolen back in August. So there's no way of knowing who made those calls." Paul looked at her. "Like you said before, it's probably just a loser with too much time on his hands. But your friend should be careful. There's always a slight chance--"

"That he's psychotic and intends to follow through on his threats?" she finished.

"It's unlikely. But yes, it's possible."

Liz nodded, feeling her entire body go completely numb. "I'll go get my friend," she said, turning and walking out of the room.

When she reached the lobby, she saw Max, Michael and Isabel talking to Alex and Maria. She took a deep breath.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Maria asked curiously.

She met her eyes. "Those calls you got earlier..."

"What calls?" Michael asked.

"Oh, just a couple of prank calls," Maria answered, dismissing it with a wave of her hand.

"I just talked to Paul Jacobs."

"The head of campus security?" Isabel asked in confusion.

Liz nodded, staring at Maria. "You're not the only one who's gotten them. Three other girls have had similar calls this semester."

Maria looked at her in confusion.

Max studied her, starting to feel worried. "Liz, what's going on?"

"The caller showed up outside one of the girls' window wearing a Scream costume and threatening her on a cell phone."

"He showed up outside someone's window?" Isabel repeated, her eyes widening.

"Oh, my God," Maria whispered, taking a step closer to Michael.

"Do they have any idea who's making the calls?"

Liz shook her head, feeling dazed. "They traced the calls but they were made from a stolen cell phone."

"What about the other girls? Who are they?" Michael asked.

"He wouldn't say. Something about breaking confidentiality." She looked at Maria again. "Paul wants you to file a report with him so they can trace the call in case he wasn't using a cell phone this time."

"Yeah, of course," Maria murmured in agreement.

"I'll go with you," Michael said immediately.

"We'll wait out here for you," Max told them.

Michael and Maria turned and disappeared down the hallway.

Liz sat down on one of the benches in the lobby. Max sat down next to her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just...worried about Maria."

"She'll be fine, Liz. Don't worry. We won't let anything happen to her." Max squeezed her hand.

She leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder.

A few moments later, Michael and Maria returned, along with Paul, who was carrying a walkie-talkie. "Are you guys headed back to Jewell?" he asked.

"Yeah," Max spoke up.

"I'll have a couple of guys escort you back, just to be on the safe side."

"Thanks," Maria told him.

"Sure." Paul spoke into his radio.

Max glanced around. "I think we should stick together tonight."

Michael nodded in agreement. "No one stays alone."

Liz stared out the lobby doors into the dark, snowy night.

Had someone been watching Maria? Been watching all of them? Was he watching them right now, waiting to make his next move?

Liz shuddered.

* * *

Alyssa lay on her bed and stared up at the bottom of the top bunk, her ear pressed to the telephone.

"So do you miss me?" Matt asked.

She smiled. "Only every second of the day." Her heart ached at the truth of her own words. It wasn't like she didn't have a life of her own or things to keep her busy. She considered herself to be a very independent person. But when you're in love with someone--really in love--you hate being away from them for long periods of time.

"Me too," he said softly. "But just think. In a few months, you're going to be Mrs. Matthew Goodman."

"Mrs. Matthew West-Goodman," she corrected him.

"Sorry," he said in a teasing voice.

"Just don't forget it," she replied, teasing him back.

There was a knock on her door.

"Come in," she called, sitting up in bed.

The door opened and a pale Liz Parker stepped inside. She realized Alyssa was on the phone, mouthed, "I'm sorry" and started to leave.

"Liz, wait," Alyssa called. "Matt, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too," she murmured into the phone. "Good night."

"Good night."

Alyssa hung up the phone.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," Liz apologized.

"No, it's okay. I need to save some money on my phone bill, anyway. Matt and I have been known to cause each other to go broke." Alyssa studied her. "So what's up?"

"Have you...gotten any harassing phone calls recently?"

She frowned. "No...not that I can think of. Why?"

"Some guy called Maria tonight. Three times. He asked her if she wanted to die tonight."

"Now that's original," Alyssa commented, rolling her eyes.

"I talked to the head of campus security. He said three other girls had gotten similar phone calls this semester and that the caller showed up outside one of their windows wearing a Scream costume."

Alyssa frowned. "That's creepy. Is Paul going to trace the calls?"

Liz looked at her in surprise.

"Oh, sorry. Paul's a friend of mine," she explained.

"Oh. Well, yeah. He's had the other ones traced, too. But it was a cellular number...and it was from a phone that had been stolen." Liz sat down on the floor, leaned against Alyssa's closet and hugged her knees to her chest.

Alyssa perched on the edge of her bed. "So are you afraid this guy's going to come after Maria?"

She nodded.

Before Alyssa could respond, there was another knock on her door. "Come in!"

The door opened and Maria stepped inside, followed by her boyfriend Michael.

"Hey, Maria, Michael. How are you doing?" she asked.

"Okay. Liz told you about what happened?" Maria asked, fidgeting nervously with the necklace she was wearing.

"Yeah. Come on in. Have a seat."

Maria sat down on the floor next to Liz and Michael sat down on the other side of Maria. "You haven't had any phone calls, have you?"

"No," Alyssa said. She glanced at Liz, and then back at Maria and Michael, noting the tension all three of them were obviously experiencing. "Would you like me to do a reading for you?"

Maria's eyes lit up. "Yeah, that'd be great."

"A reading?" Michael repeated, sounding a bit suspicious.

"A tarot reading," Maria told him quietly.

He rolled his eyes.

"Ah. A disbeliever," Alyssa commented, holding back a grin.

"I don't believe some cards can tell someone their future," he said with a shrug.

"Michael!" Maria swatted him on the arm.

"It's okay. A lot of people feel that way," Alyssa assured them as she opened her deck of tarot cards. She moved down to the floor and sat facing Maria, but keeping a couple feet of space in between them. She handed the cards to Maria.

She looked at Alyssa in confusion.

"Close your eyes and concentrate on what you want to know. Then ask your question."

"Out loud?"

"Or in your mind. It doesn't matter."

Maria closed her eyes and a moment later, she said, "Am I in danger?"

Alyssa took the deck from her and shuffled it. Then she turned over six cards. She glanced at Maria and pointed to the first card. "The queen of cups represents you--who you are as a person. The queen is warm-hearted, honest and a good friend with the gift of vision." Alyssa motioned to the second card. "The 9 of swords is the immediate influence on you. It generally means that you're having some anxiety over a loved one. That you're worried for or about that person."

Maria glanced sideways at Liz, who was watching with great interest.

Alyssa looked at the third card. "This is in reference to card two--it generally is the result of whatever is immediately influencing you. In this case, the 5 of cups is in reverse, which means you're about to have some kind of reunion. That an old friend will be returning, possibly because of the anxiety you're feeling."

She paused and looked at the last three cards, a little surprised.

"What?" Maria asked.

"Your last three cards are all Major Arcana. See, there are four suits in tarot: swords, wands, cups and pentacles--those are the Minor Arcana. There are 56 of them. But there are only 22 Major Arcana in a tarot deck. It's just strange that out of six cards, half of yours are Majors."

"Strange in a good way or a bad way?"

"Actually, these are good cards." She motioned to the fourth card. "The Fool in reverse represents your distant past...basically it's what sets the tone for what's going on now and how you're feeling."

Michael nudged her with his elbow. "See? You're a fool."

She smacked him on the shoulder.

"When reversed, the Fool tends to mean that you're hesitating or are in a state of indecision about something."

"You mean like deciding on a major?" Maria asked.

"It could be, yeah."

Maria nodded.

"The next card also represents the past. The Empress. Did someone you know recently get married or engaged?"

"Oh, my God, yeah. Mom and Sheriff Valenti got engaged a few weeks ago. They're living together now. Wow."

Alyssa smiled and indicated the next card. "This card represents what's ahead."

"Justice?" Maria looked down at it, confused.

"Literally the card means that proper balance will be restored, that justice--whether in your favor or not--will prevail." Alyssa turned over the final four cards of the ten-card spread. She was stunned when yet another Major Arcanas turned up. "Strength," she said, touching the seventh card. "This is your present attitude within the circumstances of your life. You're very determined and courageous to see things through. Card eight represents environmental factors. In your case, the 7 of swords indicates you've been surrounded by arguments, that there is much discontent within the group you spend time with."

Maria just shook her head in amazement.

Alyssa continued. "Card 9 represents your inner emotions. The 6 of cups represents nostalgia. Have you been thinking about the past a lot?"

"Yeah...I was just...reminiscing earlier, actually."

She smiled. "The last card is the end result of everything going on in your life right now. It's the 6 of wands. This is a very good card. It means that your desires will be realized as the result of efforts."

Maria sat back, both impressed and intrigued. "So...no danger?"

Alyssa studied the cards again. They didn't indicate trouble, and her own gut instinct backed up the reading. "I don't believe you're in any danger, Maria," she said honestly.

The blond girl looked greatly relieved.

Alyssa's gaze flickered over to Liz. "Why don't you let me do a reading for you?"

Liz hesitated, but then nodded her consent.

Alyssa picked up the cards, shuffled them thoroughly to release Maria's energy from them, then handed the deck to Liz.

Liz closed her eyes, pushing aside her numerous doubts that there was any real scientific value to fortune-telling, and concentrated. What was it Alyssa told Maria? Oh, yeah. Think of a question. Keep it simple, she thought. Will I be okay?

She opened her eyes and handed the cards back to Alyssa, who shuffled them again.

Then she turned over six cards.

Alyssa gestured to the first one. "The queen of swords represents who you are. She generally signifies a widow or a woman of sadness. Someone who has savored happiness but now is in a period of mourning and anxiety."

Liz swallowed hard, carefully not looking at Michael and Maria.

"The 10 of cups in reverse represents a loss of friendship or a family quarrel, or perhaps both. It is currently what has the most influence over you." Alyssa paused for a moment. "The Hanged Man suggests that because of the hold these things have over you, your life will be in suspension until you do something to change the circumstances."

Liz stared at the next card. It dipicted a woman standing in between a bunch of swords that were sticking into the ground. The woman's hands and arms were tied behind her back and a blindfold was over her eyes.

"The 8 of swords represents your distant past. What that means is that everything going on with you currently is based off something in your past. The 8 of swords tends to signify a sickness or conflict. But sense it's reversed, in your case it means that someone in your past has betrayed you, has caused your soul to be in a state of disquiet for a long time."

Tears sprung to her eyes as she stared down at the cards Alyssa was laying out before her.

Alyssa stopped, taking note of the shocked looks on Michael and Maria's faces. She noticed the tears in Liz's eyes. "Do you want me to stop?" she asked quietly.

Liz shook her head. "No."

"Card five represents the recent past. It's the Lovers reversed. It suggests a separation of two people who love each other very much." She moved on to the next card. "This represents a future influence...The Moon...it signifies that there are hidden enemies that bring danger."

"Wait--are you saying that Liz is the one who's in trouble?" Maria broke in, looking worriedly at her best friend and then back at Alyssa.

Alyssa looked at Liz. "Possibly, yes." She took a deep breath and turned over the last four cards, bewildered when two more Major Arcana cards turned up.

"This is your present position--your attitude within the circumstances. The Hermit suggests that you have become withdrawn, that you have a tendency to with hold your emotions. That you bury them deep inside yourself rather than share them with those around you.

"Card 8 represents the enviroment around you, or perhaps the people you're in contact with. In this case, I would say the latter. The page of wands indicates a male. He's usually someone who's intensely loyal. Someone who is a consistent, trusted friend."

Liz met Alyssa's gaze, no doubt in her mind who *that* card represented. She cringed slightly. Then she looked down at the next card. It was of a person lying on the ground, ten swords piercing his body.

"Card 9 represents your inner emotions. The 10 of swords illustrates great pain and mental anguish." Alyssa gazed at the final card. "Wheel of Fortune," she said softly.

Maria looked at her. "What does that mean?"

"It's dependent on the other cards. It usually indicates the course of events from beginning to end...the outcome of the situation."

"But most of the cards in the reading are negative," Maria pointed out nervously.

"Not all. The Hanged Man isn't necessarily a bad card. And the page of wands is a good card." Alyssa looked at Liz. "The Wheel of Fortune indicates destiny. But you are in control of your own fate."

"How?" Liz asked doubtfully.

"While you can't go back and change the past, there are other factors at work here. For instance, you with hold your feelings from those around you. That's a choice you make. If you choose to change that, the other factors--at least some of them--will change, too. Changing one seemingly small thing in your present can have a tremendous impact on your future. You decide what you want your future to hold--and it won't happen because it was destined to--it will happen because you make it happen." Alyssa gazed at her intently. "But you must make a choice to take control of your own fate. Because if you don't, someone will take control of it for you."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, good. You guys are back. We were just discussing sleeping arrangements," Max said as Maria, Michael and Liz walked into Maria and Isabel's room.

"I'm going wherever Maria is," Michael said automatically, meeting Max's eyes.

"I want to stay at Liz's," Maria spoke up.

"Is that okay with you?" Max asked her quietly.

Liz nodded.

"Okay. Then Alex and I will stay here with Isabel." He glanced at them and they both nodded.

"We should tell the on duty resident assistant what's going on," Maria said.

"Yeah. Who's on duty tonight?" Isabel asked.

"I think Jessica is."

"It's a good idea. Maybe they've seen someone suspicious hanging around," Max agreed.

"Oh, God," Alex said suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Isabel asked in concern.

"I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I forgot. The other night when we were out looking for Liz, I thought I saw someone hiding in the woods behind Jewell."

"Oh, my God," Maria muttered. Michael wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I think we should call the police," Liz said quietly.

They all exchanged looks.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Michael said hesitantly, still not one to trust law enforcement.

"No, she's right," Alex agreed. "For now all the guy's done is make some threatening phone calls. But if he's lurking around he might be planning on doing something worse. It's better to be safe than sorry."

Liz met Alex's gaze and for the first time in awhile, she didn't look away.

"All right. We'll call the police and make a report," Maria said, moving towards the telephone.

"I'll go talk to Jessica. She's in one of my English classes," Isabel said.

Max glanced at Liz and Alex, then turned to his sister. "I'll go with you," he volunteered. He followed her out the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex looked from Maria and Michael, who were on the other side of the room as she talked to the police on the phone, to Liz, who was sitting on the edge of Isabel's bed. He sat down next to her hesitantly. "Well, this has been a long day."

"Yeah," she agreed, staring at the floor.

He took it as a good sign that she responded. "So...how are you? Are you okay?" he asked carefully.

Liz took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing her eyes. "Yeah. I'm just worried about Maria."

Normally he would have put an arm around her or taken her hand in an effort to comfort and reassure her, but he wasn't sure she'd accept the gesture from him right then. So he decided to stick with words. "I'm worried, too. But Michael won't let anything happen to her."

She nodded.

There was a moment of silence.

"Alex, I'm sorry," she said softly.

"Don't be," Alex said immediately.

"I was a real jerk to you. And I know you were just trying to help." Liz looked at him with tears in her eyes.

Alex held his arms out and she hugged him tightly. "Well, you're going through a lot of stuff right now."

"It doesn't excuse it."

"Maybe not, but I understand. It's okay," he told her, feeling relieved. He met Maria's eyes across the room. She smiled too, also looking relieved.

"Police are on there way to take statements," Michael announced.

Alex nodded and exchanged a tense look with Liz.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz lay in bed, clutching her baseball bat tightly, her heart pounding.

The police had come and gone hours ago. They hadn't really been too encouraging. Just said that if any of them received anymore phone calls or if they saw someone suspicious hanging around, to call and report it immediately.

Of course if one of them saw the guy and he killed them before they had a chance to report it then...stop it, she told herself.

Maria and Michael were asleep on her top bunk, and realistically, Liz knew she was safe. But her nerves were shot and she wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon.

She wondered if the caller was outside her window at that very moment.

Liz shuddered and turned over, gripping the wooden bat more tightly.

Nope.

No sleep for her tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

Liz stood under the shower faucet, letting the hot water pound down on her skin, cleansing her and reviving her senses. She hadn't slept at all the previous night and had decided at 6:15 to get up and take a shower, being careful to not wake up Michael and Maria. The entire dorm had been silent as she'd walked down the hall and into the bathroom to one of the showers.

She closed her eyes, inhaling the fresh scent of her papaya shampoo as she lathered it into her hair.

I wonder if the caller is watching me right now.

Her eyes flew open and she turned around, half expecting someone to be standing there. But there was no one. The shower curtain was pulled tightly all the way around her on the three sides, and the wall was now to her back. She wasn't being watched. She exhaled slowly and rinsed her hair from the shampoo. Once all the suds were gone, she turned the water off and grabbed her towel off its hook and dried her hair. Then she wrapped her terrycloth robe around her tightly and tied the sash at her waist.

She leaned down to pick up her bucket of shampoos and soaps when she heard the bathroom door creak slightly.

Liz froze. Her heart pounded in her chest.

She heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps coming towards the showers. Towards her.

Pure panic flooded her veins.

Oh, God. He's here, she thought wildly. He's coming to kill me.

She couldn't move. Couldn't force herself to run or try to get ready to fight back. She was like a deer caught in someone's headlights, paralyzed.

A hand gripped the curtain and then snapped it backwards.

She shrieked.

Tonya laughed at her reaction. "Sorry, Liz. I didn't realize anyone was in here."

Liz leaned back against the wall for support as her hand covered her heart and her eyes closed. Her heart was still racing.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you," Tonya said, with a chuckle. "Have you had a lot of caffeine lately?"

Liz opened her eyes and glared at her. "For your information," she said darkly. "Someone called and threatened to kill Maria last night. So excuse me for being a little jumpy."

The smile left Tonya's face and her eyes widened. "What?"

She picked up her bucket of toiletries and stepped out of the shower. "The head of security said she's not the first one to get a call like that this semester. And the caller showed up outside one of the girls' window."

Tonya shuddered. "That's so...creepy."

"No kidding."

"Look, I really am sorry...I had no idea anyone besides me was up," the other girl said sincerely.

Liz took a deep breath and her anger dissolved. "It's okay...I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"It's okay," Tonya said quickly.

"See you later." Liz walked away from her and left the bathroom. She ran into Alyssa in the hallway.

"You're up early," Alyssa commented.

"Yeah...I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Well, Ding opens in a half hour. You interested in going to breakfast with me?"

Liz thought about it for a moment. "Yeah. That'd be great. I need to dry my hair and get dressed. Crap. I can't, nevermind."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't run my hair dryer right now. Maria and Michael are asleep."

"Well, bring it down to my room. You can get ready down here," Alyssa offered.

"Okay." Liz turned and walked down the hall to her room. She quietly unlocked her door and stepped inside, setting down her bucket of toiletries. She opened her closet door, relieved that it didn't squeak. She pulled out a purple sweater and a pair of jeans, and grabbed her hair dryer off her dresser. Then she leaned down and picked up her shoes off the floor and slid quietly out the door again.

She paused and quickly wrote a note on her dry erase board to Maria and Michael saying that she'd gone to Ding with Alyssa and she'd see them later.

Then Liz hurried down the hall to where Alyssa was waiting.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria woke up with a weird feeling.

She frowned at the light that shone in her eyes as she squinted to see what time it was. To her surprise, her clock was not anywhere in sight.

What the hell?

Her frown deepened as she propped herself up on her elbows. It took a moment for her to remember that she wasn't in her room. She relaxed and glanced over at Michael, who was still asleep. One of his arms was tucked under the pillow beneath his head and the other was draped over her stomach.

She carefully lifted it off her and he stirred slightly but didn't wake up. Maria carefully climbed down off the top bunk and headed for the door to use the restroom. She unlocked it, quiet so as not to wake Liz and Michael. She walked down the long corridor, the dim light above the only light that entered the hallway. It flickered like something out of a bad horror movie.

The thought made her shudder as she remembered the phone calls she'd gotten the night before. She went to the bathroom and practically ran back to Liz's room, closing the door behind her softly and then turning the lock.

Maria tiptoed back to the bed, then frowned when she saw Liz was not there. She moved to the door again, and opened it and checked the board to see if she'd left them a message. But her best friend's dry-erase board was blank.

Fear crept into her veins. "Michael!"

He groaned but didn't open his eyes.

"Michael!" she said loudly.

"What?" he grumbled, squinting at her.

"Liz is gone!"

"What?"

"Liz isn't here. I woke up to go to the bathroom and she's not here. There's no note on the door!"

Michael rolled onto his stomach and climbed down off the top bunk. "She's probably next door," he said sensibly.

Maria didn't waste a moment. She grabbed her dorm keys off Liz's desk where she'd lain them the night before and quickly unlocked her dorm room door.

Alex and Isabel were curled up asleep in Isabel's bed. Max was sound asleep in Maria's.

"She's not here," she said, on the verge of panicking as Michael came in behind her.

"Okay, let's stay calm," he said firmly, touching her shoulder.

"Stay calm? Michael, there's a potential killer on campus and Liz is missing!"

"What's going on?" Max asked as he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes.

Isabel and Alex both stirred and sat up, as well.

"Liz is missing!" Maria blurted out.

Max was out of bed in an instant. "What do you mean missing?"

"I mean, I woke up and she wasn't there. She wasn't in the bathroom, either. And she didn't leave us a note or anything saying she'd left." Maria raised a trembling hand to her face to swipe away a hair out of her eyes.

"Maybe she just forgot to write a note," Michael suggested.

"No, she'd leave a note," Max disagreed, fear evident in his own voice. "She wouldn't want to worry Maria."

"Max is right," Alex agreed worriedly as he climbed out of bed.

"All right. Everyone go get dressed and we'll look for her," Isabel announced, standing up.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz took a drink of orange juice and glanced around the nearly empty cafeteria. Alyssa sat across from her, eating a half-stale bagel.

Missy walked by Alyssa's chair and muttered, "Satan worshiper."

"Manipulative brainwashing slut," Alyssa replied without turning around.

Missy paused mid-step, then continued to walk across the cafeteria where she plopped down in a seat and glared at them.

"Sorry," Alyssa apologized, her face flushing slightly. "I don't normally give her the satisfaction of a response, but it's early."

"No, it's okay," Liz assured her, wondering what the story was behind their animosity towards each other.

Before she had a chance to ask, Maria ran up to her. "Liz, thank God!" she cried, throwing her arms around her.

Liz hugged her back, though she was confused. "Maria, what's wrong?" A thought occurred to her. "Did you have another call?"

"No," Maria answered immediately. "I was--"

"She was worried about you."

She looked up at Max, surprised to see how angry he looked. "What? Worried about me? Why?"

"Maybe because you took off without telling anyone you were leaving," Max replied, trying to contain his anger. "How could you do that after what happened last night? You're the one who found out about the calls, Liz. Are you trying to put yourself in danger? Or are you just trying to scare us to death?"

Liz stared at him in disbelief. Then her gaze moved to Michael, who looked almost as upset as Max, and then to Isabel, who wore a similar expression. Alex and Maria just watched her in concern. "I didn't mean to scare anyone and I wasn't trying to put myself in danger. I didn't want to wake anyone up. I got ready in Alyssa's room and we walked to Ding to have breakfast."

"Have you ever heard of leaving a note?" Max demanded.

"What do you mean? I *did* leave a note. On my board."

Maria frowned. "There was no note, Liz."

"Well, I wrote one," she said defensively.

"Well, it's not there now," Max said, his voice only slightly less harsh than before.

"Then someone must have erased it." Liz glared at him.

"It was probably one of the C.S. workers. They've done stuff like that before," Alex said.

"C.S. doesn't start work in Jewell until 10," Isabel said quietly.

"She left a note. I watched her write it," Alyssa spoke up, looking at Max.

"Okay, you know what? It doesn't really matter," Maria pointed out. "Liz is safe. If she said she left a note, she did. It just got erased. There's no reason to fight about it."

Alex nodded in agreement. "It was just a misunderstanding."

"Yeah, but what about next time?" Michael asked, glancing at Maria. "If someone's going through and erasing the boards, what's to stop this from happening again with any one of us?"

Liz took a drink of juice and averted her gaze from Max, tamping down her anger.

"I mean, there's a possible psychopath on campus," he continued. "We need to know where everyone is at all times."

"I agree," Max said quietly. "We need to come up with a schedule so none of us has to walk anywhere alone, or stay by ourselves for any extended period of time."

Liz's gaze drifted to the tabletop and she traced circular designs on it with her index finger as her friends talked about a schedule.

"Liz?"

She looked up at Alex, startled. "What?"

"Your psychology class ends at 9:50, right?"

She nodded slightly.

"My computer class is done at the same time, so I'll walk with you back to Jewell afterwards, okay?"

"Okay."

"And I'll trade off with Alex at 11, and I'll stay with you until your next class...it's at one, isn't it?" Max asked.

"Yeah. My Math 210 class."

"We still need someone to stay with Maria from 1:30 to 3:00," Michael said.

"I have speech until 2," Alex said with a shrug.

"I'm working then," Isabel stated.

"Me too," Max agreed.

"I have art. I can skip it," Michael said.

"No, I don't want you to skip class. I can just stay at the library," Maria said with a sigh.

"Why don't you come over to my room?" Alyssa suggested. "I'm free all afternoon. I could even stop by the library and walk with you to Jewell."

"Really? That'd be great. Thanks, Alyssa." Maria smiled at her.

"Okay, then. We've got a plan. Liz, Alex and I all have classes in Hudson in ten minutes. We can walk together. Michael, you're going to stay with Isabel and Maria until their classes start, right?" Max asked.

"Yep." Michael draped a protective arm around Maria.

"Then we should get going." Max turned to look at her.

Liz felt a bit of agitation rise up within her again but she ignored it. "I'll see you later," she told Alyssa.

"See ya."

She lifted her tray off the table, stood up and threw away the food she hadn't eaten. Then she walked in between Max and Alex as they left Ding.

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Liz sat down in a seat in the psychology room and pulled out her text book and notebook and a pen. She was a few minutes early, but there were already a couple of other students there talking quietly. Her last class--History 215, Civil Conflicts Around the World--had gone fine. Afterwards, Max had been waiting to walk her down the hall to psychology.

Which, when she thought about it, was pretty much a waste of time given the crowd. It wasn't like she was in the damned building alone or anything. No one was going to try and harm her in the middle of a crowded hallway. If someone wanted to hurt her, they'd make sure she was alone without any real chance of being interrupted. That's just how people were.

She knew Max was just being protective, but there was being protective and then there was being overprotective.

Professor Draya walked into the room a few moments later. She smiled at Liz gently as she made her way up to her desk and set her briefcase down.

Liz smiled in return a bit shyly and leaned back in her chair as the other students filtered into the classroom. She prepared herself for the looks she knew they'd be giving her since this was her first time to class in almost a month.

To her surprise, no one seemed to notice.

She found herself feeling relieved. Back in Roswell, and specifically in high school, she'd been under constant scrutiny from everyone. If she missed a day of class or was even a few minutes late, everyone there would stare at her and then rumors would start about where she'd been. It had seemed like someone was always watching her.

She dismissed all thoughts of high school and the past and of all other unpleasantries as Professor Draya began her day's lecture.

Liz was actually able to relax and concentrate on taking notes during the class period. It was the first time her attention had been focused solely on school in a very long time. She actually felt disappointed when Draya dismissed the class, telling them all to have a nice weekend. She slid her books and things back into her backpack and stood up slowly as the tension returned to her.

Alex lingered in the door frame. He smiled at her. "How was psych?" he asked as they walked down the hall away from the room.

"It was fine." Liz zipped up her coat as they approached the exit of Hudson to walk back to Jewell. "How was your computer class?"

"Boring, as usual," he responded as he held the door open for her.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

They walked to their dorm in silence. Neither of them had any idea they were being watched.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa pulled a Pepsi out of her mini-fridge. "Want one?" she offered Maria.

"Sure. Thanks." Maria took the can from her and then sat down on the floor.

"You can sit in a chair if you want," Alyssa teased.

"I'm okay." Maria smiled at her. "Hey, have you read a book called, 'The Ghosts of Blueridge U?'"

"No..."

"Oh."

Alyssa could hear the disappointment in her voice. "Why?"

Maria hesitated, her gaze moving to Alyssa's bookshelf. "Well...do you believe in ghosts?"

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. "Why, do you?"

"I think so. It's just...have you had any weird things happen when you're in Jewell?"

"A few," Alyssa admitted, studying Maria.

"So have I...and..."

"You think Jewell's haunted?"

"Yeah."

Alyssa sat down on the edge of her bed. "I've thought that for awhile, myself. Does the book mention anything about it?"

Maria sighed. "Not a word."

"Well, just because it's not in the book doesn't necessarily mean anything. When was it published?"

Maria pulled the book out of her bookbag and checked the inside cover. "1962."

"Oh, well, Jewell's the newest dorm on campus. It wasn't built until 1977."

"Really? I didn't know that."

Alyssa shrugged. "I was bored so I read the campus handbook one day."

Maria bit her lip. "You know, there may be a way to find out if something happened here. I mean, most hauntings are caused by...murders, right?"

"Well, some. Not all. But from what I know about spirits someone would have had to have died in Jewell for it to be haunted."

"Right. Which means that there would have been a newspaper article on it, right?"

Alyssa nodded. "So you're thinking that we should go back and search old newspapers? Like at the library?"

"Yeah, but not the campus library. We don't have newspapers from that far back. But I bet the public library has all of them on microfilm." Maria looked at her.

"That's a good idea," she said, impressed.

"What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?"

Alyssa smiled.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz lay in bed, staring at the wall. Alex and Isabel were on the top bunk sleeping.

It had been a very long day. She hadn't had more than two minutes alone the entire day. Max had stayed with her and then walked with her to lunch. After lunch, he'd walked her to her math class. After math class, Alex had walked her back to Jewell again. He'd stayed with her until Michael and Maria had shown up and then he'd left to do homework. All day long, one of the guys had escorted her everywhere she went. Even down the hall to the bathroom.

She felt like she was five years old. And even then, she hadn't been under the constant supervision she was now.

Liz gritted her teeth together and turned over in bed, trying to get comfortable. Every muscle in her entire body was tense. She had to try and relax so she could get some sleep. She hadn't slept at all the night before and she was going to wind up sick again if she didn't get her rest.

She stretched her arms out and then laid flat on her back, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the bottom of the top bunk. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Then she repeated the act, trying to relax her body. After a few moments of deep breathing, she felt herself starting to drift off...

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"I've been watching you, Lainie," the voice whispered. She knew that voice. She knew she knew it. Who was it?_

_He removed his hand from her mouth only long enough to cover it with duct tape. She struggled with him, tried to push him off her, but it was no use. He taped her hands together, then showed her the knife he had._

_Oh, God. He was going to kill her. She was going to die._

_He sliced open her nightgown and stared down at her. "I've been waiting for this for a long, long time, Lainie." He unbuckled his jeans and slid them off._

_No! she cried out in her mind. But she couldn't scream, couldn't move. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest._

_The scene shifted suddenly. She was no longer in a dorm room, no longer in a bed. She was in the Crashdown with Maria and Alex. The three of them sat at the counter, sipping soda through straws. It was Christmas time. Red and green garland was wound around the Cafe, and strings of lights were glowing brightly even though it was mid-afternoon and the sun was shining._

_"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!"_

_Maria whirled around. "It's Santa Claus! Liz, Santa's here!"_

_With dread, Liz turned and saw a man dressed in a Santa costume smiling at them. "That's not Santa Claus."_

_"Well, duh. Santa's not real," her friend responded, rolling her blue eyes._

_Uncle Charlie sat down in a seat and patted his knee. "Come sit on my lap, little girl, and tell me what you want for Christmas."_

_Maria giggled. "I want a pony."_

_He shook his head. "You gotta sit on my lap or you won't get what you want."_

_Maria stood up, but Liz grabbed her arm. "We're too old for Santa Claus," she said, gripping her friend's arm tightly._

_"No one's too old for Santa Claus. Come here, Lizzie."_

_"He knows your name!" Maria said in surprise._

_"Of course he does. It's her uncle. Right, Liz?" Alex asked._

_She nodded slowly._

_"Santa's got a big surprise for Lizzie this year." He smiled at her broadly. Then he stood up and walked towards them._

_Liz shrank back on her stool, wishing she could melt into the counter._

_Uncle Charlie knelt down in front of her so they were eye-level. "Your surprise is in my van. Want to go get it with me?"_

_She shook her head wordlessly in silent refusal._

_"I'll go," Maria volunteered._

_"No!" Liz practically shouted._

_Maria's eyes widened. "What's wrong with you?" she demanded._

_Liz's eyes filled with tears. "I'll go," she said reluctantly._

_Uncle Charlie smiled again. "That's my special niece. We'll be back in a little while," he told Maria and Alex. She swallowed hard as he took her hand and led her out of the Crashdown and across the street to where his van was parked. He opened the back doors of the vehicle. "Climb in, Lizzie. Your surprise is waiting for you."_

_"I don't want it," she said, shaking her head. "I want you to leave me alone."_

_"Lizzie! What are you talking about? I love you. I bought you a really nice present." He waved towards a wrapped package in the back of the van._

_"I don't want it."_

_"Then I guess I'll have to give it to your friend Maria."_

_She knew what he meant by that. And no way was she going to let him anywhere near her best friend if she could help it. "No."_

_"Then climb in."_

_Tears filling her eyes, she did as told and retrieved the package. She started to leave, but Uncle Charlie had already climbed in behind her and shut the doors of the van._

_"Open it up, Lizzie."_

_Liz slowly and unenthusiastically tore off the wrapping paper and pulled the box open. Inside lay a very expensive porcelian doll dressed in a pink dress._

_"See, the doll has dark hair just like yours," Uncle Charlie said, smiling at her as he removed his Santa Claus beard and hat. "Why don't you lie down?"_

_"Uncle Charlie, please--"_

_"Ah-ah-ah. Lie down. Don't fight me. Your friends are waiting for you. You don't want me to tell them what we do together, do you?"_

_Twelve year old Liz shook her head, horrified at the thought. What would Maria and Alex think of her if they ever found out? They certainly wouldn't be her friends anymore._

_"Then lie down." Uncle Charlie smiled at her. "You're such a sexy little girl, Lizzie."_

_Trembling, Liz complied, her gaze locking on the van's ceiling. She started to count the pieces of fuzz she saw, imagining them to be stars in the sky as Uncle Charlie pulled her jeans and panties off her and then unbuckled the Santa Claus pants he was wearing and pulled them down, as well. She left her body as he invaded it._

_Afterwards, he got dressed again and smiled as he handed her the doll after she'd pulled her clothes back on as well. He kissed her on the lips even though she tried to turn away. "Go see your friends, Lizzie. I'll be up to see your mom and dad in a little while."_

_Liz left the van, tears in her eyes because of the pain and soreness between her legs. She went back inside the Crashdown still shaking._

_"Maria left. She was sort of mad at you," Alex said with a shrug. He looked at her carefully. "Are you okay?"_

_She set the doll on one of the tables. "Yeah." She couldn't stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks._

_Alex stood up, alarmed to see her crying. He walked over to her and tried to reassure her. "It'll be okay. She won't stay mad long. You know Maria."_

_Liz felt sobs building up inside of her. She tried desperately to choke them back. But when Alex hugged her, she curled into his arms and cried, unable to stop. She knew she had to be freaking him out, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't stop herself._

_"It's okay," he whispered. His hug was caring and felt safe. Not like the hugs that Uncle Charlie gave her. She shuddered and clung to her other best friend like a lifeline._

_The scene changed again. This time she was standing in a dark hole in the ground. With horror she realized that water was slowly filling up the hole. It was already at her knees and was climbing steadily higher._

_No! No! I don't want to die!_

_The water rose up until it was at her neckline._

_She was going to drown. She could scream and no one would even hear her. No one could save her. No one._

_Liz tried repeatedly to claw her way out of the hole before it was too late. But as she started to struggle, her feet actually sank into the muddy water down below and it pulled her under._

_She couldn't breathe._

_Someone help me, she thought desperately as she was forced to open her mouth. Water flooded her throat, her lungs filled with it and she began to choke; she began to drown._

_She was going to die._

* * *

Cassie Owens shivered and looked around at all the snow as they walked from Kyle's car towards Jewell Hall. "Thanks for telling me to bring my jacket," she said, pulling it around her more tightly.

"Yeah, well. My dad and I used to drive up to the mountains once in awhile when I was younger, so I know from experience how the weather can be around here," Kyle answered, sliding his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. They finished the trek to Maria's dorm in silence.

Kyle held the lobby door open for Cassie and then followed her inside.

"What's Maria's room number?"

"Uh..." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the slip of paper he'd written his soon-to-be-step-sister's address on. "West Lowers...Room 203." Kyle nodded towards the sign that indicated West Lowers and they opened the door that separated the hall from the lobby. The hall was long and mostly dark. It was lit only by a dim light above that threatened to burn out at any given moment. They walked down the hall, noting the utter silence that filled its walls.

"Are you sure it's not too early? It is Saturday. What if she and Isabel are still sleeping?" Cassie asked in a hushed tone, glancing at her watch.

He frowned. He hadn't really thought about the possibility they might not be awake yet. It was almost 11, though. "Well...then I guess they'll wake up when we knock on the door." Kyle took a deep breath and rapped his knuckles against the wooden door of Room 203.

A moment later, Michael Guerin opened the door. His hair was still tousled from sleep and he squinted at them. Then his eyes widened in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you, too," Kyle said wryly. "Is Maria here?"

Michael frowned. "Yeah. Hold on. We were still asleep." He closed the door.

Cassie bit her lip and stared at the floor. "Maybe we should have emailed them and told them we were coming."

Kyle just shrugged. "Guerin's never been too fond of me."

He heard muffled sounds inside the room and a second later the door opened again. His future step-sister appeared wearing a blue terrycloth robe over her pajamas.

"Kyle! Cassie!" Maria grinned from ear-to-ear and hugged them both. "It's so good to see you! Come in, come in." She ushered them inside. "What are you guys doing here?"

Kyle glanced at where Max and Michael were standing by the window of Maria's room. He frowned, wondering what they were all doing sleeping in the same room.

Maria noticed his frown and looked over at her friends. "We...sort of have a problem." She took a deep breath. "See, a couple days ago I got a few threatening phone calls and the six of us decided that it's not a good idea for anyone to be staying alone for long periods of time. So Alex and Isabel are next door sleeping in Liz's room."

"What kind of threatening phone calls?" he asked.

"Oh, like those ones from Scream. Apparently the guy who's making them has called three other girls and then he showed up outside one of their windows wearing the Scream costume."

"Did you call the police?"

"Yeah. We filed a report the night the calls came in. But apparently the guy's been calling on a stolen cell phone so they don't have any idea who's actually doing it." Maria sat down on the edge of her bed.

"That is so freaky," Cassie said, shuddering.

"Yeah."

"So what are you doing here, Kyle?" Max asked, gazing at him.

Kyle met his gaze and wondered why the hell he wasn't staying at Liz's. "Maria emailed me. It sounded like there was some stuff going on and I felt like I needed to be here. So Cassie and I decided to come up for the weekend."

Maria looked up at him. "Well, I'm glad you guys are here."

He smiled at her and took Cassie's hand. "Me too. Now what's going on with Liz?"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz woke up in a cold sweat, her heart pounding wildly. She glanced around her room, wondering at what point it had shrank.

I have to get out of here.

The thought reverberated in her mind over and over until she kicked off her blankets and leapt out of bed.

I have to get out of here.

She sucked in air, trying to catch her breath, but she felt like she was being suffocated, like she was drowning.

Panic gripped her as she threw open her closet door and pulled a sweater on right over her pajama top. She tugged on a pair of jeans, slid her feet into her sneakers and grabbed her winter coat.

"Liz?" she heard Alex mumble sleepily.

"I'm going for a walk," she said, tears threatening to spill over. She headed for the door.

"Wait, and I'll go with you," he said, sitting up. Isabel stirred beside him.

"Just leave me alone!" she answered as she fumbled with the door lock. She yanked open the door and fled the room.

"Liz!" he shouted after her. He rolled off the top bunk and stubbed his toe on her desk as he moved to get his shoes. "Ow! Shit," Alex muttered.

"Alex, what's going on?" Isabel asked, alarmed.

"What happened? We heard shouting."

Alex glanced at the open doorway where Max, Michael and Maria were standing with...Kyle Valenti and Cassie Owens? He did a doubletake, but ignored his own curiosity. "Liz took off. I don't know why. She was really upset."

Michael swore under his breath and both he and Max turned to follow the direction Liz had fled in.

To everyone's surprise, Kyle stopped them. "Let me go."

Alex watched him exchange a brief, tense look with Max, who didn't respond.

Without another word, Kyle turned and disappeared down the hallway.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kyle wasn't sure where she was headed, but he followed her without calling out and making his presence known. He kept his eyes peeled for anyone suspicious.

He watched as Liz entered a building in the middle of the campus. As he got closer, he could see the small wooden sign that said, "Miller's Sports Complex." As he stepped inside and glanced around, he realized that other than Liz--who was walking into a huge gymnasium--and him--the place was deserted.

Kyle took a deep breath and followed her.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trying desperately to rid herself of the panicky feeling, Liz shucked off her coat and threw it on the gym floor.

If she didn't do *something* she was going to go insane.

Her gaze locked on the punching bag in the corner of the gym. She stalked over to it and slammed her fists into it repeatedly, trying to ignore all the thoughts swirling in her mind. After a moment, her thoughts started to quiet down and she stopped punching the bag, and leaned against it breathing heavily.

"You know," a familiar voice said. "You shouldn't do that without gloves on. You could really hurt yourself."

Liz froze.

No. It couldn't be.

Could it?

She whirled around and her mouth dropped open. Sure enough, Kyle Valenti was standing at the opposite end of the gym, leaning against the wall.

For a moment she was so stunned, she was speechless. She just stared at him. "Kyle...what are you doing here?" she asked finally.

Kyle pushed himself away from the wall and walked towards her with a grin. "It was too hot in New Mexico so I thought I'd come up and check out some cooler weather. Glad to see me?"

A thought hit her. "Did someone ask you to come here?" she asked, feeling her defenses rise.

He looked puzzled. "No..."

"Right. Let me guess. Maria?" Liz glared at him, feeling angry all of a sudden. "Well, I have enough babysitters already, so you can just go back home now."

Kyle held up his hands. "No one sent me. Cassie and I just wanted to take a weekend vacation out of New Mexico."

"Cassie's here?" she asked in confusion.

"Yeah, she's back at Maria's."

Liz looked at him doubtfully.

"Well, even if you're not glad to see me, I'm glad to see you." He glanced at the punching bag, which was still swinging a bit. "You know, contrary to what most people believe, punching actually risks more injury to the person doing the hitting than to the person getting hit."

"What?"

Kyle held up his hand, palm held out towards her. "See, if you hit like this using the palm of your hand at sort of an upward slant, it's much more effective. Just make sure to keep your fingers pulled back a bit towards you before you try to hit someone. That way you can avoid hurting your fingers during impact." He took a step away from her, pulled his arm back and then thrust it out quickly. "See? Now if you do it like this, you can aim for the person's nose, mouth, throat, chin or ear, and you're much more likely to do damage than a punch. Plus, if you pivot on your back foot and step into the hit, it will have more power behind it." He paused. "Wait. Hold on. I'll be back." Without waiting for a response, Kyle headed for the men's locker room.

She stood in the middle of the gym, unsure of what to do.

A few moments later, he returned, wearing a very padded suit and carrying a huge padded mask.

"Kyle, what--?" Liz stared at him, feeling confused.

"Have you ever taken a self-defense course?" he asked. "I'm assuming they offer one here because this was in the equipment room." Kyle motioned to the suit.

"No, I've never..." Her voice trailed off.

"I didn't think so." He took a deep breath. "All right. In most attack cases, verbal self-defense is sufficient. It actually detours about 80% of attack attempts. Basically the thing to remember is to be loud and clear when you're verbally defending yourself. In some cases it's not going to work and you'll have to fight back. All right, hold your hands up, keep your elbows down and knees slightly bent. Keep your feet about a shoulder-width apart." He waited for a moment as she just stared at him. "Seriously."

Liz shifted uncomfortably and then got in the stance he described.

"Perfect. Just like that." Kyle nodded. "That's the stance you want to be in if you need to hit someone like I showed you a minute ago. Now, you'll need the same stance for kicking. You want to kick using your rear leg cause it gives you more power. Don't kick someone using your toes. It'll cause you more injury than them. Strike with the top of your foot. The roundhouse kick is a bit different. It'll let you strike the guy from the side of his body. Pivot on your front foot while raising your back leg. Raise your knee until it's pointed directly at your target and then strike with top of your foot again. You'll try to hit the guy's knee or thigh or the back of his leg. If you get enough power behind it, you can actually knock his own leg right out from under him."

Over several long moments, he described in detail about what to do if she was grabbed from behind. He explained that one very effective technique was to stomp on the guy's foot and then follow it with a hammer strike to the guy's groin. Then to follow that by glancing briefly behind her into the guy's face and elbowing him as hard as she could.

Then he explained to her about how to fight back if she was on the ground. "It's like the fighting stance when you're standing, only you're lying down now," he said. "Basically you lie on your side and place one leg in the air parallel to the ground with your foot pointing straight up. The other leg is bent with the foot as close to the body as possible. Prop yourself up on one elbow, place both hands on the ground on the same side as the leg that's touching the ground. Instead of kicking with the top of your foot like when you're standing, use your heel and aim for the guy's knee or groin area."

Kyle paused. "That's the basics of self-defense. You should actually take a class."

"Yeah, maybe."

He pulled the huge padded mask on. "All right. Hit me."

Liz stared at him. He couldn't be serious.

"Hit me," he repeated.

"Forget it."

"Seriously. Just hit me. Once right in the face like I showed you."

"Kyle, I'm not going to hit you."

"Just try it. Once. Come on."

"No," she said immediately, recoiling against the very thought.

"What are you afraid of?" Kyle asked, his voice slightly muffled by the oversized, over-stuffed mask.

She hesitated. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Liz, do you have any idea how padded this suit is? That's what it's for."

"I don't want to hit you."

"Look, I promise you're not going to hurt me, all right? I won't feel it, trust me. I helped teach a self-defense course last semester."

Liz stared at him again doubtfully.

"Just one time," he said.

She sighed. "Fine." She walked up to him and hit the soft padding of the nose.

"Oh, come on, Liz. My six year old cousin hits harder than that."

"This is ridiculous," she said in disgust. "I feel like an idiot."

"How do you think *I* feel wearing this thing?" Kyle retorted, his voice taking on an edge. "Now quit whining and hit me."

Liz glared at him, irritated at the commanding tone of his voice.

"What are you waiting for? Christmas?"

"Kyle," she warned.

"What are you gonna do to defend yourself if you're attacked? Talk the guy to death?"

Liz's eyes narrowed and she gritted her teeth. He was baiting her and she knew it. That fact only ticked her off more. "Shut up, Kyle," she warned.

"Ooh, now that's scary, Liz. I'm sure that would really frighten someone."

Her hands curled into fists at her sides and she fought to push away her rising anger. She turned and started to walk away.

"Yeah, runaway from your problems like you always do. That's going to help."

Something inside of her snapped and she whirled around. Liz slammed into him with such force he fell backwards onto the gym floor with her on top of him. She started pounding her fists against the padding that covered his chest while she screamed and cursed at him.

Suddenly Kyle disappeared and her uncle was suddenly the one she was beating on. "You fucking bastard! I hate you!" she screamed over and over as she kept pummeling him until she was crying so hard she couldn't do it anymore. She collapsed next to him, sobbing.

Kyle sat up and pulled off the oversized mask and set it on the floor. He quickly pulled off the rest of the padded gear and set it aside as well. Then he reached out and wrapped his arms around her.

After a few moments, she lifted her head and looked at him, horrified. "Kyle, I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean...I don't hate...it wasn't..." she couldn't find the words to tell him what she was trying to say.

She didn't have to.

"I know," Kyle said quietly.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, no. That thing's made for that, believe me."

"I can't believe I just did that." Liz sat on the floor next to him, stunned by the fury that had taken control of her.

"I can."

She looked at him through teary eyes. "I shouldn't have...lost control of my temper like that...I...."

"You have every right to be angry, Liz. I wish I had some power to bring the mother-fucker back to life so I could kill him for what he did to you," Kyle said vehemently.

Liz stared at him, feeling a bit overwhelmed by how deadly serious he was. And surprised by the fact that she actually felt a little better. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." They sat side-by-side in silence for several long moments. Then Kyle spoke again, his tone serious but gentle. "You need to talk to someone, Liz. If you're not comfortable talking to me, then talk to Maria or Max or Alex, or someone. Anyone. Just don't...let this eat away at you until there's nothing left."

She met his gaze. "Will you walk with me back to Jewell?"

"Of course." Kyle stood up and offered her his hand.

Liz took it gratefully and he pulled her to her feet. She picked her coat up off the floor and together, they left the gym.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't know what to do anymore," Max said as he put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes wearily.

Isabel laid her hand on his shoulder.

"We need to talk."

Everyone looked up as Kyle stood in the doorway of Maria and Isabel's dorm room.

"Where's Liz?" Alex asked.

"She's down the hall with a friend of hers."

"Alyssa," Maria supplied.

Kyle nodded and stepped inside. He glanced briefly at Cassie, who was sitting in Maria's desk chair, before he focused his attention on the other five people in the room. He took a deep breath. "I know you're all just doing what you think you need to do to keep Liz safe, but you need to give her some breathing room."

"No offense, Kyle, but you really have no idea what you're talking about," Max said calmly.

"I know you're making her feel like a victim all over again," Kyle answered quietly.

Maria stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you guys are making her feel like she can't take care of herself, like she's a helpless victim who needs to be watched over and protected every minute of the day."

The room went silent.

"I'm not trying to be mean or place blame on anyone. And I'm not saying that you should just back off and leave her completely alone. But you need to give her room to breathe. Just don't treat her like she's defenseless without you. Because she's not. And the sooner you realize it, the sooner she will, too."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa studied Liz, who was sitting on her usual spot on the floor. There was something different about her today and she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. "So how long is your friend Kyle here for?"

"Just the weekend. He said he came up here because he and his girlfriend needed a vacation. But I know he came because he wanted to make sure I was okay." Liz took a deep breath and looked at her. "There's something you don't know about me."

She nodded and waited patiently.

"The reason I've been having so many nightmares...it's because of what happened to me a long time ago." Liz swallowed hard. "My uncle Charlie...abused me."

Alyssa released the breath she'd been holding. "Yeah, I had a feeling it was something like that," she admitted quietly.

Liz stared at her. "But...how did...?"

She stood up and then walked across the room and sat down on the floor next to Liz. "I'm not sure exactly how to explain this...I just...get these feeling sometimes. About people or things that are going to happen. And the first time I noticed you, I felt this overwhelming amount of sadness and pain. I think the feeling was stronger than usual because...I could identify with your pain."

Liz felt the breath catch in her throat.

"I was molested by a friend of my family's," Alyssa said, meeting Liz's shocked expression.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault."

"What...happened? I mean..."

She took a deep breath. "I told my high school counselor. And then I told my parents. I haven't seen him since. But up until I came here to Blueridge five years ago, I never told anyone else. Some...things happened here and I got really stressed out and swallowed about a hundred painkillers. After having my stomach pumped and spending two weeks in the psych ward on suicide watch, I finally opened up to a good friend of mine. And then I told Matt."

"I almost slit my wrists," Liz whispered. "If Alex hadn't shown up when he did--" she cut herself off.

"But you're not feeling suicidal now, right?"

Liz shook her head.

"That's what matters. Don't blame yourself for what happened in the past. You can't go back and change it."

"So what do I do? Sometimes I just...feel like I'm going crazy."

Alyssa reached out and squeezed her hand. "I'm not going to lie. You've got a long road ahead of you. All you can do is take it one day at a time. And remember to keep breathing. You're not alone, Liz. I know sometimes it feels like you just can't take anymore, but I promise you things will get better. You will get through this."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I'm psychic, remember?"

Liz smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

"You know, we should all do something tonight," Maria said as she glanced around the table at her friends at dinner that evening.

"Like what?" Isabel asked, pushing away the remainder of her salad.

"Like watch movies and have a big sleepover."

"Maria, I keep telling you, we're not 12 anymore," Alex joked.

She kicked him lightly under the table.

"I think it sounds fun," Isabel agreed.

"Cassie, what do you think?"

Cassie looked up at Maria and smiled. "It does sound fun," she agreed.

"Do we guys get any say in this?" Michael asked.

"No," Maria and Isabel answered simultaneously.

Liz looked across the table at Kyle, who smiled at her. She smiled back and then looked at Alyssa, who was sitting directly to her left. "Are you interested?"

"I wouldn't mind watching a movie. But after that I need to work on a paper."

"What movies should we rent?"

Michael tuned out the conversation and focused his attention on the strange feeling he'd been having since they'd arrived at Ding a half-hour before then. He casually glanced around the room.

Sure enough, they were being stared at.

By Alan Freedman.

Michael's eyes narrowed.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz yawned and her eyelids started to droop as she stared at Isabel and Maria's t.v. screen.

"Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls. Wearing this."

"Okay."

"Wearing only this."

Her eyes drifted shut despite the fact that they were watching one of her all time favorite movies. Alyssa had left after they all watched Twister. Maria had dozed off next to Liz a half-hour ago and Michael had fallen asleep during the opening credits.

For a few minutes she stayed conscious enough to hear the dialogue.

Then she drifted farther into the recesses of her own mind...

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Liz found herself standing at the park in Roswell. The sun was warm but the breeze made the day cooler. She looked around in confusion, wondering how she'd suddenly arrived in the park._

_She spotted three children playing in the sandbox a few feet away. Two little girls and a little boy. One of the little girls had long dark hair and the other had short, curly blond hair. The little boy sat on one side of the dark-haired girl and the blond girl sat on her other side._

_"I'm going to make the best castle ever!" the blond girl said excitedly as she sculpted the sand with a bucket and small plastic shovel._

_Liz's eyes were glued to the dark haired girl who was quietly and studiously making designs with a thin twig on the walls of the castle she'd built. As if the girl somehow sensed Liz was watching her, she looked up and stared back._

_Drawn to her inexplicably, Liz walked forward as the girl continued to stare at her. "That's a very cool castle," she said gently as she knelt down on the ground by the sandbox._

_The little girl nodded. "Thank you."_

_Liz's gaze flickered to the other girl and then the boy and then back to the dark-haired girl again._

_"He's coming."_

_"Who is?" Liz asked in confusion._

_"The monster. He's coming for me."_

_Liz's heart clenched in fear. Her eyes darted around the park. "There are no monsters here."_

_"Yes, there are. He always finds me. I'm never safe. Never."_

_Liz jumped back as a huge shoe suddenly slammed into the castle walls the little girl had built, kicking sand everywhere and completely leveling it._

_"I told you he always finds me."_

_She looked up and instantly backed away as Uncle Charlie glared down at her. She felt panic course through her veins as he turned to face the girl. Liz looked to the girl's friends. They continued to build their own castles, not even looking up._

_"They can't help me. They can't see him," the little dark-haired girl said sadly._

_Uncle Charlie reached down towards the girl._

_"No!" Liz cried, her eyes widening in horror._

_He turned towards her and smirked. "You can't stop me." He shoved her down on the ground and then picked up the little girl. "You'll never be able to stop me."_

_Liz watched helplessly through her tears as he picked the girl up and carried her away. "No," she whispered._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz sat up and looked around the darkened room. Maria was next to her still asleep and the room was completely silent other than the occasional snore from Michael.

She swung her legs over the edge of Maria's bed and stood up. She made her way towards the door, carefully stepping over Max and Alex and walking around Michael and Kyle, who were all sleeping on the floor.

She reached for the door lock and quietly turned it, then reached for the handle.

"Liz?" Liz turned to see Kyle sitting up on his sleeping bag. He stood up and walked over to her. "Everything okay?"

She nodded. "I'm in the mood for hot chocolate." She could make out the trace of a smile on his lips.

"Mind some company?"

"That'd be nice." She pulled the door open and slipped outside. Kyle followed her, shutting the door behind them quietly.

After a short stop at her room to grab the canister of hot chocolate mix and a couple of mugs, they left West Lowers and went out into the lobby.

Kyle watched as Liz spooned the mixture into the mugs and stirred water into them. Then she slid them into microwave and set the timer.

"I'm sorry for waking you up. I was trying to be quiet."

"Actually, I wasn't asleep."

She frowned. "You weren't?"

"No. I was thinking."

"About--?"

"Why people believed the moon was made of cheese."

She stared at him for a moment and couldn't suppress that laughter that escaped her lips.

"Really. It looks nothing like cheese," Kyle said seriously.

The microwave timer sounded and Liz shook her head and removed the mugs. She handed one to him and they sat down at the round table in the lobby.

Kyle glanced at her. "This is a nice campus. A lot smaller than U.N.M. Do you like it here?"

Liz sipped her cocoa. "Yeah, mostly. What about you? How's school going?"

He shrugged. "It's good."

"What's your major?"

"Psychology."

She looked at him in surprise. "Really?"

Kyle nodded. "Yeah, weird, huh?"

"No, it's just...that's my major, too."

"Yeah, Maria mentioned that once. I always thought you'd go into biology," he remarked.

Liz looked down at the table. "Yeah, I think everyone thought that."

"Well, as long as you're doing what you want. That's the important thing."

She met his gaze and smiled, feeling a bit sad. "Yeah."

Kyle noticed the hint of wistfulness in her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Liz. I know better than that."

"I just...wish that we could see each other more often. That's all."

His eyes softened. "Well, Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks are just around the corner."

Liz looked away quickly. "Yeah."

"And I'm pretty sure that Cassie's going to want to come back and play in the snow sometime, seeing's how it never snows in Roswell."

"You really like her, don't you?" she asked softly.

"I love her."

"I'm really glad that you've found someone, Kyle. Cassie's great. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. That means a lot to me," Kyle said sincerely.

Their eyes met and they both smiled and sipped their hot chocolate.

"So...what's going on with you and Max?" he asked quietly.

Liz took a deep breath and stared at the table. "I just...can't be with anyone right now, Kyle. It's not that I don't love him. I do. But now...I just need some time, you know?" She bit her lip and glanced at him, relieved when she didn't see any hint of disapproval on his face.

"You need to take care of yourself right now."

"I feel like I'm being selfish."

Kyle shook his head. "You're not. You need to figure things out without having to worry about everyone else. It's understandable."

She gazed at him. "Thank you for coming up here this weekend."

"You're welcome." Kyle met her gaze and set his mug down on the table. He held his arms open and she scooted around the circular booth and hugged him. "We're going to keep in touch this time, right?"

Liz nodded against his shoulder. "Definitely."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex sat on the edge of Liz's bed, watching as she cleaned up her room. Kyle and Cassie had left earlier that day and Max and Michael were both currently working. Isabel and Maria both had papers to write and homework to do, so he had decided to stay with Liz.

"So...how are you doing?" he asked carefully, talking a bit louder than usual since Tonya was blaring music from next door.

Liz didn't say anything for a moment, just continued re-arranging the clothes in her wardrobe. "I'm okay," she said finally.

He had doubts, but honestly, she did seem better than she had recently. Whatever Kyle had said to her the previous day must have really gotten to her.

She turned to look at him. "You must be really bored."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Alex, I know you and Max and Michael think you have to protect us girls 24 hours a day. But it's broad daylight and Maria and Isabel are right next door. It's going to take me the rest of the afternoon to clean my room. You don't have to stay here and play bodyguard. I'll be okay," Liz assured him, not unkindly.

"I actually don't have anything to do. So I'd rather stay and hang out with you if that's okay. But I can go if you want me to."

She picked up a blue sweater off the floor of her wardrobe and started to put it on the hanger. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to--"

Alex looked up and saw she had frozen. "Liz?" he asked with a frown.

_"Hey little girl is your daddy home  
Did he go away and leave you all alone  
I got a bad desire  
I'm on fire..."_

From where he was sitting, he could see her begin to tremble. He rose to his feet and moved quickly across the room. "Liz?"

She wouldn't--or couldn't--answer him. Her eyes were wide with fear, her face drained of all color. She just stood, seemingly rooted the ground, her breath coming in ragged, shaky puffs.

It took him a minute to realize what was happening. Then he suddenly recalled reading something about how victims of sexual abuse and rape often experienced panic attacks if something in their physical environment unexpectedly triggered a memory of the abuse they'd endured.

Alex gazed into her eyes, not touching her, afraid to initiate any physical contact without permission, afraid it would only upset her more. In a steady but gentle voice, he began to talk to her. "Liz, you're safe. You're in your dorm room at Blueridge University. No one's going to hurt you, I promise." He didn't see it having any effect, so he kept talking, forcing himself to stay calm and in control of the situation. "Liz, whatever you're remembering isn't happening now. You're safe, Liz. I'm right here with you, okay?"

Her face crumpled. "Alex?"

"I'm right here," he assured her.

She reached out for him, but started to slide to the floor, her knees giving out.

Alex quickly put an arm around her waist to slow her descent, and he let himself drop to the floor in front of her.

"What's happening to me?" she choked out.

He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her against him. "I think you're having a panic attack," he told her, stroking her hair gently.

"I feel like I'm suffocating," she gasped.

"Just take a deep breath, okay? Breathe with me." He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Liz did the same. "That's good. Again." He helped her to focus on breathing which seemed to calm her down a bit.

When she regained control of her breathing, the panic attack seemed to subside, giving way to tears. "It's never going to stop," she whispered.

"What isn't?"

"The fear. It's never going to go away. I thought if I got away it would, but it never will. It's never going to stop."

Alex closed his eyes and just held her. "We can get you help, Liz," he said quietly.

"No one can help me," Liz said, her voice barely audible. She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. Then she stood up. "I need some time alone."

He was startled by her switch of demeanor. "Liz--"

"Please, Alex."

He sighed and stood up as well. "I know you don't want to talk about what's happening. But I'll be in my room if you change your mind."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Then Alex turned and left.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa unzipped her winter coat as she headed out of the lobby and towards West Lowers. She stretched her arms above her head and yawned. She'd had to type her paper in the school's computer lab because her computer had frozen up the previous night and still hadn't unfrozen yet.

She pulled open the door to West Lowers and was startled to find Liz sitting on the floor outside her room. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, head tucked down.

"Liz?"

The other girl looked up, her eyes full of tears. "Everything's falling apart and it's all my fault."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alyssa draped a blanket around Liz's shoulders and sat down across from her in her desk chair. "What happened?" she asked gently.

"Alex was with me in my room. I was just hanging up clothes. And Tonya was blaring her radio next door. This song came on the radio and...I just...freaked out. I mean, I couldn't even breathe."

"The song triggered a memory," Alyssa said quietly.

Liz nodded, her face crumpling. "I've lost control of my life." She buried her face in her hands. "Alex probably thinks I'm psycho. I practically had a breakdown right in front of him."

"I really doubt Alex thinks that at all." Alyssa paused for a moment. "Actually, I think it would be a good idea if you talked to him about this."

"What? No, I can't. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I just can't!"

"Liz, when we first started becoming friends, you told me that you and Alex had been best friends since the fifth grade. That you could talk to him, tell him anything. What's changed between now and then? Do you not trust Alex?"

"It's not that."

"Do you think he'll not want you as a friend anymore?"

She stared at Alyssa.

"Because I'm going to tell you right now, that wouldn't happen. You're not giving him enough credit."

Liz looked away, brushing tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"Liz, you have to talk to someone about this. Someone who knows you, really knows you. By not talking to and trusting the people that love you, you're giving your uncle all this power over you. He's got you silenced now the same way he did when you were a little girl. Don't let him have control, Liz. You can fight back now."

Tears dripped soundlessly down her cheeks and splashed onto her purple sweatshirt.

Alyssa knelt down in front of her and took Liz's hands in her own. "You have the most powerful weapons of all: the truth and your voice." She stared at Liz for a long moment.

Then Liz slowly climbed to her feet. "Thank you," she whispered, dropping the blanket onto Alyssa's bed and walking out the door.

Alyssa closed her eyes. "May the gods be with you."

* * *

Liz stood outside Jewell Hall room #326 in East Lowers. The corridor was silent, but better-lit than West Lowers. She stared at the wooden door, unable to lift her hand to knock.

She closed her eyes to will away the tears that were forming again.

Could she really do this?

The very thought overwhelmed her with fear.

She suddenly heard Alyssa's voice in her mind. _"He's got you silenced now the same way he did when you were a little girl. Don't let him have control, Liz. You can fight back now."_

With resolve, Liz opened her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she knocked on the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Few survivors feel they have control over their memories. Most feel the memories have control over them, that they do not choose the time and place a new memory will emerge. You may be able to fight them off for a time, but the price--headaches, nightmares, exhaustion--is not worth staving off the inevitable. Not everyone will know a memory is starting, but many survivors do get warnings, a certain feeling or a series of feelings that clue them in. Your stomach may get tight. You may sleep poorly, have frightening dreams...."

Alex was so engrossed in what he was reading, he jumped when someone knocked on his door. "Who is it?" he yelled without looking up.

There was a moment of silence. "It's me. Liz."

He jerked his head up and closed the book. He quickly stuffed it underneath his pillow, stood up and crossed the room. He opened the door. "Hey."

"Hey," she said back. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, uncomfortably. "Are you busy?'

"No, not at all. Come on in." Alex stepped aside and closed the door behind her.

"I'm sorry about before."

"Don't be," he said immediately.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Of course. Do you want to sit down?"

Liz nodded. "Yeah, thanks," she said, almost shyly.

They sat down on his bed and glanced at each other.

"Alex, I'm really...afraid to talk about this," she confessed, staring down at his navy blue bedspread.

"I know you are," Alex said quietly. He reached out and took her hand. "But nothing you tell me is going to change the fact that you're my best friend. You don't have to deal with this alone."

She looked up and met his eyes, touched by his sincerity. "Thank you." Liz took a deep breath, determined to say what she needed to say before she lost the nerve to do so. "That song that Tonya was playing...when I heard it...I remembered that it was playing on the radio the first time that...that he raped me. I was six."

"Oh, Liz." Alex felt sick to his stomach.

"I've been having nightmares. Almost every night. I can't make them stop. He's always there. He never leaves me alone. I feel like I'm going crazy." She put her head in her hands.

He scooted closer and put his arm around her. "You are *not* going crazy."

"Alex, my parents are getting divorced."

"What?"

"That's why my mom was here. To tell me that it was my fault for what I said at Charlie's funeral." She rushed on before he could say anything. "And that if what I said happened actually happened, that I must have done something to encourage it."

A burst of anger flooded through him. "Encourage it? How the hell could you possibly have encouraged it? You were only six, for Christ's sake!"

"Maybe I said something or did something..." her voice trailed off.

"Liz, your uncle was a sick bastard who used you to get what he wanted. He was an adult. All of the blame--and I mean every single part of it--is on him alone. You are completely innocent."

When she didn't respond, Alex stood up, walked over to his book shelf and yanked down his photo album. He moved back to the bed and sat down next to her, opening the book up. He flipped through the pages until he found the picture he was looking for. Then he put the album on Liz's lap. "Look at that picture."

Liz gazed down at the photo he pointed at. It was her fourth grade class picture. She had on a long-sleeved white dress. She was smiling at the camera, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Do you honestly think that beautiful, innocent little girl could have done anything to make her uncle do what he did to her? Because I know she didn't."

She blinked back tears as she continued to stare at the picture.

"It's not your fault, Liz. You were just a kid," Alex said gently.

She swallowed hard. "I can't believe you kept this picture."

"I was the new kid in school. You were the only person in our class that gave me a picture."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Then Liz turned the page. She stifled a giggle at a photo of her, Alex and Maria taken by Maria's mom. It was around Halloween time and the three of them were scooping goo out of the pumpkins that Amy DeLuca was going to carve. Maria was threatening Alex with a handful of the goo, and Liz was making a face at the feel of the slimy substance.

"We were such a mess by the time we were through."

"It's no wonder Ms. DeLuca never invited us over to carve pumpkins again," Alex agreed, glancing at the photo.

The next picture was of the three of them in their Halloween costumes. Alex was dressed as a pirate, Maria as a fairy princess and Liz as Little Red Riding Hood. Alex was standing in between the two girls, his arms draped around them both and a big grin on his face.

Liz turned the page again and smiled slightly at the next photo. It was of the three of them on the swingset at Roswell Elementary. Her younger self occupied the middle swing, Alex was sitting to her left and Maria to her right. She was holding both of their hands.

"I have a lot of memories of that swingset," Alex said with a smile.

"Yeah, me too," she echoed. "I never would have survived without you and Maria," she added quietly.

He reached out and took her hand.

Liz turned to look at him with tear-filled eyes. "You guys kept me alive. I don't know what would have happened to me if we hadn't been friends."

Alex's own eyes watered. "Liz, I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did."

She nodded and her tears spilled over. "I know."

He pulled her into his arms and they held each other as they cried. After the tears dissipated, they just sat together in a comfortable silence, Liz's head resting on his shoulder, his chin resting on the top of her head.

Awhile later, Alex spoke again. "I don't know about you, but I could use something to drink. Do you want a soda or something?"

"Yeah, a soda would be nice."

He stood up and walked across the room to his mini-fridge.

Liz caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye. A book was peeking out from under Alex's pillow.

"Okay, we've got Pepsi, Cherry Pepsi, Sprite and 7UP."

"Cherry Pepsi," she answered. Her curiosity got the best of her and she pulled the book out from under his pillow and read the title. The Courage to Heal: A Guide For Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. She looked at Alex, who was still faced away from her, then quickly tucked the book back underneath the pillow, feeling incredibly touched that he cared so much about her.

"One Cherry Pepsi," Alex said, handing her the can. He sat down next to her.

"Thanks." She opened it and took a sip. Even though she felt a lot better than she had before, there was something else weighing heavily on her mind. "Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanksgiving break is in a week and a half. I won't be going back to Roswell with you guys," Liz said quietly.

Alex stared at her. "Well, you're not staying here alone on the holidays."

"Alex--"

"It's not gonna happen, Liz. If you're staying, I'm staying, and I bet the others feel the same way."

"You have a family, Alex," she said softly.

Alex looked at her. "So do you," he replied seriously. "And we're going to figure something out, okay? I promise."

Liz met his eyes. She didn't know why she felt totally assured by that statement, but she believed him. She nodded slowly. "Okay."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So how are you doing?" Alyssa asked as she managed to pull Liz aside from the rest of her friends as they all walked together toward Ding that evening.

"Better," Liz said with a small smile.

Alyssa looked at her and then at Alex, who had turned to check and see if Liz was still with them. "You talked to him?" she asked quietly.

Liz nodded slightly. "Yeah. Thanks for the advice."

"No problem."

They arrived at the dining hall moments later, pausing to read a sign taped to the door.

Maria read it aloud. "'Notice: Starting this week, students must bring their school I.D.'s to every meal or admittance will be denied.'" She frowned. "Is this for real? We've never had to bring our I.D.'s to Ding before."

"Maybe they're having trouble with people showing up to eat that aren't students here," Max suggested.

Alex made a face. "Who the hell would want to eat here if they didn't have to?"

"Good point," Isabel remarked.

"I don't know, but can we go inside? It's freezing," Liz commented through chattering teeth. She pulled her jacket closer around her.

"Oh, yeah." Maria pulled open the door and stepped inside, followed by everyone else.

"Hey, Liz, look. It's meatloaf. Your favorite," Alex joked, nodding towards the food behind the glass.

She made a face. "Yeah, right," she replied, swatting his arm playfully.

Michael raised an eyebrow, surprised at the light interaction between his friends. He looked at Maria, who was grinning. "No, Liz's favorite is ghoulash," she interjected.

"Actually, my favorite is anything that's not served here at Ding," Liz replied wryly.

"Understandable," Alyssa muttered, making a face at the meatloaf that was lopped onto her plate.

"No doubt," Isabel agreed, grimacing at her own plate of the so-called meatloaf.

They made their way out to the cafeteria and sat down at their usual table. "Well, who wants Captain Crunch?" Maria asked as she looked around at the unhappy faces of her friends.

"I do," Isabel said immediately.

"Me too," Alyssa agreed, standing up.

"Yeah...cereal sounds good," Liz agreed.

"Wimps," Michael said.

"Oh, yeah? Let's see you take a bite of the brick loaf, tough guy," Maria retorted.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Oh, you bet it is," she replied, a glint in her eyes.

"Fine." Michael poured a heavy helping of Tabasco sauce onto the meatloaf and then stabbed a piece with his fork and raised it to his mouth.

"He's not actually going to eat that, is he?" Alyssa asked Liz quietly, staring at Michael in horror.

"I think so," Liz said with a grimace.

"It's like one of those FOX shows...'When Smart People Do Dumb Things.' It's so awful you can't help but watch," Alex remarked to the two of them.

Liz and Alyssa both grinned.

Michael put the bite of meat in his mouth, made a face, but chewed it up and swallowed anyway. "See?"

Maria rolled her eyes. "Yep. That was very impressive, Michael." She walked away and got some cereal out of the canisters at the side of the room.

"Well, after that lovely display, I think I'll have some Captain Crunch myself," Max announced, standing up. He pushed his tray towards Michael. "You can have mine, too."

He shot a glare at his friend and then shoved away his tray. "Thanks, but I'll have to pass. I was just making a brief point, not trying to poison myself." He stood up and walked over to the cereal canisters. When Michael returned to the table, he sat down and sought out Alan's presence. He was sitting in the corner of the room with some of his friends, but his eyes were locked on Michael's friends.

"So what about sleeping arrangements tonight?" Maria asked, glancing around the table, a hint of anxiety in her voice.

"I'll stay with Liz," Alex said immediately, glancing at her.

She smiled across the table at him gratefully.

Max frowned.

"I'm staying wherever Maria is," Michael said, not taking his eyes off Alan.

"Well, Max, you could stay in Isabel and I's room again tonight," Maria suggested.

"But you're taking the floor," Isabel informed him.

"Sure." He looked at Liz, then at Alex, wondering what was going on.

"All right. That's settled then. Is it just me or is this cereal stale?" Maria asked with a sigh.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Liz was in the park again. The three little kids were playing in the sandbox._

_"He's coming for me again," the little dark haired girl told her._

_She knelt down next to her. "I won't let him hurt you."_

_"Yeah, right."_

_Liz blinked in surprise at the sarcastic tone of the girl. "I won't."_

_"I don't believe you. You've never protected me before. What's so different about now?"_

_"I--"_

_"There's my special niece!"_

_Liz looked up and glared at Uncle Charlie as he approached her and the little girl. She stood up slowly. "Go away."_

_He laughed. "You can't stop me."_

_"I said go away!" she snarled forcefully._

_The scenery shifted abruptly. She was lying in bed. The air was hot, almost stifling, and she shifted restlessly in her sleep._

_Somewhere in her mind, her subconscious registered that something wasn't right. There was a noise--a soft sound nearby, then silence._

_She twisted in the sheets sleepily, trying to get more comfortable. A moment later a hand clamped down over her mouth. Her eyes flew open and she clawed at the hand, trying to push it away._

_"I've been watching you, Lainie," he whispered. The voice was familiar but she couldn't place it..._

_He removed his hand but before she could scream, he'd covered her mouth with duct tape. She tried to see his face but it was too dark. He bound her hands together with more tape as he sat on top of her. Then his own hands moved away for a moment and when they were in view again, she realized he was holding a knife._

_He sliced open her nightgown and stared down at her. "I've been waiting for this for a long, long time, Lainie." He unbuckled his jeans and slid them off._

_No! she cried out in her mind. But she couldn't scream, couldn't move. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest._

_"You like it rough, don't you, baby?" He held the knife to her throat as he slammed into her body. She cried out, but the sound was muffled by the tape._

_Please, someone help me! she prayed._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz sat up in bed, gasping for breath. What the hell was that? she wondered, pressing a trembling hand to her heart. And where had she heard that name before? Lainie...it seemed so familiar but she couldn't figure out where she'd heard it.

She looked around her dark room, shaken by the dream. She swung her legs over the edge of her bed and stood up. She glanced at the top bunk, hesitated, then whispered, "Alex."

He rolled over and peered at her in the darkness of the room. "Liz? You okay?"

"I had a nightmare." Alex climbed down from the top bunk and held his arms out. She closed her eyes as she burrowed into the safety of his warm embrace. "Sorry to wake you."

"It's okay. I'm glad you did." They sat down on the edge of her bed and he smoothed the hair out of her face. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I...was in the park...Uncle Charlie was there...and then I was somewhere else...the guy kept calling me Lainie. He was...hurting me....or her...or...I don't know. It's really confusing."

Alex frowned. "Do you want me to stay down here with you?"

"Would you mind?"

"No. Of course not."

He laid back against the pillows, Liz's head resting on his shoulder. He kept an arm around her waist, as though he could protect her from her own nightmares that way. Alex felt her relax against him and a few moments later, she had fallen asleep again.

He closed his own eyes, and not much later he, too, fell back to sleep.


End file.
